100 Funny Construction Jokes

Here are 100 funny construction jokes and the best construction puns to crack you up. These jokes about construction are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of construction dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about construction, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this construction humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of apartment building being built on blue background.

Construction puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about elephants that are also awesome elephants jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. Why did the builder shy away from making construction jokes? Because the joke still needed some work.
  2. While constructing a house, which building has the least weight? Definitely a lighthouse.
  3. Why was the worker sad when a newly constructed window broke? Because it was very pane-ful for the worker.
  4. Why are windows known to not laugh at any jokes? Because they don’t really like cracking up.
  1. What did the happy construction worker like attaching steel pipes with one another? Because she found that the work was very riveting.
  2. What did the assistant do when the head constructor asked him to join two pieces of wooden logs together? He simply nailed it.
  3. What did I do when my wife said that she loved heavy metal music? I simply took her to visit a construction site.
  4. How did the nosy roofer end up doing such a bad job on-site? He couldn’t stop eavesdropping
  5. Why do engineers enjoy fixing steelwork together? Because it’s riveting.
  1. How can you tell a construction worker from a chemist? You ask him to pronounce “Unionized.”
  2. Did you go to the construction party? We raised the roof.
  3. Why did I choose construction as a career? I find construction work to be riveting.
  1. What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal, a house can’t jump.
  2. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
  3. What area of a room is the warmest? The corner, it’s always about 90 degrees.
  4. What does a carpenter have in common with a volleyball player? They both like to hammer spikes.
  5. Why does a hammer remain upset all the time? Because he gets hammered every day.
  1. What did the constructor owner say when he realized that his workers were stealing things from the site? “I can’t believe I missed it, but the signs were pretty clear”.
  2. Which animals can be good construction workers? Dogs. They are good at roofing.
  3. What does one feel when they see a lot of lame construction jokes? It makes them very board.
  4. Why do construction workers make bad bartenders? When you order a stiff drink, they bring you a glass full of cement.
  1. What did one wall say to the other wall? Meet you at the corner.
  2. Did you hear the joke about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head!
  3. What music do builders love listening to? The Carpenters.
  4. Why is Christmas day just like a day at a construction site? You end up doing all the work and some big guy in a suit takes all the credit.
  1. What can you call a snake that loves building houses? You call it a boa constructor.
  2. How does one construct a road at the artic pole? One must use snow cones.
  3. Why did the painter come to work wearing two jackets on a sunny day? Because the head constructor advised him to always put two coats.
  4. Why are drills always upset for not having any friends at all? Because drills are very boring.
  5. Did you hear about the carpenter who only measured floors losing his construction job? I heard he got fired because he never measured up.
Cartoon graphic of worker digging with spade on blue background.
  1. Why is a construction worker usually known to put his fingers in blue colored paint? Because he wants to check the blueprint!
  2. How do construction workers usually party? They are always known for raising the roof!
  3. What does a reptile carpenter in the Jurassic age use for cutting wood? He probably used a dino-saw!
  4. Have you heard about the miracle that happened to a blind construction worker? One day he just picked up a plank of wood and saw.
  5. What do you call Bob the builder after he retires? Bob.
  1. What kind of bird works on a construction site? A crane.
  2. What is the tallest building in the city? The library, because it has the most stories.
  3. What do you call a landscaper’s bank account? A hedge fund.
  4. How many construction workers does it take to do a single job? As many as it takes to surround one laborer.
  5. Where did the construction birds go after a long day’s work? The crow-bar.
  1. What do you call spiderman after he lost his powers, but still jumps from building to building? Peter Parkour.
  2. What’s the difference between a magnet and a construction site? A construction site has more poles.
  3. What is the best advice one can give to someone to overcome difficulties? Always be the hammer, and you will see your problems becoming the nails.
  4. Why did the construction worker dip his finger in blue ink? To get a blueprint.
  5. If the corporate building for a company is called a headquarters, what do you call the gym? Bodybuilding.
  1. How did the cow manage to fix the hole in side of the boat? Bulwark
  2. What did they say about the artist who completed suicide by jumping off a building? Well, at least they finally made an impact on the world.
  3. What do construction workers and cheating spouses have in common? They’re both home wreckers
  4. What do you call a rude landscaper? A grasshole.
  5. Which room is the easiest to install windows in, regardless of it’s position in the building? A server room.
Cartoon graphic of house framing on blue background.

Construction one liners

Here are some great construction joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about construction.

  1. A group of people walk into a building. You would think at least one would have seen it.
  2. I was going to start off with a great joke about carpentry, but I wasn’t sure if it wood work.
  3. They hired a comedian at the local construction site. Everyone loves him. You could say he was really nailing it.
  4. How many safety inspectors does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to hold the ladder.
  5. My best friend rewired an elevator in our building so it would always display the wrong floor… I told him it was wrong on so many levels.
  1. Yesterday, the cement-mixer was used for the first time. The results were pretty concrete.
  2. The wasted concrete slabs are buried under the ground. We call the place a cemetery.
  3. I finally managed to do some carpentry today and I’m so proud of myshelf.
  4. Recently, I decided to quit my job at the construction place because I couldn’t deal with the heavy lifting. I gave them my too weak notice yesterday.
  5. I’m working on a joke about road construction. Give me a few months to lay it all out.
  1. A construction worker decided to go to a bar for a few drinks. He got hammered.
  2. I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest so I went as a plane, it didn’t fly to well with people.
  3. I dreamt I was a muffler last night. Today I woke up exhausted
  4. A group of escaped prisoners fell into some concrete as part of their getaway. Police are looking for hardened criminals.
  5. Some friends of mine won’t believe me that I can make cement, they’ve asked for concrete evidence.
  1. The thief was caught due to the help of the carpenter. They say the carpenter saw everything.
  2. I’ve got another friend who drives a steamroller. He’s such a flatterer.
  3. Marble is a valuable building material and should not be taken for granite.
  4. I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it. It’s true, I saw it with my own eyes.
  5. Saw an argument between a carpenter and a hairdresser. They were going at it hammer and tongs.
  1. My cow saves every scrap of usable material. He’s recyclebull.
  2. Best part of hammering out construction puns, even when the punchline is screwy, you can still nail it.
  3. I can see all these construction puns got you pretty board.
  4. There’s nothing here, only saw dust.
  5. People are often shocked when they find out what a bad electrician I am.
  1. I was offered a construction job in Egypt this morning. Turned out to be a pyramid scheme.
  2. I’m working on a joke about road construction. Give me a few months to lay it all out.
  3. My boss gave me the task of attaching 2 pieces of wood together. I nailed it.
  4. I was going to tell a joke about carpentry. But I didn’t think it wood work.
  5. Construction worker discharged after accusation of murder. There was no concrete evidence.
  1. My dad encouraged me to take a job on a highway construction crew. But I decided not to go down that road.
  2. I didn’t know my dad was a construction site thief, but when I got home all the signs were there.
  3. The size of the wildlife at construction sites is huge. I mean, just look at the size of those cranes.
  4. I’ll be your PPE because I’ll always protect your heart.
  5. The road to success is always under construction.
Cartoon graphic of builder holding plank of wood and hammer on blue background.

Best construction jokes

These next funny construction puns are some of our best jokes and puns about construction!

  1. What nails do carpenters hate hammering? Fingernails.
  2. What does a house wear? Address.
  3. My friend thought he made a good construction joke. Unfortunately, there was absolutely no build up.
  4. How do you confuse a construction worker? Put a spade and a shovel in the corner, then tell him to take his pick.
  5. Why was the builder so short? Because he had been contracting for a long time.
  1. Do you want to hear a roof joke? It’s on the house.
  2. Out of all the modern construction tools, I think the shovel is the most groundbreaking.
  3. What do you call a fear of overly engineered buildings? A complex complex complex.
  4. Why was the concreter discharged after being accused of murder? There was no concrete evidence.
  5. Wanna hear a construction joke? Sorry, my subcontractors are still working on it, we’re behind schedule, my credit line and bank facilities won’t get approved because my auditor won’t release an audit report. It’s a mess.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about construction, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny occupation jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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