20 Funny Needle Puns

Here are 20 funny needle jokes and the best needle puns to crack you up. These jokes about needles are great jokes for kids and adults.

Cartoon graphic of a hand holding a needle about to pop a red balloon on a blue background.

Needle puns

Here is our top list of needle dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about needles, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this needle humor with others.

  1. What kind of pine has the sharpest needles? A porcupine.
  2. What did the needle say to the balloon? I am the king of pop.
  3. What has one eye, but can’t see? A needle.
  4. What does the space needle sew? The fabric of space time.
  5. Where do the needle and thread go on a hot summer’s day? The swimming spool.
Cartoon graphic of a nurse face emoji holding a needle on a blue background.

Needle one liners

Here are some great needle joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about needles.

  1. Good acupuncture is a jab well done.
  2. I’d tell you a joke about a blunt needle but it’s pointless.
  3. A group of friends with needles are part of a clothes knit community.
  4. There’s no point in adding an extra “s” to the word needles. It’s needless.
  5. I would tell you a joke about a needle in a haystack, but I don’t think you’d see the point.
  1. A woman had to get her knitting needles fixed. They just didn’t seam right.
  2. I bet some friends I could manufacturer a sewing needle. It was a silly challenge but I made my point.
  3. The most impressive thing about it taking ten sheep to make a jumper is that I didn’t know they had any knitting needles.
  4. I asked my acupuncturist to use smaller needles this time, but they ignored me. I’ve never felt so stabbed in the back.
  5. Just got my vaccine, but they stuck the needle in my leg. I spent the following day thinking “my Pfizer killing me”.
Cartoon graphic of a man in a mask standing next to a giant doctors needle on a blue background.

Best needle jokes

These next funny needle puns are some of our best jokes and puns about needles!

  1. Why can’t Christmas trees sew? They always drop their needles.
  2. Why wouldn’t the string go into the eye of the needle? It was afreyed.
  3. What do you get when you take a needle to a balloon filled with yogurt? Pop culture.
  4. Someone keeps going around and stealing people’s knitting needles. Police think he is following a pattern.
  5. A friend with knitting needles told me he has a pattern for sunglasses. I think he’s trying to pull the wool over my eyes.
Cartoon graphic of a needle and red thread on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about needles, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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