20 Funny Army Puns

Here is a collection of army puns and jokes that’ll march right into your sense of humor.

A cartoon graphic of 3 laughing army personal on a blue background.

Army Puns

I’ve enlisted these army puns in hopes that they’ll command a smile and maybe even a salute of laughter from you.

  1. What month do all troops hate? March.
  2. What is an army members top drink? WARter.
  3. What military branch loves horses? The Nay-vy.
  4. What was the name of the worm army? The Apple Corps.
  5. What do you get when you squish an army? A flat major.
  1. How is an ear of corn like an army?  Both have lots of kernels.
  2. What did the mint army need? Reinforce-mints and arma-mints.
  3. Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy’s base.
  4. What do you call an Army Commander who is covered in pepper? A seasoned veteran.
  5. Did you hear about the avocado army that invaded a dining tableThey gua-ccupied the bowl.
A cartoon graphic of 3 army personal smiling on a blue background.

Army One Liners

I’ve strategically curated this selection of army one-liners, aiming to capture some chuckles and brighten your day.

  1. The Swiss Army uses Chuck Norris Knives.
  2. I sent my baby off to the army and they put him in the infantry.
  3. My grandfather was a baker in the army. He went in all buns glazing.
  4. People who wear sleeveless shirts in the Army defend their right to bare arms.
  5. There was once a medieval horse that joined the Army. Everyone called it a knight-mare.
A cartoon graphic of a female army officer saluting on a blue background.

Best Army Jokes

Here are the best jokes about the army. Let me know in the comments if you agree or if you have a favorite joke you think should make this list!

  1. What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
  2. Why couldn’t the Minecraft player join the army? He was a miner.
  3. What happened to the handy man when he lost his hands? He became an army man.
  4. I’m trying to find out what the lowest rank in the army is. But everyone keeps saying it’s private.
  5. A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the army. The octopus says, “No thanks, I’m army enough as it is.”
A cartoon graphic of lots of army people standing fora picture on a blue background.

Final Thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about the army, I hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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