35 Funny Finger Jokes

Here are 35 funny finger jokes and the best finger puns to crack you up. These jokes about fingers are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of finger dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about fingers, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this finger humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of a boy chewing on his fingers on a blue background.

Finger puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about fingers that are also awesome finger jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What has five fingers and isn’t your hand? My hand.
  2. Why does a thief need glue? To give him sticky fingers.
  3. What’s the most reliable body part? You can always count on your fingers.
  4. What is the opposites of Lady Fingers? Mentoes.
  5. How did a man buy a house with a chicken finger? It was legal tender
  1. What are ten things a student can always count on? Their fingers.
  2. Why is The Hulk such a good gardener? Because he’s got green fingers.
  3. Is there something wrong with your cactus? Yes, but I can’t put my finger on it.
  4. I asked my friend to lend me a hand. But all he gave me was a finger.
  5. Did you know, zombies don’t eat popcorn with their fingers? They like to eat their fingers separately.
  1. Why did the construction worker dip his finger in blue ink? To get a blueprint.
  2. Where can you find giant snails? At the end of a giants fingers.
  3. My uncle cut off his finger while trimming his trees, but can’t remember how it happened. He tried his best to remember, but ended up stumped.
  4. What did the electrician say when someone asked her how it feels to stick your finger in an electrical outlet? To be honest, it Hertz.
  5. Doctor, doctor I recently had an accident and lost three fingers on my right hand, will I still be able to write with it?’ ‘Probably! But I wouldn’t count on it.”
Cartoon graphic of a 5 finger puppets of animals on a hand on a blue background.

Finger one liners

Here are some great finger joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about fingers.

  1. I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.
  2. A roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says “five beers please”.
  3. A few people were mean to me about choosing to wear mittens instead of gloves, but I don’t like to point fingers.
  4. A robot broke a kids finger during a chess tournament. Still processing it.
  5. I dislocated my finger but my friends helped reset it. It was a joint effort.
  1. Just grilled some fish fingers. I didn’t get any information out of them though.
  2. Looking for ways to keep my hands warm in fingerless gloves. Any tips?
  3. My friend just broke all his fingers in a freak accident. I can’t even imagine how he feels.
  4. A football player goes to the physio and says “it hurts when I touch my arm, my chest and my leg”. The physio says “you have broken your finger”.
  5. I awoke from an accident and was shocked when the doctor told me that my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
  1. Marriage is something that puts a ring on a woman’s finger and two under a man’s eyes.
  2. I broke my little finger today. Good thing I haven’t make any pinky promises recently.
  3. I am trying to figure out the reason why I have such difficulty using my doorbell. I just can’t put my finger on it.
  4. Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.
  5. When I was a kid I figured out how to play the piano by ear. After a while I learned that it was easier to use my fingers.
Cartoon graphic of two hands making a love symbol with its fingers on a blue background.

Best finger jokes

These next funny finger puns are some of our best jokes and puns about fingers!

  1. What do you find in a clean nose? Fingerprints.
  2. Why don’t people with butter fingers like jokes? They can’t handle it.
  3. What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar? Finger prince.
  4. What nails do carpenters hate hitting? Fingernails.
  5. What do you call it when only one finger steers your car? A thumb drive.
Cartoon graphic of a hand with 5 finger puppets of different animals on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about fingers, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny anatomy puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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