35 Funny Battery Jokes

Here are 35 funny battery jokes and the best battery puns to crack you up. These jokes about batteries are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of battery dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about batteries, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this battery humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of an orange battery pointing up with his finger on a blue background.

Battery puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about batteries that are also awesome battery jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What do you call a battery that gets hurt? AA tragedy.
  2. What is the liquid inside the iPhone’s battery called? Apple juice
  3. What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged
  4. What does a vampires torch run on? Bat-teries.
  5. Did you hear about the guy who stole batteries? He was charged on the spot.
  1. I have no life but I can die. What am I? A battery.
  2. What has 2 hands, a face and is only ever right twice a day? A clock with no battery.
  3. Why was the 9V battery thrown out of church? Because they were holding an AA meeting.
  4. What did the Battery say on his Blind Date? I have a lot of energy and I am a pretty positive guy. But I do have a negative side.
  5. What is the downtime you experience while your batteries recharge called? Re-volting.
Cartoon graphic of a button battery waving and smiling on a blue background.

Battery one liners

Here are some great battery joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about batteries.

  1. Would you like a dead battery? They are free of charge.
  2. Just found two lumps on my car battery. Got them tested, one came back positive. I hope it’s not terminal.
  3. Did you hear that the Energizer bunny got arrested? He was charged with battery.
  4. I tried installing a calendar app but accidentally installed a colander. It keeps draining my battery.
  5. A man was found electrocuted, with only a car battery in the room. Police are still looking for leads.
  1. I was arrested for drinking battery acid. But I wasn’t charged.
  2. Batman’s suit ran out of battery power. Batman: I need a battery. Robin: What’s a tery?
  3. Just broke the leads to my new battery. Such a shame, it had so much potential.
  4. The batteries in my keyboard died while I was playing a prison simulator. Now I can’t escape.
  5. A robot went on a crime spree in the neighborhood before it ran out of battery. The cops are refusing to charge the perpetrator.
  1. A stranger attacked me with 1 triple A energizer and sodium chloride. I guess you could say I’m a victim of a salt and battery.
  2. Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. He was charged with a salt in battery.
  3. A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.
  4. I accidentally left some AA batteries in my pocket when I put them in the wash. Now that’s what I call clean energy.
  5. So the batteries in my flashlight ran out. You would think I would be upset, but I was actually delighted.
Cartoon graphic of a battery smiling and doing a squat on a blue background.

Best battery jokes

These next funny battery puns are some of our best jokes and puns about batteries!

  1. You’re a battery, Harry. I’m a watt?
  2. I invented a surgical robot. So far it only operates on batteries.
  3. Which sea creature wants smaller batteries? The “more A” eel
  4. I can sympathize with batteries. I never get included in anything either.
  5. I found a load of batteries washed up on the beach. I was collecting C Cells on the sea shore.
  1. What fruits do the batteries like the most? The currants.
  2. What did the little battery scream when it stood on a lego brick? AAA.
  3. Why do robots like pancakes? Because they are batter-y.
  4. What’s the most Canadian battery? Triple Eh.
  5. What did the judge say to the battery when he took the stand? You’re guilty as charged.
Cartoon graphic of a grey battery smiling with arms in the air on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about batteries, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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