100 Jokes About Cooking

Here are 100 funny cooking jokes and the best cooking puns to crack you up. These jokes about cooking are great cooking jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of cooking dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about cooking, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this cooking humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of mother and daughter cooking on campfire on blue background.

Cooking puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about cooking that are also awesome cooking jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. Which friends should you always take out to dinner? Your taste buds.
  2. What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator? Close the door, I’m dressing.
  3. Which condiment adds the most kick? Horseradish.
  4. Why are chefs so harsh? They’re always beating eggs.
  5. What’s the best food to eat before a workout? Mussels.
  1. What did the chef say when she ran out of seafood? Oh, it’s a clam-ity.
  2. Why did the cooker jump off the wharf? Due to peer pressure.
  3. What does the French chef give his wife on Valentine’s Day? A hug and a quiche.
  4. What is a chef’s favorite music to play in the kitchen? Wok n’ roll.
  5. How would you describe a restaurant that’s located on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere.
  1. What made the lettuce blush? Because he saw the salad dressing.
  2. Is there a good way to cook an alligator? In a croc pot.
  3. What is a skeleton chef’s specialty? Spare ribs.
  4. How does a penguin chef make pancakes? He uses his flippers.
  5. Which ingredient do chefs add to spice up Irish dishes? Gaelic cloves.
  1. Did you know the first French fry wasn’t made in France? It was cooked in Greece.
  2. Is there a reason why the cooking pot had an electric bulb? Because it was my first time of making a light soup.
  3. Have you heard about the fight in the kitchen? A fish got battered.
  4. Is there a reason why the wait staff avoided the line cook? He was always steaming.
  5. Stressed out cook overused which appliance? The pressure cooker.
  1. What did the baby corn say to its mom? Where’s my popcorn?
  2. What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business.
  3. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
  4. What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho cheese.
Cartoon graphic of two chefs testing food on blue background.
  1. Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
  2. What’s the worst crime an Italian chef could commit? Being an im-pasta.
  3. Why could the chef not cook a tree branch? Because he used a non-stick pan.
  4. What’s worse than finding hair in your food? Finding out the chef is bald.
  5. What do you call a mentally retarded chef? A slow cooker
  1. What do you call a group of witches cooking simple recipes? An Easy Bake Coven.
  2. What’s a panda‘s favorite cooking utensil? A pan…duh.
  3. What advice did the father’s fruit give to his son when he was being taken away to be cooked? Always be respectful to your elder-berries.
  4. What did father Carrot tell his son after the latter performed poorly in athletics? Keep calm and carrot on.
  1. When does bread rise? When you yeast expect it.
  2. Why did the chef put his hand in the hot cooking pot? Because he was feeling a tad chili.
  3. What did the chef say to the boiling water when he was cooking pasta? Goodbye, you are going to be mist.
  4. How did the pasta chef get locked out of his house? He came home from work with gnocchi.
  5. What bummed out the shredder? Not being grater.
  1. What is a nice guys’ favorite cooking utensil? M’Ladle.
  2. What did the husband vegetable tell his wife? You make my heart beet faster.
  3. Did you hear about the guy who took a second job as a pizza chef? He kneaded the dough
  4. Did you heard about the Indian chef that fell down from the stairs? He was curryed away to the hospital.
  5. What did the celery couple do on their wedding anniversary? They went to a diner to celery-brate!
  1. Baking paper is something I forgot to buy. Looks like my cooking will be foiled again.
  2. Make sure you don’t leave alphabet soup cooking on the stove unattended. It could spell disaster.
  3. Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.
  4. What did I do wrong? I’m so corn-fused.
  5. Did you hear about the Boston chef who died? They could not find the sauce of his illness.
  1. What are chefs always trying the win? The Hunger Games.
  2. What did the chef say to the skeleton? Bone Apetit.
  3. What is the best paying job in the world? I don’t know, but pizza chefs sure make a lot of dough.
  4. What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth? A pairing knife.
  5. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby.
Cartoon graphic of woman cook holding utensils on blue background.

Cooking one liners

Here are some great cooking joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about cooking.

  1. I told a joke about cooking, but no one laughed at it. I guess it didn’t pan out.
  2. The fruit took leave from work as he wasn’t peeling fine!
  3. My sister got extremely angry when she found that I was stir-frying our dog. I don’t understand why. She told me to take it on a wok!  
  4. Thyme flies when you have a long cooking day!
  5. The only eggs that are strictly forbidden at churches are deviled eggs!
  1. Yesterday morning, I saw my wife cooking breakfast in her bedroom slippers. I wonder why she doesn’t use the frying pan!
  2. My wife experiences occasional trouble cooking, but that’s not an issue for me at all. I bae-leaf in her!
  3. There were two chefs who always worked in the kitchen. They were taste buds!
  4. The kid yam was scolded for being rude, but he blatantly replied, ” I yam, what I yam”.
  5. I wanted to cook mushrooms at a cooking competition, but it was a one-off chance. There was not mushroom for error!
  1. I like to cook dangerously. I take whisks in the kitchen.
  2. I wanted to cook chicken for dinner, but I forgot to take it out of the freezer ahead of time. It wasn’t a well thawed out plan.
  3. Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today. Should have cooked it on aloha temperature.
  4. I cooked a medium rare steak for my friend and he said, “I like it well done.” I said, “Thanks. That means a lot.”
  5. A lawyer who cooks lunch can be called a sue chef.
  1. The chef quit because they cut his celery.
  2. The best way to impress your baker wife is to give her flours every day.
  3. It takes 3.14 pastry chefs to make a pie.
  4. If your girl can cook Chinese marry her because Sichuan of a kind.
  5. Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
  1. I dropped my sirloin on the ground during a cooking contest. Not a worry, the steaks were low.
  2. A lot of chefs think that being a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
  3. I used to be on of those chefs who shouts and swears a lot. But then I discovered oven mitts
  4. I had to give up on my plan to set up a business making work surfaces for kitchens. It was counterproductive.
  1. I prefer jokes about steaks. It’s a rare medium done well.
  2. If you can’t make them laugh you should wok away.
  3. I have a ton of food jokes, most of them are cheesy.
  4. One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music. I think it’s the Chopin board.
  5. I fell asleep beside the kitchen sink. I feel completely drained now.
  1. Saw a chef drop a full case of fish and he shouted “OH MY COD”.
  2. While at the farmers market, “I’m surprised this bag is holding up so well, it’s got so many leeks.
  3. I hate to admit it, but my wife’s cooking has seriously improved. That was best slice of soup I’ve ever had!
  4. My ex’s cooking was cold and bland. Clearly, she put her heart and soul into it.
  5. I used to be a member of the secret cooking society. But they kicked me out for spilling the beans.
Cartoon graphic of two kids chopping carrots on blue background.

Best cooking jokes

These next funny cooking puns are some of our best jokes and puns about cooking!

  1. What did one bottle of pickle say to the other? I’m kind of a big dill.
  2. What can you always substitute for ice in recipe? Frozen water.
  3. Why shouldn’t you tell jokes about peanut butter? People might spread it around.
  4. What do lousy chefs use to tell them when a roast is done? A smoke detector.
  5. Why was everyone in the kitchen upset with the sous chef? He kept roasting everyone.
  1. What does an upset chef make food with? Angrydients.
  2. Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
  3. What’s in an astronaut’s favorite sandwich? Launch meat.
  4. Why did the man want to become a chef? He wanted to figure out and add some spice to his life.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about cooking, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny vegetable jokes or food puns then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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