80 Funny Geology Jokes

Here are 80 funny geology jokes and the best geology puns to crack you up. These jokes about geology are great geology jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of geology dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about geology, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this geology humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of three kids looking at rocks and leaves through magnifying glasses on blue background.

Geology puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about geology that are also awesome geology jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. Are you looking for rock jokes? Let’s see what we can dig up.
  2. How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs.
  3. Where do geologists study? At sedimentary school.
  4. What did the motivational speaker say? Don’t take life for granite.
  5. What did the volcano say to his wife? I lava you.
  1. What did the rock say to the word processor? Boulder
  2. How did the geologist get so good at the dance floor? She knew the tectonic shuffle.
  3. Why shouldn’t you let a geologist drive your car? Because they get hammered and stoned.
  4. Why did the geologist take her friends to the quarry for a geologists’ outing? She wanted them to be boulder.
  5. Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail? He was charged with basalt and battery.
  1. Why are geologists no fun at parties? They like to be stone-cold sober.
  2. What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure.
  3. What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
  4. Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t anyone’s fault, there was just too much friction between them.
  5. What did other rocks call the sandstone who thinks it’s a volcanic rock? A siliclastic.
  1. Why did the rock shower every morning? He wanted to start with a clean slate. 
  2. What weapon can you make from potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.
  3. Which rock group is made up of four men who can’t sing? Mount Rushmore.
  4. Why did the geologist take her boyfriend to the quarry? She wanted to get a little boulder.
  5. Why isn’t it safe for a rock to marry a piece of paper? Because paper beats rock.
  1. Why are rocks hipsters? Because they were magma before they were cool.
  2. Why are geologists great dates? They can make your bedrock.
  3. What type of fruit includes Barium and two Sodium? BaNaNa.
  4. Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap? Because it was on shale.
  5. Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt, and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Cartoon graphic of pickaxe and diamond on blue background.
  1. If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing, and swimming.
  2. What do you do with dead geologists? You barium.
  3. What is the best part about being a Geologist? Your coworkers are down to earth.
  4. How did the rock feel when he got covered in algae? He was lichen it.
  5. Is it true that all rock stars get along? Maybe, but I guess nobody really wants to start a quarry.
  1. Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
  2. How did the geologist develop a career as a sink-hole expert? She just fell into it.
  3. Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks.
  4. What do geologists do when they find an empty cup? Phyllite.
  5. What do you call a can of soda found in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
  1. Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book on Helium? She just couldn’t put it down.
  2. Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who quit? She really needed a change.
  3. What do geologists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
  4. What did the rock say after it failed its driving test? I don’t want to talc about it.
  5. What did the psychologist tell the geologist? Every decline is a great breakthrough.
  1. Did you hear about the geologists who stopped talking to each other? Their relationship eroded slowly over time
  2. Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
  3. Why do geologists make great boyfriendsBecause they’re so sedimental.
  4. If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
  5. What’s the difference between a geologist and Dwayne Johnson conducting an experiment? One is a rock scientist and the other is The Rock, scientist.
  1. Why did the volcano sit around all day instead of getting a job? He was inactive.
  2. Did you see the geologist towing a crate of rocks behind his car? He had a wide lode sign.
  3. What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone.
  4. What do geologists say when they’re getting ready for commitment? It’s all ore nothing.
  5. Why wasn’t the geologist hungry? She lost her apatite.
Cartoon graphic of earth with a quarter of it showing its core on blue background.

Geology one liners

Here are some great geology jokes one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about geology.

  1. I don’t like being called a geologist. I prefer the term rock-star.
  2. The geologist was found guilty in a quartz of law.
  3. While in college I got degrees in geology and astronomy. I’m trying to become a rock star.
  4. Never expect perfection from geologists. They all have their faults.
  5. I’m going to look for gems this weekend, and I may need your assi-stones.
  1. If you want to study geology, you need to be a little boulder.
  2. The new geology teacher hasn’t had it easy. She got off to a rocky start.
  3. Geologists don’t wrinkle, they show lineation.
  4. If you tell a geologist a mountain pun, they won’t ever get over it.
  5. Geology rocks, but Geography is where it’s at.
  1. A rock that won’t go to school is a skipping stone.
  2. Geology is not rocket science. In fact, it’s rock science.
  3. I love the beach. You could even say I was a pebble person.
  4. Geologists are usually hipsters. They are only into underground stuff.
  5. Recently, our geology teacher lost a large chunk of schist rock from his office. You should have heard him yelling about someone taking a schist in the lab.
  1. I liked carbon before it was coal.
  2. Kiss a geologist and feel the earthquake.
  3. If your favorite band isn’t the Rolling Stones, then you’re not a real geologist.
  4. There’s no halfway with a geologist, it is all ore nothing.
  5. Mountains aren’t funny, they’re hill-areas.
Cartoon graphic of boy looking at a rock with magnifying glass on blue background.

Best geology jokes

These next funny geology puns are some of our best jokes and puns about geology!

  1. Why is it hard to be a diamond? Too much pressure.
  2. What’s a geologist’s favorite ice cream? Rock erode.
  3. Why won’t minerals ever tell lies? They’re always in their pure form.
  4. Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry? He wanted to be a little boulder.
  5. What did the vampire say to the geologist? Albite.
  1. What did the geologist say after her date? Hematype.
  2. Why are geologists never picky in relationships? Because they will date anything.
  3. What do rocks eat? Pom-a-granites.
  4. What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing silly, minerals do not talc.
  5. What did the stone say when he ended up at the bottom of the hill? That’s how I roll.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about geology, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny occupation puns then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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