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60 Funny Rock Puns

ByChe Lewis

Here are 60 funny rock jokes and the best rock puns to crack you up. These jokes about rocks are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of rock dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about rocks, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this rock humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of a stack of rocks with two flowers on it on a blue background.

Rock puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about rocks that are also awesome rock jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. Why did the rock sleep all day? He was a bedrock.
  2. How did the rock feel about going to jail? He was petrified.
  3. How did the rock feel when he got covered in algae? He was lichen it.
  4. You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
  5. Why did the rock shower every morning? He wanted to start with a clean slate.
  1. What did the stone want to be when it grew up? A rock star.
  2. What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake? A sham rock.
  3. Why was the rock unprogressive? Because it was stuck in the Stonehenge.
  4. Why was the rock hesitant to start his work? Because he was stuck in corundum.
  5. What did the rock do when it rolled down the road? It rock ‘n’ rolled.
  1. How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs.
  2. What do you call a criminal rock? Scum of the Earth.
  3. Who is a geologist’s favorite comedian? Chris Rock.
  4. What is a geologist’s favorite treat? Rock candy.
  5. Why did the rock take English lessons? To help it talk boulder.
Cartoon graphic of a rock with a silly face on a blue background.
  1. What did the rock order at the bar? Soda on the rocks.
  2. Did you hear about the drunk geologist? He finally hit rock bottom.
  3. Which rock group is made up of four men who can’t sing? Mount Rushmore.
  4. Why did the rock couple break up? Because they couldn’t comet to each other.
  5. Why was the criminal rock acquitted? Because his alibi was rock solid.
  1. What is a geologist’s favorite type of music? Hard rock.
  2. Which magazine do rocks subscribe to? The Rolling Stone.
  3. Why didn’t the stone get back together with the rock? He had too many faults.
  4. What did Ariel say when she met the rock pool? You have nice mussels.
  5. Why is a moon rock tastier than an earth rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
  1. What is rock’s favorite fruit? A pome-granite.
  2. Why do hipsters like rocks? They’re underground.
  3. Where do you take an injured rock? To the Rocktor.
  4. Why did the judge find the rock guilty? The lawyers had concrete evidence.
  5. Why did the rock decide to hit the gym? Because he wanted to be bigger and boulder.
  1. How do stones get to outer space? By rock-et.
  2. What kind of music sinks to the bottom of the ocean? Heavy rock.
  3. What’s black and white and as hard as a rock? A panda that’s fallen in cement.
  4. What did the young rock say about failing his tests? I don’t want to talc about it.
  5. Why were the rock couple breaking up? Because they took each other for granite.
Cartoon graphic of a quarry with rocks on a blue background.

Rock one liners

Here are some great rock joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about rocks.

  1. My rock collection has so much sedimental value.
  2. Eating a rock is actually good for you. It’s full of minerals.
  3. I may be obsessed with rocks, but that’s my pre-rock-ative.
  4. The new geology teacher hasn’t had it easy. He got off to a rocky start.
  5. Taking about rock puns slowly eroded what was once a good friendship.
  1. I named my pet rock after a wrestler. Stone Called Steve Austin.
  2. As a rock salesman, I’ve had great success with money. Sometimes I take it for granite.
  3. Chuck Norris once hit a huge rock with his golf club. We now call it the Moon.
  4. It’s definitely crystal clear that these puns about rocks are very punny.
  5. Recently, our geology teacher lost a large chunk of schist rock from his office. You should have heard him yelling about someone taking a schist in the lab.
  1. Beach rocks are so cheap because they’re always on shale.
  2. This book about rocks is a fascinating pebble-cation.
  3. I really hate rock puns. My sediments exactly.
  4. My friend started a company that digs rocks and minerals. He’s just mining his own business.
  5. My wife told me she is thinking about selling Egyptian rocks. It sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.
Cartoon graphic of a laughing rock on a blue background.

Best rock jokes

These next funny rock puns are some of our best jokes and puns about rocks!

  1. What do you call small rocks? Mini-rals.
  2. What do rocks use for personal hygiene? Geoderant.
  3. What do you call a rock that complains? A whin-estone.
  4. When were rock puns the funniest? During the stone age.
  5. Why was the sedimentary rock collection so cheap? Because it was on shale.
  1. Why did the rock go to jail? The quartz found him guilty.
  2. What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone.
  3. What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure.
  4. Why isn’t it safe for a rock to marry a piece of paper? Because paper beats rock.
  5. What should you do when you hear a joke about rocks? Take it with a grain of basalt.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about rocks, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

Hi! I'm Che, and I hope you enjoy these jokes as much as me. These jokes lists are curated by me alone. I handpick the jokes for quality, create some myself or add ones that have been contributed by readers like you.

I constantly update Here's A Joke posts to ensure top quality. Not feeling a joke or got one to share? Let me know in the comments or contact me. With your support, I'm aiming for the best joke site around.

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