Here is a collection of beard puns and jokes that’ll whisker you away into a world of laughter.
I’ve combed through countless jokes to bring you these beard puns, hoping they’ll grow on you and bring a smile to your face.
- What should you do if you can’t afford to trim your beard? Hold a fund-razor.
- Where are bearded prisoners sent? The Gilette-ine.
- What sort of hair does a nut have? A mustachio.
- Why didn’t the barber ask the question about beards? He was shaving it for later.
- Why did the princess marry the prince with the beard? She wanted a hairy-tale ending.
- Why did the burglar shave? He wanted to be a smooth criminal.
- Why did the man sue the barber for touching his beard? He saw it as hairassment.
- Where can you go to get your beard trimmed while eating food? A barber-que.
- Why did the man with a receding hairline decide to grow his beard? He was trying to plan a head.
- What do you call a person who shaves 20 times a day and still ends the day with a beard? A barber.
Beard One Liners
I’ve trimmed and tailored this selection of beard one-liners, hoping they sprout some laughter in your day.
- I almost cut off my beard today, that was a close shave.
- Dear Disney, why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
- Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
- I used to hate my beard, but then it grew on me.
- If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
Best Beard Jokes
Here are the best jokes about beards. Let me know in the comments if you agree or if you have a favorite joke you think should make this list!
- What sort of insult do men with beards give? Side burns.
- Dad, there’s a man at the door with a beard. Tell him I already have one.
- My friend and I are in a beard growing contest. Right now it’s neck and neck.
- What did the beard say after growing back on the man’s face? I’ve been hair before.
- They wanted to put Chuck Norris on mount Rushmore. But the granite wasn’t hard enough for his beard – (This is Chuck Norris’ favorite Chuck Norris joke by the way).
After reading through all these hilarious jokes about beards, I hope you had a good laugh.
If you want to hear more funny puns then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: