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65 Teacher And Student Jokes

Here are 65 funny teacher and student jokes and the best teacher puns to crack you up. These jokes about students and teachers are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of teacher and student dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about teachers, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this teacher and student humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of a teacher and students on blue background.

Teacher and student puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about teacher and student that are also awesome teacher and student jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. How is an English teacher like a judge? They both give out sentences.
  2. What do you call an English teacher with a social media addiction? Instagrammar.
  3. Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
  4. What did the ghost teacher say to the class? Look at the board and I will go through it again.
  5. What do you call a teacher who forgot to take attendance? Absent-minded.
  1. Why do Teachers fart in class? Because they are not private tooters.
  2. What do you call it when your science teacher lowers your grade? Bio-degraded.
  3. Where do math teachers like to go on vacation? Times Square.
  4. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you? Pick them up and roll them back.
  5. Where did the music teacher leave her keysOn the piano.
  1. What does a teacher do at the pool? Tests the water.
  2. Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
  3. Why did the teacher take their class up a mountainTo get higher grades.
  4. Why did the one student swallow all her pennies? Because the teacher told her she needed more cents.
  5. Why are maths teachers secretly pirates? Because they’re always trying to find X.
  1. Why was the head teacher worried? Because there were so many rulers in the school.
  2. How many dancer teachers does it take to change a light bulb? Five! Six! Seven! Eight.
  3. How did the math teacher teach geometry with fractured handsShe would just toe the line.
  4. What is the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says “Spit your gum out” and a train says, “Chew, chew.”
  5. What are ten things a student can always count on? Their fingers.
  1. What is a math teacher’s favorite sum? Summer.
  2. What is the similarity between an optometrist and a teacher? They both love testing pupils.
  3. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her class was so bright.
  4. Why did the teacher grade her students underwater? Because their marks were below sea level.
  5. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? Because he couldn’t control his pupils.
Cartoon graphic of a teacher and students sitting at a table on a blue background.
  1. What do you call a teacher without students? Happy.
  2. What is a math teacher favorite dessert? Pi.
  3. What did the student say to the teacher after he missed the first day of school? No, I didn’t miss it at all.
  4. What did the biology teacher tell the frog? Looks aren’t everything, it’s what inside you that really matters.
  5. What did the bat do when he didn’t know the answer to the teacher’s question? He winged it.

Teacher and student one liners

Here are some great teacher and student joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about teacher and student.

  1. Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately it kills all its students.
  2. My favorite teacher at school was Mrs. Turtle. Strange name but she tortoise well.
  3. The locksmith was a great piano teacher because he was always aware of the correct key.
  4. Teachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.
  5. I complained to my math teacher that it was too cold in the classroom. She told me to stand in the corner. Because the corner is 90 degrees.
  1. A globe means the world to a geography teacher.
  2. The new geology teacher hasn’t had it easy. She got off to a rocky start.
  3. My English teacher used to quote lord of the rings to us. She used to say “you shall not pass”.
  4. I said to my teacher, “I don’t think I deserved a zero for this test.” She said, “I agree, but I couldn’t give you any less.”
  5. My math teacher has often been found alone with a bunch of graph papers. I bet he is plotting something against the students.
  1. Recently, our geology teacher lost a large chunk of schist rock from his office. You should have heard him yelling about someone taking a schist in the lab.
  2. The teacher asked Billy to name 10 animals you could see in Africa. He replied: ”nine giraffes and an elephant”.
  3. Someone keyed the music teacher’s car. Fortunately, the damage seems to B Minor.
  4. The class was very rowdy, and as a result, the chemistry teacher lost her mole-cule.
  5. Our chemistry teacher tried to tell a joke but got no reaction.
Cartoon graphic of students and teacher holding hands in a line on a blue background.

Questions and funny replies

  1. Teacher: Didn’t I just tell you to stand at the end of the line? Student: Well, I tried, but there was someone there already.
  2. Teacher: If you have got $50 from 5 people, what do you get? Student: A new bike.
  3. Teacher: If I had 7 oranges in one hand and 5 apples in the other, what would I have? Student: Big hands.
  4. Teacher: What is the shortest month? Student: May, it only has three letters.
  5. Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn’t you? Student: Not really.
  1. Teacher: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Student: Na.
  2. English Class Teacher: “One day we will be corruption free. Which tense is it?” Student: “Future impossible tense.”
  3. Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of. Student: Life imprisonment.
  4. Teacher: “How far have you gone with your homework, Johnny? “Little Johnny: “About 8 kilometers miss. I went home with it and came back with it this morning.”
  5. Teacher: Why you’re staring at an empty piece of paper? Student: I’m drawing a blank.
Cartoon graphic of students and teacher standing in a circle on a blue background.

Best teacher and student jokes

These next funny teacher and student puns are some of our best jokes and puns about teacher and student!

  1. Why did the teacher turn the lights on? Because her class was so dim.
  2. Why did the teacher write on the window? Because she wanted the lesson to be very clear.
  3. How do the students feel when the power goes out at school? De-lighted.
  4. Did you guys hear about the kid getting arrested for bringing a clock to school? Sources say that the teachers were alarmed.
  5. What do you get when you cross a software engineer with an English teacher? A pro-grammar.
  1. Why was the music teacher sad? He had lots of trebles.
  2. Which school teachers have the greenest thumbs? The kinder-garden teachers.
  3. Why was the biology teacher so popular at school? He was a fungi.
  4. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire? Lots of blood tests.
  5. When does a teacher carry birdseed? When there is a parrot-teacher conference.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about teacher and student, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny occupation jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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