50 Funny Spider Jokes

Here are 50 funny spider jokes and the best spider puns to crack you up. These jokes about spiders are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of spider dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about spiders, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this spider humor with others.

Cartoon graphic of spider with part hat on blue background.

Spider puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about spiders that are also awesome spider jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What do you call two spiders who just got married? Newlywebs.
  2. What do you call 10 spiders on a tire? A spinning wheel.
  3. Where do spiders play football? At Webley Stadium.
  4. What’s the difference between a spider and a web designer? A spider loves finding bugs in his web.
  5. What do you call a spider that has its left legs on the right side and right legs on the left side? A daddy wrong legs.
  1. What do you call pants made for a German spider? Schpiderhosen.
  2. What do you call a spider without a web? Offline.
  3. What did the procrastinating spider say to the fly? Catch you later.
  4. Why can’t a spider get a job as a pilot? Because they can only tailspin.
  5. Did you hear the spider who ate the fly? He was a real buzz kill.
Cartoon graphic of two black spiders hanging on blue background.
  1. How do spiders communicate? By the World Wide Web.
  2. Why can’t spiders become pilots? They only know how to tailspin.
  3. How do you spot a modern spider? She has a website.
  4. When can you see a spider but not kill it? On its webcast.
  5. Why did the fly fly? Because the spider spy-der.
  1. What do spiders like to do in their spare time? Surf the web.
  2. Why does Spider-Man hate driving with his evil twin? He’s a bad parallel Parker.
  3. Why did the man go on a date with a spider? His wife told him to take it out instead of killing it.
  4. What is it called when someone has an abnormal fear of spiders in raincoats? Anorakaphobia.
  5. What part of a computer does a spider use? The webcam.
  1. What did the spider say to the fly? Pleased to eat you.
  2. Why is Spider-Man so good at comebacks? Because with great power comes great response-ability.
  3. Why did the spider only put one leg out of her bed? She wanted to start the day off on the right foot.
  4. Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin.
  5. What do you get when you cross a spider and an ear of corn? Cobwebs.
Cartoon graphic of green spider with blue background.
  1. Why do spiders adapt so quickly to online learning? They’re very comfortable on the web.
  2. What’s good for spider bites? An angry spider.
  3. What do you call a spider with 16 eyes? A spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider.
  4. What do you call a spider that can dance? A jitterbug.
  5. What’s a spider’s favorite pastime? Fly fishing.
  1. Why are spiders good swimmers? They have webbed feet.
  2. What did the spider wife say to the spider husband when he tried to explain coming home late? You’re spinning me a yarn here.
  3. What did the IT person say to the officer worker who was freaking out over a spider on their keyboard? Don’t worry, I’ve got it under ctrl.
  4. Have you seen the film about an onion that turns into a spider? It’s called Shallot’s Web.
  5. What do you call a giant Irish spider? Paddy long legs.
  1. What do you call an undercover tarantula? A spy-der.
  2. What do spiders do when they get mad? They climb the walls
  3. Why do spiders make clingy roommates? They’re arachneedyads.
  4. What do you call it when a shark, a crocodile, and a giant spider walk into a bar? A typical day in Australia.
  5. When do spiders celebrate Valentine’s Day? Web-uary 14th.

Best spider jokes

These next funny spider puns are some of our best jokes and puns about spiders!

  1. What does the baby spider want to be when it grows up? A web designer.
  2. What do spiders eat in Paris? French flies.
  3. Why did the man return his pair of spider silk trousers? The fly kept getting stuck.
  4. Did you know there is a species of spider that can jump higher than a building? This is due to its eight powerful legs and the fact buildings can’t jump.
  5. What’s another name for the Spider-Man trilogy? A web series.
  1. Did you hear about the spider love triangle? It was a tangled web.
  2. What do you call it when you have too many spiders in your house? A no-fly zone.
  3. What text emojis do spiders use when they are happy? ::::D
  4. How tall is a spider? Eight feet.
  5. Why do spiders spin webs? Because they can’t knit.
Cartoon graphic of black smiling spider on blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about spiders, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny animal jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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