50 Funny Octopus Puns

Here are 50 funny octopus jokes and the best octopus puns to crack you up. These jokes about octopuses are great octopus jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of octopus dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about octopuses, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this octopus humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of an octopus with sailor hat and anchor on a blue background.

Octopus puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about octopuses that are also awesome octopus jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What do you call octopus twins? I-tentacle.
  2. What sea creature can add up numbers? An octo-plus.
  3. What is an octopus’s favorite item of clothing? A sock-topus.
  4. Why did the octopus blush? Because he saw the bottom of the ocean.
  5. What happens when an octopus goes to the restroom? It’s octo-pied.
  1. What’s a squid’s favourite pudding? Octo-pie.
  2. What magical sport do octopuses play? Squidditch.
  3. How did the octopus pay for his newspaper? With ten nickels.
  4. What do you get if you cross a cat and a squid? An octopuss.
  5. What is the biggest danger for a baby octopus? Squid-nappers.
  1. What is the octopuses favorite shape? An octagon.
  2. How much did the vet charge to treat the octopus? Six squid.
  3. What’s an octopus’s favorite month? October.
  4. What is an octopus’s favorite food? Ten-tacos.
  5. How does an octopus propose to its sweetheart? I would like to ask for your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage.
  1. What’s a baby octopus’s favorite story? Octo-puss in boots.
  2. Why can’t an octopus commit a crime? They don’t have a bad bone in their body.
  3. What do octopuses put on their toast? Ocean current jam.
  4. What is an octopus’s favorite number? 3.14. It’s loved by octo-pi.
  5. What does the doctor say to an octopus who needs to lose weight? You need to go on a low-crab diet.
Cartoon graphic of a pink octopus on a blue background.
  1. What’s an octopus’s favorite toy? His eight little Legos.
  2. What does an octopus tell its girlfriend? You octopi my heart.
  3. Where does an octopus go to sing? The “choral” reef.
  4. Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?  Because the octopus was well armed.
  5. How many times do you have to tickle an octopus to make it laugh? Ten tickles.
  1. What do you call a flying octopus? An octocopter.
  2. Why did the octopus blush? Because the seaweed.
  3. What do you call a cool octopus? Tenta-cool.
  4. Why did the octopus cross the reef? To get to the other tide.
  5. Did you hear about the octopuses that were in love? They went about arm in arm in arm in arm.
  1. Why did the giant octopus eat two ships filled with potatoes? Because you can’t eat just one potato ship.
  2. Why did the octopus cross the road? Because it was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
  3. What sea creatures say hello 16 times? Two octopuses shaking hands.
  4. What did the octopus say when it saw a shark? Oh, crab.
  5. What do you call an octopus that plays guitar? A rock-topus.
Cartoon graphic of a red smiling octopus on a blue background.

Octopus one liners

Here are some great octopus joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about octopuses.

  1. An octopus was filming a TV show, but they had to temporarily stop filming. They were experiencing tentacle difficulties.
  2. I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday. Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now. But the vet charged me six quid.
  3. Scientists have discovered that, on occasion, an octopus will “punch” a fish for no reason other than spite. That’s called Toxic Molluskulinity.
  4. A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the army. The octopus says, “No thanks, I’m army enough as it is.”
  5. I just learned that an octopus’s brain is wrapped around it’s oesophagus. That is food for thought.
Cartoon graphic of a pirate octopus with a hook hand on a blue background.

Best octopus jokes

These next funny octopus puns are some of our best jokes and puns about octopuses!

  1. What has eight arms and tells the time? A clocktopus.
  2. Did you hear about the octopus couple? They got cala-married.
  3. What do humans and octopus have in common? Two sets of forearms.
  4. Where does an octopus keep its money? In an octo-purse.
  5. Did you hear about the octopus that played football? He had ten tackles.
  1. What do you call a relaxed octopus? A calm-ari.
  2. What do you call an octopus that’s missing one tentacle? Octopus Prime.
  3. Why do people hate camping with octopuses? Tent-tickles.
  4. What does the boss octopus say before work? Let’s get kraken.
  5. Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus? He got inked up.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about octopuses, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more random animal jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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