90 Funny Whale Jokes

Here are 90 funny whale jokes and the best whale puns to crack you up. These jokes about whales are great whale jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of whale dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about whales, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this whale humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of a blue whale with water splashing out its top on a blue background.

Whale puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about whales that are also awesome whale jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What’s a whale’s favorite motivational quote? Where there’s a whale, there’s a way.
  2. What do you get when you cross a cow with a killer whale? Sha-Moo.
  3. What birthday party game do whales like to play? Salmon Says.
  4. Why did the killer whale go to jail for stealing all the diamonds? He’s the one that orca-strated the heist.
  5. What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog? One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
  1. How did the whale get to the hospital? In a big clambulance.
  2. How do you find out how heavy a whale is? Take them to a whale-weigh station.
  3. How did the octopus make the whale laugh? With ten-tickles.
  4. Why did the whale cross the ocean? It was her life’s porpoise.
  5. Why did the whale turn down the job offer? Because he didn’t want to be tide down by a full-time job.
  1. How do you make a fish laugh? Tell it a whale of a tale.
  2. What time is it when a whale jumps into your boat? Time to get a new boat.
  3. Why do mermaids never stay on shore for too long? They find it over-whale-ming.
  4. What do whales need to stay healthy? Vitamin Sea.
  5. Why do whales sing? Because they can’t talk.
  1. Why did the whale cross the ocean? To get to the other tide.
  2. Did you hear about the killer whale? He went in for the krill.
  3. What’s a whale’s favorite movie? The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
  4. How does a pod of whales make a decision? They flipper coin.
  5. Why does Charles get treated like royalty when he goes in the sea? Because he’s the Prince of Whales.
  1. Why don’t whales do well on their report cards? Because they work below C-Level.
  2. How does a whale relax? Netflix and krill.
  3. What is an orca’s favorite kind of nut? Whalenuts.
  4. How do killer whales hunt? With a well orcastrated attack.
  5. Why can’t you trust a whale with your money? He’ll blow the hole lot.
  1. What do you do with a blue whale? Cheer it up.
  2. If whales lived on land, which country would they live in? Finland.
  3. Why don’t whales play volleyball? Because they’re afraid of the net.
  4. Why are whales great at playing baseball? They know how to dive for the ball.
  5. What did the orca right on his Valentine’s Day card? Whale you be mine?
Cartoon graphic of blue whale with water coming out its top on blue background.
  1. What does a whale like to chew? Blubber-gum.
  2. Did you know that whales can squirt ink? Just squidding.
  3. Why did the two whales get married? They were head over fins in love.
  4. What did the baby dolphin say when she was sad? Nothing, she just whale-d.
  5. Where did the whale go for his vacation? Venez-whale-a.
  1. How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west.
  2. What’s an orca’s favorite TV show? Whale Of Fortune.
  3. Why did the whale call a detective? He saw something that looked fishy.
  4. Why do whales like salt water? Pepper makes them sneeze.
  5. Why did the whales tell their friend to be quiet? He wouldn’t stop harpooning on about things.
  1. What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie? A License To Krill.
  2. Why aren’t whales afraid of pirates? They like being made to walk the plankton.
  3. How do dolphins travel long distances? They whale a cab.
  4. How do you make a whale float? Combine root beer, ice cream and a whale.
  5. What do whales do when they get angry? They blow up and then let off steam.
  1. What do you call a whale in kindergarten? A little squirt.
  2. Why was the whale arrested? Because his alibi seemed a little fishy.
  3. What do you call an ocean with security cameras? An Orwhaleian nightmare.
  4. Where do whales sleep at night? In water beds.
  5. Why did the whale want to stay at the party? She was having Whale of a time.
  1. What do British whales eat? Fish and ships.
  2. Have you ever seen a fish cry? No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
  3. What do whales use for money? Sand dollars.
  4. Why did the whale cross the road? Because there was a tsunami.
  5. Where does a little killer whale go to get braces? The orca-dentist.
  1. What do you call a whale on a beach? Banked.
  2. What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale? Long time no sea.
  3. Why do killer whales never make friends with other species? They’re too orca-ward.
  4. What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant? A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
  5. What did the whale say after eating the boat? This tastes like ship.
Cartoon graphic of a smiling pink whale on blue background.

Whale one liners

Here are some great whale joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about whales.

  1. There’s just some fin about you, I think its that you’ve got a krill-er personality.
  2. I whale always love you.
  3. That young whale has a way with the ladies due to his kriller personality.
  4. I know a whale joke, it’s a real killer.
  5. The reason that an Orca can travel such long distances is that they are good at whaling cabs.
  1. There’s no-fin I wouldn’t do for you.
  2. Whale, whale, whale, if it isn’t a pod.
  3. Someone once told me that whales could squirt ink, then I realized that they were just squidding.
  4. The two whales broke up because they felt they were drifting apart.
  5. The little whale was sent home from school early because he was caught chewing blubber gum.
  1. The story about that flying Orca is a whale of a story.
  2. I saw a group of whale musicians, they were part of an orca-stra.
  3. I think whale make a great team.
  4. Whales thrive in the whale-derness.
  5. The sign in the underwater barber shop says: “We are helping to shave the whales”.
  1. When blue whales have to make a decision, they flipper coin.
  2. I tried whale meat. But I’m just not that Inuit
  3. Get whale soon.
  4. Whenever a whale faces difficulties, he tells himself, “everything whale be all right.”.
  5. When the group of orcas gets together at night, they love to watch the Whale of Fortune.
Cartoon graphic of a purple whale with water coming out its head on a blue background.

Best whale jokes

These next funny whale puns are some of our best jokes and puns about whales!

  1. Where do whales keep their money? In an octopurse.
  2. What do you call a group of whale musicians? An orca-stra.
  3. Which type of whale can fly? Pilot whales.
  4. What do polite whales always say? You’re whale-come.
  5. What makes whales the best hackers? They are great at breaching security.
  1. Who helps injured whales? Sturgeons.
  2. What did the mermaid send to her sick friend? Get whale card.
  3. What is a whale’s favorite sandwich? Krilled cheese.
  4. What do you call a group of talking whales being recorded? A podcast.
  5. What did the mommy whale do when her son stayed out too late? She flipped.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about whales, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny jokes about animals then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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