45 Funny Grandma Jokes

Here are 45 funny grandma jokes and the best grandma puns to crack you up. These jokes about grandmas are great jokes for kids and adults.

Cartoon graphic of a grandma with a yellow hat smiling on a blue background.

Grandma puns

Here is our top list of grandma dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about grandmas, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this grandma humor with others.

  1. What is a grandma sheep called? A baaaa-nana.
  2. What do grandma’s teeth and the stars have in common? They both come out at night.
  3. What do you call a relative who loves spelling and punctuation? Grandma-tically correct.
  4. Why was grandma was so fascinated by the reversible sweater she was knitting? She wanted to see how it turns out.
  5. What made the grandmother unhappy when her grandson became an archaeologist? Because his career lay in ruins.
  1. How did grandma get grandpa to stop biting his nails? She hid his teeth.
  2. Why did grandma throw the watch out of the window? She wanted to see time fly.
  3. Why do grandmas smile all the time? Because they can’t hear a word you’re saying.
  4. What noise does a police car make when grandma gets arrested? Nana-nana-nana-nana.
  5. How did Grandma describe her cataract surgery? It was an eye-opening experience for her.
  1. Why should you always eat your grandmas food? So her plans aren’t foiled.
  2. What advice did grandma pig have for her kids? Don’t take anything for grunted.
  3. Have you heard about the grandma who recently went through brain surgery? She was reluctant at first but later changed her mind.
  4. What did grandpa name the Italian restaurant he started in grandma’s memory? Pasta Way.
  5. Why did grandpa love grandma so much that he called her love, honey, darling even after 60 years of marriage? Because grandpa had forgotten grandma’s name.
Cartoon graphic of a grandma's face winking and smiling on a blue background.

Grandma one liners

Here are some great grandma joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about grandmas.

  1. I told my Grandma to act her age. She passed away.
  2. I like Ouija boards. It’s the only game I can still play with grandma.
  3. My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker. So I told her to roll them tighter.
  4. My gran started walking 5 miles a day at the age of 60. She’s 90 now, and we have no idea where she is.
  5. My late grandma used to hate looking in the mirror. Humble woman, terrible driver.
  1. My grandma was a pastry chef. Old age creped up on her.
  2. Shout-out to my grandma. Because that’s the only way she can hear me.
  3. My grandmother asked me about my long-distance relationship. I told her, so far, so good.
  4. Before our grandma died, her last words were, “Don’t make the funeral too early, I am not a mourning person.”
  5. My grandma told me when she was small the alphabet only had 25 letters. Nobody knew Y.
  1. I keep telling grandma to get a hearing aid. But she won’t listen.
  2. My grandmother retired as a math teacher. She is figuring out the aftermath.
  3. Grandma died because we couldn’t figure out her blood type. At least she told us to be positive.
  4. Grandmas put wheels on their rocking chairs so that they can rock and roll.
  5. I asked my grandma is she had any jokes. She responded that she had six of them, pointing at her six children.
  1. I just put my grandma on speed-dial. I call that Instagram.
  2. I unplugged my grandma’s life support. The moment was really breathtaking.
  3. My grandma’s bedtime is three hours after she falls asleep on the couch.
  4. I tried to get my grandma to go to yoga class yesterday. It was a bit of a stretch.
  5. At my grandma’s funeral there was a bowl of her favorite candy on the table. They were bereave-mints.
Cartoon graphic of a grandma in a chair reading a book to her two grand kids on a blue background.

Best grandma jokes

These next funny grandma puns are some of our best jokes and puns about grandmas!

  1. Why was grandma so angry? She was doing cross stitch.
  2. What did grandma say to the old fountain? You aged well.
  3. Why didn’t grandma enjoy her new stairlift? It was driving her up the wall.
  4. The fastest person I know who bakes cookies is my grandmother. It literally takes her nana-seconds.
  5. I tried to teach my grandma how to eat noodles with chopsticks. But she accidentally made a sweater.
  1. Did you hear my grandma got an award for best grandparent? She won a Grammy.
  2. What did 50 Cent say to his grandma after she gave him a homemade scarf? Gee, You Knit?
  3. What is the similarity between a grandmother and a website? You can’t deny the cookies.
  4. My grandma has this crazy idea about an apple that’s sour and way better than any other apple. But we just call that granny’s myth.
  5. My grandma’s last wish was that we convert her ashes into a diamond. That’s a lot of pressure.
Cartoon graphic of a grandma smiling and holding her grandchild on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about grandmas, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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