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20 Jokes About Garlic

Here are 20 funny garlic jokes and the best garlic puns to crack you up. These jokes about garlic are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of garlic dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about garlic, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this garlic humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of a cute halved garlic smiling on a blue background.

Garlic puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about garlic that are also awesome garlic jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. How do you kill a gluten free vampire? With garlic bread.
  2. Why was the used garlic naked? Because it had no cloves left.
  3. What do you call a fake garlic? Garlic knots.
  4. What do you call someone who has been raised by garlic? Garlic bred
  5. What did the underweight onion say to the garlic? No more light bulb jokes.
  1. What did the garlic say to the vampire? You want a pizza of me?
  2. What do you call an all-you-can-eat garlic restaurant? Buffet the Vampire Slayer.
  3. Why did the blonde throw tic-tacs in her spaghetti? The recipe told her to mints her garlic.
  4. Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don’t lose much weight, but from a distance, your friends think you look thinner.
  5. What does eating raw garlic have to do with preventing COVID-19? It helps keep everyone at a safe distance.
Cartoon graphic of a smiling garlic standing with a love heart near its head on a blue background.

Garlic one liners

Here are some great garlic joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about garlic.

  1. Rest in peace, garlic. You will be minced.
  2. The recipe said to crush the garlic. So I told it, “You’ll never amount to anything.”
  3. I went to the local Indian restaurant because my kids wanted garlic bread. They had naan.
  4. I love to smother my burger with lots of chunky tomato, onion and garlic condiment. I really relish it.
  5. I’m having mixed feelings about that garlic diet. So far, I’ve lost 10 pounds and most of my friends.
Cartoon graphic of a garlic bulb smiling on a blue background.

Best garlic jokes

These next funny garlic puns are some of our best jokes and puns about garlic!

  1. What does garlic do when it gets hot? It takes its cloves off.
  2. What kind of socks do you need to plant garlic? Garden hose.
  3. How do you make garlic toast? Lift your glass and talk about the wonderful things it has done.
  4. Did you hear the one about the dog who ate a bunch of garlic? His bark was worse than his bite.
  5. How many vampires showed up to the garlic eating competition? I don’t know, it was countless.
Cartoon graphic of standing and waving garlic wearing sunglasses on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about garlic, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny vegetable puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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