Feather you’re a bird lover or just in the mood for a flapping good time, you’re in for a treat! Dive beak-first into this collection of bird puns and jokes. They’re going to have you squawking with laughter.
Funny bird puns
Get ready to talon-t your friends about these clever bird puns! These feathered wordplays are perfect for those who appreciate a good joke.
- What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
- Why did Mozart sell his chickens? Because they kept saying “bach bach”.
- What kind of bird doesn’t need a comb? A bald eagle.
- Where does bird royalty live? Duckingham Palace.
- What kind of bird works at a construction site? The crane.
- What bird is always out of breath? A puffin.
- What does a bird like in his soup? Crowtons.
- What bird movie won an Oscar? Lord of the Wings.
- Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don’t know the words.
- What do you call a crate of ducks? A box of quackers.
- What bird is helpful at dinner? A swallow.
- Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet!
- What’s the most sad bird? The blue jay.
- Why do seagulls like to live by the sea? Because if they lived by the bay they would be bagels.
- What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede? A walkie-talkie!
- What soap do birds use? Dove.
- What do you call a sick eagle that commits crimes? Ill eagle.
- Where do birds invest their money? In the stork market.
- Which birds steal soap from the bath? Robber ducks.
- What is green and pecks on trees? Woody the Wood Pickle.
- What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework? A firequaker.
- What is a parrot’s favorite game? Hide and Speak.
- What books did the owl like? Hoot-dunits.
- What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.
- How do chickens get strong? Egg-cersize.
- What do you call a bird that kicks your butt? Steven Seagull.
- Why couldn’t anyone see the bird? Because it was in da skies.
- Why does a flamingo lift up one leg? Because if it lifted both legs it would fall over.
- Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it’s too far to walk.
- What do you call a clever duck? A wise quacker!
- How do bird’s across the country communicate? By long-distance caw.
- Why do birds watch the news? To check the feather forecast.
- Why did the hawks sit on the churches? Because they’re birds of prey!
- Why are birds bad cooks? Everything they make is fowl.
Bird one liners
Here are some great bird joke one-liners you can quip whenever someone talks about birds. Short, tweet, and straight to the point!
- The bank was robbed mysteriously last night, and all that was left behind were feathers. The police suspect fowl play.
- Did you hear about the pelican who ordered all that food at the restaurant? He had a very big bill.
- A bird saved all its money in a bowl made of sticks. It had a nest egg.
- The ducks weren’t happy when the council banned feeding them. There were a lot of angry birds.
- A pigeon and a tropical bird were playing on the computer. The pigeon lost. Toucan play that game.
- If Donald throws a ball at you, you should Duck.
- My pet owl will soon turn 180. He’s not an old bird, he just has a bad neck.
- Eagles are the best tour guides. They’ve always got a bird’s eye view.
- A scientist wanted the day to go faster, so he tied a clock to a bird. Time flew for a moment.
- A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for some chapstick. The cashier asks, “Will that be cash or check?” The duck replies, “Just put it on my bill!”
Funny bird jokes
From parrots to eagles, these bird jokes will ruffle some funny feathers!
- How do crows stick together in a flock? Velcrow.
- What do you call a parrot that flew away? A polygon.
- What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.
- How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely? With its sparrowchute.
- Why did the little bird get in trouble at school? Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
- When should you buy a bird? When it’s going cheep at the grocery store.
- What do you call a funny bird? A comedi-hen
- How many cans does it take to make a bird? Two cans.
- What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish? Tweetie Pie
- When does a teacher carry birdseed? When there is a parrot-teacher conference.
- How long do birds of prey stay up for? Owl night Iong.
- Did you hear about the duck in prison? He’s a jail-bird
- How do you organize a bird party? You wing it!
- Why was the grumpy owl so grumpy? He had irritable owl syndrome.
- What kind of math do snowy owls like? Owlgebra
That wraps up these hilarious bird puns! Do you have a bird joke to share? Chirp it to the comment section so all our bird pun fans can read ’em!
If you want to hear more of the best animal jokes, then check out these other great lists: