Here are 60 funny fish jokes and the best fish puns to crack you up. These jokes about fish are great fish jokes for kids and adults.
Here is our top list of fish dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about fish, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this fish humor with others.
Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about fish that are also awesome fish jokes for adults and kids to be told!
- What kind of fish only comes out at night? A starfish.
- Why is fishing such good business? The net profits.
- What’s the fastest fish in a lake? A motor-Pike.
- Where do fish go to borrow money? A loan-shark.
- What did one fish say to the other? Keep your mouth shut and you won’t get caught.
- How did the mollusk get into college? On a scallopship.
- What do you call a crayfish with a messy room? A slobster
- What did a shark eat with its peanut butter sandwich? A jellyfish.
- How do shellfish get to the hospital? In a clambulance.
- Why did the fish get bad grades? Because it was below sea level.
- What do fish use for money? Sand dollars!
- How did the guppies get to the hospital? In a clambulance.
- What did the shark say after eating a clownfish? That tasted a little bit funny.
- What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air? A seahorse
- Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because they have their own scales.
- Where does a fish keep its money? A riverbank.
- What do you call a fish with lots of money? A goldfish.
- What kind of music should you listen to while fishing? Something with a good tune-a!
- What do you call a fish with two legs? A two-knee fish.
- Where do fishermen go to get their hair cut? The bobber shop.
- Where do you find a fish in orbit? Trouter space.
- Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
- What is the easiest way to catch a fish? Have someone throw it to you.
- Why did the dog jump from the boat into the ocean? He thought he saw a catfish.
- What type of music should you listen to whilst fishing? Something catchy.
- What do fish take to stay healthy? Vitamin Sea.
- Why don’t fish like basketball? Because they’re afraid of the net.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish.
- How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? One, but you should have seen the bulb, it was THIS big.
- What is a pirate’s favorite fish? A swordfish.
- What kind of fish eats mice? A catfish.
- How many tickles will it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
- What do you call a fish that practices medicine? A Sturgeon.
- What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant? Swimming trunks.
- What kind of guitar do fish play? Bass
- What do you call a group of singing fish? A choral reef.
- Why aren’t there every any job openings at the fish company? They’ve been scaling back.
- What do you call a man and a woman who own a fishing store? Rod and Annette.
- Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt? Now he’s a bronze fish.
Fish one liners
Here are some great fish joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about fish.
- I have always admired fishermen. They are reel men.
- So I started this new underwater band-project. I hope you guys like aquapella.
- There was a sale today at the fish market. I went to see what the catch was.
- There was a massive fight today at the fish restaurant. One fish got battered!
- The only thing I can take seriously in the newspapers nowadays is fish and chips and even that I take with a pinch of salt.
- I’m sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.
- Two fish swam into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says “Dam!”
- I am alive without breath and cold as death. I am never thirsty but always drinking. What am I? Fish.
- A little fish walks into a bar. The bartender asks the fish “What can I get you?” The little fish replies (gasping) “Water! I need water!”
- Game warden: Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son? Boy: I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim.
Best fish jokes
These next funny fish puns are some of our best jokes and puns about fish!
- How do you talk to a fish? You drop it a line.
- What do most male fish want? A gillfriend.
- What did the fish get on his math test? A sea plus.
- How do fish go into business? They start on a small scale.
- What did the goldfish say when he got his house cleaned? Tank poo.
- Where do fish keep their money? In their octopurse.
- What do whales have for dinner? They eat fish and ships.
- What do you call a fish that is not smart? A dumb bass.
- How did the oyster manage to hide from the fish? Clamouflage.
- Did you hear about the fish that went to the gym? He pulled a muscle
After reading through all these hilarious jokes about fish, we hope you had a good laugh.
If you want to hear more funny animal puns then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: