45 Funny Butt Jokes

Here are 45 funny and cheeky butt jokes to crack you up. From puns that’ll make you snort to jokes that’ll have you laughing your rear off. This collection is a guaranteed good time. If you’ve got any of your own funny jokes to add, comment them below!

Cartoon graphic of a potato standing and laughing with its butt showing on a blue background.

Butt puns

Here is our top list of cheeky butt jokes.

  1. What do you call someone with two butts? Biased.
  2. Which state is a pain in the butt to go to? Prostate.
  3. What did the cannibal do after dumping his partner? Wiped his butt.
  4. What do butt cheeks and butter have in common? Both can be spread.
  5. Did you hear how Thor saved Loki’s butt? With an Asgard.
  1. What do you call a zombie’s butt? A dead end.
  2. What do you call an ox with a big butt? Buttocks.
  3. Why did the person carry a butt into the elevator? To bring up the rear.
  4. What’s common between eyes and butt cheeks? Between both of them, something smells.
  5. Why is it difficult to have a conversation with a goatBecause they always butt in.
Cartoon graphic of a little dog showing its butt and smiling on a blue background.
  1. Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks.
  2. What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson’s butt? You hit rock bottom.
  3. What do you call a reflective surface for your butt? A rear view mirror.
  4. What’s the difference between a wise guy and a butt sniffer? One’s a smart fella, the other is a fart smella.
  5. What’s the last thing to go through the mind of a fly when it hits a windscreen? Its butt.
  1. What’s a more concrete term for butt crack? Asphalt.
  2. What do you call a fat animal with a flat butt? A hipobottomless.
  3. Do you know how much I’ve spent on toilet paper this month? A butt load.
  4. What do you call the fear of spiders crawling up your butt? Arachnoprobia.
  5. What did the smallest butt say after holding back the rest of the group? Sorry, I’m a little behind.
  1. What do you call a magnificent butt? Ass-tounding.
  2. Which holiday gives butts for presents? Christm-ass.
  3. What makes milking parlors smell like butt? It’s all the dairy air.
  4. What did the ashtray say to the cigarette? Nice butt.
  5. What happens if you cut off your right butt cheek? You’re left behind.
Cartoon graphic of a toddler holding his nappy and walking away while naked on a blue background.

Butt one liners

Here are some great butt joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about butts.

  1. I didn’t fart. My butt likes you so much it blew a kiss.
  2. People keep butt-dialing me. It seems like only buttholes want to talk to me.
  3. A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his butt. The doctors described his condition as stable.
  4. My kid got sunburned on only one of their butt cheeks. My wife said I did a half-ass job applying sunscreen.
  5. When you say “poop” your mouth moves the same way your butt does when you poop? The same is true for the phrase “explosive diarrhea”.
  1. Being a scarecrow isn’t for everyone. Butt hay, it’s in my jeans.
  2. I was caught staring at a cute girl’s butt. Harassment a lot to me.
  3. I only trust people who are fond of big butts. They don’t lie.
  4. Scientists have discovered a fossilized dinosaur butt. It must have been a megasaurus to have survived intact all that time.
  5. A group of butts is walking. The smallest struggles to keep up. “Sorry, I’m a little behind.”
Cartoon graphic of a frog standing and turned around so we can see it's sparkling butt on a blue background.

Best butt jokes

These next funny butt puns are some of our best jokes and puns about butts!

  1. What do you call an Egyptian’s butt muscle? A sphinxster.
  2. What do you call a butt massage on one cheek? A half-ass job.
  3. What medicine do you take when your butt hurts? Ass-pirin.
  4. Where does the butt go to make money? It goes to twerk.
  5. If someone is burnt and needs a skin graft, can I donate the skin tissue on my butt? Ass-skin for a friend.
  1. What do you call a ghost’s butt? Boo-ty.
  2. When do butts wake up? At the crack of dawn.
  3. What has two butts and kills people? An assassin.
  4. Why were the butt cheeks stuck? They were glute together.
  5. What do you call it when one butt cheek is bigger than the other? Ass-ymmetrical.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about butts, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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