100 Jokes About Gym

Here are 100 funny gym jokes and the best gym puns to crack you up. These jokes about gyms are great guitar jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of gym dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about gyms, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this gym humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of couple lighting weights on blue background.

Gym puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about gyms that are also awesome gym jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. Why can athletes lift more than prisoners? Because the pros outweigh the cons.
  2. Did you hear about the banana gymnast? She was great at splits.
  3. If the corporate building for a company is called a headquarters, what do you call the gym? Bodybuilding.
  4. Why do teddy bears avoid the gym? They don’t want to get ripped.
  5. Why Google+ is like the gym of social networking? We all join it, but nobody uses it.
  1. Why did the Uber driver cancel his gym membership? Because he didn’t even Lyft, bro.
  2. Why have you never heard of a haunted gym? The ghosts are exercising themselves.
  3. What happened when the personal trainer brought a bear to the gym? His clients got ripped to shreds.
  1. My favorite machine at the gym? The vending machine.
  2. What’s the easiest way to get a six-pack at the gym? Take the beer from your fridge and smuggle it in.
  3. Why am I like a ninja at the gym? Cause you’ll never see me there.
  4. Why did the seafood chef stop going to the gym? He pulled a mussel.
  5. What do you call it when people are gathered around the squat rack talking? Jaw day.
  1. Why doesn’t Waldo go to the gym? Because no one can spot him.
  2. What’s the best gift you can give to a gym addict? A mirror!
  3. What’s the name of Cardi B‘s super-fit gym-focused sisterCardi O.
  4. What’s it called when you refuse to do core workouts? Ab-stinence.
  5. Why did the cheeseburger get a gym membership? He wanted bigger buns.
  1. What happens after Chuck Norris finishes his workout? The gym takes a break.
  2. What’s the exercise you did this month? Running out of money.
  3. Why is the gym the perfect place to find a partner? You’ll find your swole mate.
  4. What dessert describes your girlfriend after a strenuous workout at the gym? Sore Bae.
  5. What does Bigfoot do at the gym? Sasquats.
  1. Why did the rooster keep going to the gym? He was working on his pecks.
  2. What do you call a bodybulider with a sunburn? Flecks Wheeler.
  3. What do you call a guy who loves working out? Jim.
  4. Why do you like going on night runs so much? The added fear of being murdered really does wonders for my cardio.
  5. What happened after the big sea cow joined the gym with the dolphin trainer? She moved with a porpoise.
  1. What did the lazy out-of-shape guy get when he quit going to the gym?  A-trophy.
  2. What do you call a buff Trekkie at the gym? A flextra terrestrial.
  3. How do you find the gym at Hogwarts? Look for the dumbbell door.
  4. Why do cross-fit gyms have chalk? So you can mark where the bodies fall.
  5. Which exercise do they do at a cutlery store? Fork Lifts.
Cartoon graphic of man lighting weights without a shirt on blue background.
  1. What happened to the guy who held a squat for too long? He got hunker pains.
  2. Why was the farmer get kicked out of the gym? He was destroying his calves.
  3. How did the duck get into the gym? I don’t know, but it worked out.
  4. Why did the blind guy go the the gym? He hoped to find a spotter.
  1. Why do you need patience at the gym? Because there is a lot of weighting.
  2. Why is it a good idea to do your workout in the morning? Because you can get it in before your brain wakes up and realizes what it’s doing.
  3. Why was the burglar popular at his gym? Because he always did a great job wiping down his equipment.
  4. What does a pirate do before working out at the gym? Changes in Davy Jones’s locker room.
  1. Where do monkeys go to work out? The jungle gym.
  2. Why did the cheese go to the gym? It wanted to cheddar couple of pounds.
  3. Why did the depressed man start doing bench presses? He had some things he needed to get off his chest.
  4. Did you hear about the pumpkins that went to the gym? They wanted to become jacked-o-lanterns.
  5. What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym? Diddly squat.
  1. Why wasn’t the gym for ants successful? The owners couldn’t seem to get the bugs out.
  2. What is the bodybuilder’s version of cardio? Lifting weights faster.
  3. What exercise do hairdressers do in the gym? Curls.
  4. Why did Charles Darwin start working out? He believed in the survival of the fittest.
  5. Why did they open a gym in hell? So you could exercise your demons.
  1. Why are mathematicians so fit? They’re always working out!
  2. Why did the man get arrested at the gym? He asked someone to check out his guns.
  3. What do you call a Canadian gym? A YMC, eh?
  4. Where do obstetricians exercise? At the OB-GYM.
  1. Why don’t cows skip leg day? Because they care about their calves.
  2. Why couldn’t the man trust his personal trainer? He was always pulling his leg.
  3. What do you call an Astronaut that goes to the gym? Neil ArmStrong.
  4. What do you call a dirty gym? A gym-nation.
  5. What do you call Elon Musk when he’s been to the gym a lot? Muskular.
  1. Why did the bodybuilder read the dictionary? He was trying to learn how to define muscle.
  2. Why did the gym-goer get arrested? She killed her workout.
  3. Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? He didn’t. Yesterday was leg day.
  4. How did the T-Rex feel after its first workout? Dino-sore.
  5. I asked a personal trainer, “Do you need to eat chicken to get muscles?” He said, “No whey!”
Cartoon graphic of girl lighting weights on blue background.

Gym one liners

Here are some great gym jokes one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about gyms.

  1. Honestly, I don’t mind leg day at the gym, it’s just the two days after that I can’t stand.
  2. I once knocked a guy off his bike, I’ve since been banned from that gym.
  3. I asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up. I guess the two of us aren’t going to work out.
  4. A peephole was found in the gym locker rooms. The police are looking into it.
  5. I do multiple sit-ups every morning. I get up, hit snooze, and go back to sleep. Then, repeat the cycle.
  1. I joined a gym 6 months ago and still haven’t lost a pound and tomorrow, I’m heading down there in person to find out what’s going on.
  2. I stopped running on the treadmill, it was going nowhere.
  3. A ghost‘s favorite workout is easy to guess. It is definitely dead lifts.
  4. I just saw real a real idiot at the gym, he put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.
  5. I asked my trainer at the gym if I could start shadow boxing. He said, “Knock yourself out!”
  1. Last time I went to the gym I hopped on the treadmill, but people were looking at me funny so I decided to run instead.
  2. My personal trainer asked why I ran to the restaurant when he said, “time to lunge.” I thought he said it was time for lunch.
  3. I always avoid the gym for the first 3 weeks of the year, which is really no different than what I do on the other 49 weeks.
  4.  I always try to jump rope at the gym, but on most days, I end up skipping it.
  5. I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today, that’s 7 years in a row now.
  1. Sit-ups are the best type of exercise for lazy people, you get to lay down between each one.
  2. If I was a gym instructor at a gym for animals, I would be t-raining cats and dogs.
  3. I signed up for a gym membership, so far, I have lost $200.
  4. I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
  5. The weightlifter didn’t have to pay rent because he was squatting.
Cartoon graphic of man lifting weight with shirt off on blue background.

Best gym jokes

These next funny gym puns are some of our best jokes and puns about gyms!

  1. Did you hear about the pants that just came back from the gym? They were ripped.
  2. Why didn’t the weightlifter have to pay rent? He was squatting.
  3. How flexible are you? I can’t make Tuesdays.
  4. Why don’t you see many haunted gyms? Everyone inside is exorcising.
  5. He went to his local self defense gym and asked  “can take two classes today?” They said, “No, you can taekwondo.”
  1. Why do impatient people hate going to the gym? Because of the weights.
  2. What do you call it when Oxygen and Nitrogen train at the gym together? Air conditioning.
  3. What happened when a personal trainer brought a bear into the gym? His clients really got shredded.
  4. How is the gym like church? No matter what you do all week, you think you can erase it all with one visit.
  5. I joined a gym and said to the trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?” Try the ATM outside.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about gyms, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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