85 Jokes About Boats

Set sail with me through this collection of funny and irresistibly cheesy jokes about boats. And if you’ve got a nautical pun or boat joke up your sleeve, don’t leave it anchored in your mind! Feel free to write it in the comments below. I’m always looking to expand the joke lists with your witty contributions.

Cartoon graphic of large yacht on blue background.

Boat puns

I reckon the beauty of cheesy boat jokes and puns lies in their predictability. There’s something about puns that, even when you see them coming from a nautical mile away, still bring out a chuckle. Or, at the very least, an eye roll.

  1. How did the wedding on the boat go? They had a ferry-tale ending.
  2. What do you call a boat full of buddies? A friend-ship.
  3. What sits at the bottom of the sea and quivers? A nervous wreck.
  4. Where do zombies like to go sailing? The dead Sea.
  5. Why did the sailing instructor jump into the water? She wanted to test the water.
  1. Why did the dolphin chase the boat? To find its porpoise!
  2. What was the name of the boat filled with football players? Sportsman-ship.
  3. How do you get a good deal on the boat? When there is a sail on it.
  4. How to make a boat feel healthy? Just give it some vitamin sea.
  5. What is the name of the boat that is famous among people? Relation-ship.
  1. How much did the pirate pay for his piercings? A buck-an-ear.
  2. Why couldn’t the famous pirate sell his ship? Because it was unassailable.
  3. Why did the admiral decide against buying a new hat? He was worried about cap sizing.
  4. What’s another name for the captain of a sail boat? A sails manager.
  5. Do you want to keep paddling in circles or not? It’s an either oar situation.
  1. What was the name of the optometrist who came on the boat? A see captain.
  2. What causes some boats to become party boats? Pier pressure.
  3. Why didn’t the sailors play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck.
  4. How do you make luxury yacht charters look younger? Boat-tox.
  5. Why was the boat on a dating app? To find a relation-ship.
  1. What was the name of the pirate that did not fear the tides? Johnny Depth.
  2. What was the name of the boat filled with football players? Sportsman-ship.
  3. Why are boats not weirded out by another boat and their activities? Because they respect whatever floats each other’s boats.
  4. Where do the sick boats go for checkups? To the doc.
  5. Where did Bugs Bunny decide to park his boat? At the What’s-up dock.
  1. What kind of vegetable is not allowed on ships? Leeks.
  2. What was the name of the dentist’s office, which got opened on a boat? The tooth ferry.
  3. What was the discount rate at the boat store? A two-for-one sail.
  4. Why did the students go on the boat? To get their scholar-ship!
  5. How did the wedding on the boat go? They had a ferry-tale ending!
Cartoon graphic of Viking boat on blue background.

More Cheesy Boat Jokes

So, these jokes might not be sophisticated humor, but they’re perfect for sharing among friends and family.

  1. What do you call the fastest sailboat in the world? Usain Boat
  2. What ship is most liked by all the vampires? Blood vessel.
  3. How was the sailing business going on in the boat? The sails were going through the roof.
  4. From where did Captain Hook buy his hook? At a second-hand store.
  5. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? – You may think it’s the RRRR, but it’s the C that they are in love with.
  1. What activity do zombies like to do on a cruise ship? They like to shuffle-board.
  2. What did the ship’s captain say when she got stuck trying to navigate through a narrow channel? We’re in dire straits.
  3. If your boat gets sick, I know a great dock. It’s pier-reviewed.
  4. What did Gotye say after he sold his boat? Now you’re just a boat that I used to row.
  5. Have you heard about the Bluetooth iceberg? Any ship that goes near it will sync.
  1. How were the goods transported through the ship? With the help of car-go.
  2. Which movie do sailors like to watch the most? The Codfather.
  3. My friend was late for our sailing trip. When she arrived, it was a-boat time.
  4. A car ferry sailed past. “That’s a ferry impressive boat” shouted the captain.
  5. The baby boats are all scared of the boat teacher. She’s very stern. (Fun fact – The stern is the rear of a boat.)
  1. How did the sailors get marooned? A ship load of blue crashed into a ship load full of red paint.
  2. What is the sailors favorite store to shop at? Old Navy.
  3. Why are pirates so bad at learning the alphabet? Because they always get stuck at C.
  4. A brother and sister were arguing about oars in their boat. They were having a row.
  5. I got my friend a row boat. But I’d better a-skiff she wants it. (Fun fact – A skiff is a flat-bottomed boat.)
Cartoon graphic of fisherman on small boat on blue background.

Boat one liners

Now, this list is about setting sail with the right mindset. You gotta understand that sometimes, the cheesier the one-liner, the more endearing it becomes. Right? After all, isn’t there a particular joy in sharing a joke so corny that it unites everyone in collective eye-rolling?

  1. This boat is giving me a stern look.
  2. It’s a-boat time.
  3. This will be my lega-sea.
  4. Don’t mean to just barge in here.
  5. Today is knot too bad.
  1. I’m ferry impressed by this sea day.
  2. Don’t be a pain in the boat.
  3. This is what it’s all a-boat.
  4. It’s al-waves fun when we’re out on the boat.
  5. It’s always ferry fun with you around.
  1. Loving this day boatloads.
  2. Taking the sea-nic route today.
  3. I’m knot shore if you noticed, but I’m on a boat.
  4. I haven’t got a crew.
  5. Saying goodbye to my piers.
  1. I anchor-age you to get out on the water more often.
  2. I’m all a-boat loving you.
  3. How a-boat it?
  4. I’m really just seas-ing the day.
  5. This is the mast fun I’ve had in a long time.
Cartoon graphic of cruise ship on blue background.

Final thoughts

Alright, mateys, that wraps up this voyage through boat jokes! Do you have a boat joke of your own? Sail it this way! Let’s keep the laughs coming and the boat rocking. Let’s keep those puns sailin’!

If you want to hear more funny jokes then check out these other great lists of vehicle jokes.

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