85 Funny Beach Jokes

Surf into a sea of smiles with these sun-soaked beach jokes! Whether you’re a beach bum or just someone who loves the sound of waves. These coastal quips will shore-ly tickle your funny bone.

Cartoon graphic of sunbathing cat under an umbrella on blue background.

Beach puns

These beach puns are so tide-ally terrific you’ll be laughing from coast to coast!

  1. Did you hear about the martial artists who fought on the beach? They faced off in sand-to-sand combat.
  2. What do you call a beach party that gets out of hand? Sandemonium.
  3. Why do bananas use suncream? Because they peel.
  4. Why is the beach so friendly? Because it always waves.
  5. Which animal is the strongest at the beach? The mussels.
  1. What did the tree wear to the beach? Swimming trunks.
  2. What do you call a beach that keeps losing sand? A shore loser.
  3. What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet? Tan toes.
  4. Why can you never get hungry on the beach? Because of all the sand which is there.
  5. What do you call a pig walking on a leash on the beach? Pulled pork.
  1. What does a guy with two right feet wear to the beach? Flop-flops.
  2. What did the ocean have to say to the pirate? Not a sound—it just waved.
  3. What did the pig say when it was lying on the sand? I’m bacon.
  4. What’s the most common insect found on the beach? A beach buggy.
  5. What do you call a French man who wears sandals? Phillipe Phloppe.
  1. What happens when you take a nap by the ocean? You wake up with Resting Beach Face.
  2. Why is the sand under the dock so resistant? It doesn’t give into pier pressure.
  3. Are there any kinds of sandwiches you can enjoy at the beach? Peanut butter and jellyfish.
  4. Can you tell me how much does it cost to attend the beach for a day? It’s just a few sand dollars.
  5. Did the beach say anything as the tide came in? Long time, no sea.
  1. What is the best thing to eat on the beach? A sandwich.
  2. When the sand got into a fight with the ocean, what did it say? “OMG, you’re such a beach.”
  3. What kind of clothes do sheep wear to the beach? A baa-kini.
  4. What did the shovel say to his friend on the beach? Are you okay? You’re looking a bit pail.
  5. What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have? Shells.
    Cartoon graphic of blue ocean and beach with palm tree.
    1. Why was the detective at the beach? There was a crime wave.
    2. Who rules the beach? The sand-witch.
    3. What did the family do when they arrived at the summer breach resort? They shell-abrated.
    4. Why do people swim at saltwater beaches? Because pepper beaches would make them sneeze.
    5. What do you call a labrador on the beach in the summer? A hot dog.
    1. Why is the beach always so confident? It’s 100% shore.
    2. What type of hair does the ocean have? Wavy.
    3. Did you hear about the race between the sand and the sea? They tied.
    4. What crashes onto the shore on very small beaches? Micro-waves.
    5. When Cinderella goes to the beach, what does she wear? Glass flippers.
    1. When the fisherman’s line got tangled, what did he say? Something a-piers to be wrong.
    2. What do you call a rejected guitarist now living on the beach? A sea minor.
    3. Why did the boneless man go to the beach? He wanted to get skele-tan.
    4. What do pigs bring to the beach? A surf-BOAR-d.
    5. How does an ocean’s floor keep up to date with all the news? Of course, by following current events.
    1. Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A mer-maid.
    2. What did the water say to the beach? Nothing it just waved.
    3. What does Sonic the hedgehog wear at the beach? A speedo.
    4. Why didn’t the poodle want to go to the beach? It didn’t want to be a hot dog.
    5. Have you heard about the race between the sand and the sea? Eventually, they tide.
    1. Why did the crab cross the beach? To get to the other tide.
    2. What’s the first card game played at the beach? Go Fish.
    3. What do you call a cat that lives at the beach? Sandy claws.
    4. What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it? Shore.
    5. What would you find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch.
    1. What do you call a witch that lives in the sand? I don’t know but I’m getting hungry.
    2. I asked the beach where the sea was? It said it wasn’t shore.
    3. What do you call Scooby and Fred Flintstone in snorkels? Scooby Scooba Doo.
    4. What is a sea monster’s favorite dish? Fish and ships.
    5. Why did the fish blush? Because the sea weed.
    1. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? They’re shellfish.
    2. Where did the seaweed look for a job? In the ‘kelp-wanted’ ads!
    3. What do you find at the end of a beach? The letter ‘H’!
    4. How do you call a snowman on the beach? A puddle!
    5. How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
    1. How do beaches greet each other? With a sandshake.
    2. What do you call a beach party that gets out of hand? Sandemonium.
    3. What did one sand dune say to the other? I will never desert you.
    4. Why did the dolphin cross the ocean? To get to the other tide.
    5. What do you call a waffle on a California beach? A Sandy Eggo.
    1. Did you hear about the martial artists that fought on the beach? They were practising sand to sand combat.
    2. What did the parasol say to the beach towel? I’ve got you covered.
    3. Why did the police get called to the beach? There was something fishy going on.
    4. Why was the sand wet? Because the sea-weed on it.
    5. Why did the seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it’d be a bagel!
    Cartoon graphic of beach chair under an umbrella with ball on blue background.

    Beach one liners

    Here are some great beach joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about beaches.

    1. I was on the beach and got hit by a massive wave of cake. It was a tiramisunami.
    2. I told my beach joke at high tide; it swept the audience away.
    3. If you drop your watch at the beach, does that make it a sand-watch?
    4. You can’t trust an atom on the beach; they make up everything!
    5. I tried to write with a broken pencil on the beach, but it was pointless.
    1. I think I might be turning into a beach. But I’m still not 100% shore.
    2. I’m swimming at the beach, water you doing today.
    3. I sneaked onto a beach early this morning. The coast was clear.
    4. Beach umbrellas like throwing shade.
    5. I told a mermaid joke; it made quite a splash.
    1. I found a load of batteries washed up on the beach. I was collecting C Cells on the sea shore.
    2. On a beach diet, I sea food and eat it!
    3. I wanted to share joke about sandcastles, but it crumbled under pressure.
    4. I see you trying to come up with some funny ocean puns. But I beach you to it.
    5. I made a pun about the beach breeze; it blew everyone away.
    Cartoon graphic of large sand castle on blue background.

    Final thoughts

    After reading through all these hilarious jokes about beaches, we hope you had a good laugh. If you want to hear more jokes then check out these other great lists!

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