30 Funny Knitting Puns

Here are 30 funny knitting jokes and the best knitting puns to crack you up. These jokes about knitting are great jokes for kids and adults.

Cartoon graphic of a woman in a seat knitting on blue background.

Knitting puns

Here is our top list of knitting dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about knitting, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this knitting humor with others.

  1. How does a knitter travel? By cable car.
  2. What did the knitting pirate buy with his treasure? YAAAARN.
  3. How did the knitter catch the yarn thief? They followed the pattern.
  4. What did they call the mobster who was a really good knitter? Scarf-ace.
  5. Why are Christmas Trees like bad knitters? They keep losing their needle.
  1. Who’s a knitter’s favorite band? Slipknot.
  2. Why wouldn’t the knitter watch the new TV show? It wasn’t on cable.
  3. What do you call a knitting snake? A nanaconda.
  4. What does a knitter get from sitting too long? H-embroids.
  5. What did 50 Cent say to his grandma when he saw her knitting? “Gee U Knit.
Cartoon graphic of a man in a seat knitting on blue background.

Knitting one liners

Here are some great knitting joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about knitting.

  1. I needle to knit today.
  2. A person who can knit their own clothes is knot sub-par by any standard.
  3. Don’t ever get influenced by salespeople that knit. They can really spin a yarn.
  4. It’s easy to thread down the wrong path when you get carried away whilst knitting.
  5. I just watched the World Heavy Metal Knitting Championship in Finland. It was pretty knots.
  1. A day without knitting in pointless.
  2. I always have a ball knitting.
  3. Everything seams better when I’m knitting.
  4. To get good at knitting, you really need to understand the knitty-gritty part of the process.
  5. I got pulled over while driving because I was weaving too much. I told the cop it’s my first time knitting, so I’m pretty slow at it.
Cartoon graphic of a sheep standing and wearing a knitted scarf and beanie on blue background.

Best knitting jokes

These next funny knitting puns are some of our best jokes and puns about knitting!

  1. I’m having a lot of difficulty with knitting. Oops, wrong thread.
  2. Make sure you don’t leave a knitting story in the middle. Otherwise, it will unravel.
  3. Serial killers that knit are easy to find. All you have to do is follow the patterns.
  4. I missed my last two knitting club meeting. I hope when I return I’m not out of the loop.
  5. My friend was having a lot of trouble in her knitting class. So, her professor told her to knit it together.
  1. Knitters don’t make good drivers. They weave a lot.
  2. A woman had to get her knitting needles fixed. They just didn’t seam right.
  3. If you accidentally drop your wool while knitting don’t worry. Knit happens.
  4. I can’t seem to think of any puns related to knitting. I think I have finished all of my material.
  5. My brother couldn’t decide what sweater he wanted to buy. I felt that he was being too knit-picky.
Cartoon graphic of a man knitting on blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about knitting, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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