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50 Funny Beaver Jokes

Here are 50 funny beaver jokes and beaver puns to crack you up. If you’ve got some of your own beaver jokes to add, drop em in the comments below!

Cartoon graphic of beaver waving on blue background.

Beaver puns

Here are some of our favorite beaver puns for you to sink your teeth into!

  1. What did the beaver say when it saw it’s home on fire? Dam!
  2. What did the beaver say to the tree? It’s been nice gnawing you.
  3. What did the beaver say when he slipped in water? Damn it!
  4. Did you watch that Beaver Documentary? It was the Best Dam Show!
  5. What do you call a lazy beaver? A beaver that doesn’t give a dam.
  1. Why did the beaver need an alarm clock? It was too dam early.
  2. What did the sign for the party for beavers say? Beaver or be square.
  3. What is a beaver’s favorite snack? Wood chips.
  4. Where do beavers sleep? On a river bed.
  5. What did a river say when seeing beavers for the first time? Well I’ll be dammed!
  1. What does a French beaver call his dam? Ma’dame.
  2. Where do beavers keep their money? They keep it in the riverbank.
  3. Why are beavers always happy? They don’t give a dam.
  4. Why are beavers so good at maths? They love log-arithms.
  5. Did you hear about the beaver who learned to code? It was the best dam program ever made
  1. What did one beaver say to the other beaver when he fell in the river? Dammit
  2. Who do Beavers get a lot of flak for building their shelters and blocking water ways? They are Damed if they do, and Damned if they don’t.
  3. Why was the beaver mad?  because no one came to his damn party
  4. What’s the worst part about being a beaver? It’s a lot of dam work.
  5. Why do beavers make the best neighbors? Because they mind their own dam business.
Cartoon graphic of two beavers holding hands on blue background.
  1. Why was the beaver too cool for the river? It was too mainstream.
  2. What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can’t tide.
  3. What did the ocean say to the beaver? Nothing, it just waved.
  4. What did the beaver say to the scout who tried to recruit him? Your offer is too dam low.
  5. What did the male beaver say to the female beaver when she said she wanted him to build something nice for her? “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a dam.”
  1. Why did the beaver need an alarm clock? It was too dam early.
  2. How do beavers make a bouncy dam? They use spring water.
  3. Who’s beaver’s favorite pop singer? Justin Beaver.
  4. How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in
  5. Why don’t you ever find beavers at sea? They don’t have much gnaw-tical experience.

Beaver one liners

Here are some great beaver joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about beavers.

  1. Someone once challenged me to tell a joke about beavers. I said dam, I can’t .
  2. I should start making friends with beavers  They always seem to give a dam
  3. The hipster beaver refused to swim in the river He said it was too mainstream.
  4. A beaver walks into a bar and the bartender asks: You want a drink? To which the beaver replied ‘GNAW.
  5. I saw a beaver movie last night it was the best dam movie I’ve ever seen.
  1. Hey girl, are you a beaver? Cause damn.
  2. Beavers always get in trouble for illegal streaming.
  3. Beavers are so chill. They just go with the flow.
  4. Knock knock! Whose there? Beaver! Beaver who? Be-very-quite, I’m hiding.
  5. My Dutch guinea pigs want to become beavers. They’re building a Hamsterdam.
Cartoon graphic of beaver with stick house on blue background.

Best beaver jokes

These next funny beaver puns are some of our best jokes and puns about beavers!

  1. How does a beaver get online? He logs in
  2. What do beavers like to put on their salads? Branch dressing.
  3. What did the river say to the beaver? Nothing, it just waved.
  4. What did the sign for the party for beavers say? Beaver or be square
  5. Why was the beaver was found guilty? Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
  1. What is a beaver’s favourite rap artist? Timber-land
  2. What does beaver chili taste like? Like a normal chili, but little otter
  3. What is a beaver’s most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale
  4. What did the river ask the beaver? Water you doing today?
  5. Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was juve’niles
Cartoon graphic of beaver with tongue out on blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about beavers, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny animal jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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