45 Funny Muscle Jokes

Here are 45 funny muscle jokes and the best muscle puns to crack you up. These jokes about muscles are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of muscle dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about muscles, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this muscle humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of a woman showing off her muscles by rolling up her sleeve on a blue background.

Muscle puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about muscles that are also awesome muscle jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. Who was the strongest dictator? Muscle-ini.
  2. What do you call a line of Chevy muscle cars? A Camarow.
  3. What is first prize in a competition to lose muscle mass? A trophy.
  4. Why don’t I drive muscle cars? Because I’m not shellfish.
  5. What did the lips say to the facial muscle? You make me smile.
  1. What’s the most muscled cereal? Cornflex.
  2. What hurts more than a breakup? Muscle cramps.
  3. What’s the strongest muscle on a pig? The hamstring.
  4. Did you hear about the weightlifting vegetable? He was a muscle sprout.
  5. What does the Mandalorian say after he starts a new diet to gain more muscle? This is the whey.
Cartoon graphic of a brain muscle lighting weights on a blue background.
  1. What do you call a cop with a pulled muscle? Pulled pork.
  2. Why did the muscle miss class? Because it wasn’t a-tendon.
  3. Did you hear about the oyster who went to the ball? He pulled a muscle.
  4. What do you call a Jewish bodybuilder that’s a member of the aristocracy? Muscle-Toff.
  5. What the best way to make a muscle contract? Make them sign on the dotted line.
  1. Where does Muscle Milk come from? Muscle mammary.
  2. What do you call a guy with big muscles and small brains? An oxymoron.
  3. What muscle group do you use the most when kidnapping someone? The abductors.
  4. Why did the bodybuilder borrow a dictionary? Because he wanted to know how to define muscle.
  5. What did the policeman shout when he caught seafood thieves red-handed? Nobody move a muscle.
  1. What’s the strongest muscle in your nose? Your finger.
  2. Do you know how I feel about muscle relaxers? I valium.
  3. What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off.
  4. Do you wanna know what makes me smile? Face muscles.
  5. Why did the person with muscle pain put their doctor through a Soda Stream? Because they needed to see a fizzier therapist.
Cartoon graphic of a man in undies with very big upper body muscles and a grey stubble beard on a blue background.

Muscle one liners

Here are some great muscle joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about muscles.

  1. It takes 11 muscles to frown and 12 to smile but 182 to blink.
  2. My first car was a muscle car. Every morning I had to push it to start.
  3. I went to a sea-themed disco the other day. I pulled a muscle.
  4. I wasn’t a big fan of having muscle when I started weightlifting. It’s growing on me though.
  5. I’m taking a course with a focus on muscle fatigue. I don’t want to talk about it. It’s a sore subject.
  1. I never understood why muscles get a trophy.
  2. I pulled a muscle digging for gold. It was just a miner injury.
  3. I have great muscle memory. I totally remember when I was in shape.
  4. A surgeon just removed my son’s cardiac muscle. That’s disheartening.
  5. Is that a new muscle shirt you got the other day. Do the muscles come tomorrow?
Cartoon graphic of a man smiling while showing off his muscles with his shirt off smiling on a blue background.

Best muscle jokes

These next funny muscle puns are some of our best jokes and puns about muscles!

  1. What do you call a muscle-bound bee? Beefy.
  2. How did the skeleton try to build muscle? By doing dead lifts.
  3. What do you call a muscle car that won’t start? All torque, no action.
  4. What did the joint say when asked if it’d be at the Muscle Party? I’m a tendon.
  5. What do we call people who have no preferences about muscle size? They are BiFlexuals.
  1. What’s the most important muscle at the gym? The TRY-cep.
  2. What do you call an Egyptian’s butt muscle? A sphinxster.
  3. What’s a circus performers favorite muscle? A trapezius.
  4. What did the Arab leader drink every day to build muscle mass? A protein sheikh.
  5. Today I learned all about the orbicularis oculi muscles. Quite the eye opener I tell ya.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about muscles, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny anatomy puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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