70 Jokes About Drinks

Here are 70 funny drink jokes and the best drink puns to crack you up. These jokes about drinks are great drink jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of drink dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about drinks, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this drink humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of dancing cup with straw on blue background.

Drink puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about drinks that are also awesome drink jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What day should you drink water? Thirstday.
  2. What is a boxer’s favorite drink? Fruit punch.
  3. H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4? Drinking.
  4. What do you drink if you’re thirsty in dance class? Tap water.
  5. How do vampires take their coffee? Decoffinated.
  1. What do elephants drink on vacation? Peanut coladas.
  2. What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together? Avocabros.
  3. Where did the taco go for drinks? The Salad Bar.
  4. What’s a koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala.
  5. Why don’t snakes drink coffee? Because it makes them viperactive.
  1. What is an army members top drink? WARter.
  2. How do you ask a dinosaur if he wants a drink? Tea, Rex?
  3. What is a cow’s favorite drink? Mountain Moo.
  4. What type of tea do you drink with the queen of England? Royal-tea.
  5. Why should you go drinking with neutrons? Wherever they go, there’s no charge.
  1. What is an astronaut’s drink in space? Gravi-tea.
  2. What do frogs drink in winter? Hot croak-co
  3. What is a frog’s favorite drink? Croaka-cola.
  4. What do you call scientists who love to study gas laws by drinking soda? Fizz-icists.
  5. What is the name of the condition for someone that can’t stop drinking holiday beverages? A mint condition.
Cartoon graphic of boy drinking milk on blue background.
  1. How does a tech guy drink coffee? He installs Java.
  2. How do penguins drink? Out of beak-ers.
  3. What do British fish drink? Salt-Tea.
  4. What is the mermaid’s favorite drink? A mertini.
  5. Did you hear about the cactus that went to the party? He spiked the drinks.
  1. What’s an owl’s favorite drink? Hoot beer.
  2. What does Elsa drink? Iced coffee.
  3. What’s a drinking worm’s favorite book? Tequila Mockingbird.
  4. How did the turkey drink wine on Thanksgiving? With a gobble-let.
  5. What do trees drink? Root Beer.
  1. What does s a man in a hurry like to drink? Mango juice.
  2. What do lobsters drink in the morning? Claw-fee.
  3. Why didn’t the alpaca want coffee? He only drinks llamanade.
  4. Why are married couples afraid of drinking lattes together? Because it can lead to grounds for divorce.
  5. Why couldn’t the gold digger buy his girlfriend a drink? Because he was a miner.
  1. What kind of tea do football players drink? Penal-tea.
  2. hat kind drink does a goat have after playing football? Goat-arade.
  3. When do ghosts drink coffee? In the moaning.
  4. How does a scarecrow drink his juice? With a straw.
  5. Why do construction workers make bad bartenders? When you order a stiff drink, they bring you a glass full of cement.
Cartoon graphic of a smiling drop of water holding a glass of water on blue background.

Drink one liners

Here are some great drink joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about drinks.

  1. I finally stopped drinking for good. Now I purely drink for evil.
  2. Before I drink a dangerous coffee, I like to have safe tea first.
  3. I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
  4. If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, then does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?
  5. A nucleus walked into a bar, he asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
  1. I put a couple of ts into my beer last night. It made it ‘better’.
  2. I went to buy six cans of sprite the other day and realized I’d picked 7Up.
  3. Every time I take a drink from a bottle, it keeps pouring back. Must be spring water.
  4. I’m not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, but I already have one.
  5. A man walks into a bar with a jump lead. Barman says “you can have a beer but don’t start anything”.
  1. Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problems.
  2. A camel can work all week without drinking. A man can drink all week without working.
  3. Patient: I get a sharp pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. Nurse: Take the spoon out first.
  4. A train track and a motorway walk into a bar for a drink. The train track says “a pint for me, please, and one for the road”.
  5. A cookie rolls into a bar and asks for something to drink. The bartender says, “Sorry, we do not serve food.”
  1. When lego Minifigures play sports, they drink e-lego-lytes for hydration.
  2. I was drinking my milkshake on a cliff and thought to myself, wow, this is ledge ‘n dairy.
  3. Is that a moustache, or did your eyebrows come down for a drink?
  4. If you want to quench your thirst while on a hike, drink Mountain Dew.
  5. A construction worker decided to go to a bar for a few drinks. He got hammered.
Cartoon graphic of dancing cup with straw on blue background.

Best drink jokes

These next funny drink puns are some of our best jokes and puns about drinks!

  1. What does a ghost drink? Booze.
  2. What do vampires drink when they are on a diet? Blood light.
  3. What drink do pirate’s prefer even more than rum? Port.
  4. What should you order if you just want a small drink? A marteenie.
  5. Why don’t anarchists drink Earl Grey? The believe proper tea is theft.
  1. What does an invisible man drink? Evaporated milk.
  2. What is Thor’s favorite thing to have with his drink? Just-ice.
  3. What do you call a moose who can’t stop drinking? An elkoholic.
  4. What did the man say while he was drinking the blood of a vampire? Hmm, irony.
  5. What are the two reasons you should refrain from drinking toilet water? Number one, and number two.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about drinks, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny food jokes, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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