20 Funny Beard Puns

Here is a collection of beard puns and jokes that’ll whisker you away into a world of laughter.

A cartoon graphic of a man with a fancy, elaborately styled beard on a blue background.

Beard Puns

I’ve combed through countless jokes to bring you these beard puns, hoping they’ll grow on you and bring a smile to your face.

  1. What should you do if you can’t afford to trim your beard? Hold a fund-razor.
  2. Where are bearded prisoners sent? The Gilette-ine.
  3. What sort of hair does a nut have? A mustachio.
  4. Why didn’t the barber ask the question about beards? He was shaving it for later.
  5. Why did the princess marry the prince with the beard? She wanted a hairy-tale ending.
  1. Why did the burglar shave? He wanted to be a smooth criminal.
  2. Why did the man sue the barber for touching his beard? He saw it as hairassment.
  3. Where can you go to get your beard trimmed while eating food? A barber-que.
  4. Why did the man with a receding hairline decide to grow his beard? He was trying to plan a head.
  5. What do you call a person who shaves 20 times a day and still ends the day with a beard? A barber.
A cartoon graphic of an old Chinese man in a robe with a very long white beard on a blue background.

Beard One Liners

I’ve trimmed and tailored this selection of beard one-liners, hoping they sprout some laughter in your day.

  1. I almost cut off my beard today, that was a close shave.
  2. Dear Disney, why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
  3. Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
  4. I used to hate my beard, but then it grew on me.
  5. If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
A cartoon graphic of a baby with a beard on a blue background.

Best Beard Jokes

Here are the best jokes about beards. Let me know in the comments if you agree or if you have a favorite joke you think should make this list!

  1. What sort of insult do men with beards give? Side burns.
  2. Dad, there’s a man at the door with a beard. Tell him I already have one.
  3. My friend and I are in a beard growing contest. Right now it’s neck and neck.
  4. What did the beard say after growing back on the man’s face? I’ve been hair before.
  5. They wanted to put Chuck Norris on mount Rushmore. But the granite wasn’t hard enough for his beard – (This is Chuck Norris’ favorite Chuck Norris joke by the way).
A cartoon graphic of a man with a full beard on a blue background.

Final Thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about beards, I hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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