Here are 45 funny beauty jokes and the best beauty puns to crack you up. These jokes about beauties are great jokes for kids and adults.
Here is our top list of beauty dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about beauty, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this beauty humor with others.
- Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
- Did you see the beautiful juggling woman at the circus? She was pretty in tents.
- What did the man give Beauty when she reached the Beast’s castle? A rose with a sharp warning.
- What profession gives people the most beautiful eyes? Beekeepers, because beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
- What award did Gaston of Beauty and The Beast won? The No Belle prize.
- Where is everyone beautiful? In the dark.
- What is the most beautiful pie? A pumpkin pie, since it is gourd-geous.
- Are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium? You must be because you are BeAuTi-ful.
- Did you hear about the world’s most beautiful tree? It has a great fig-ure.
- My uncle died drinking furniture polish. It was a slow death but a beautiful finish.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Oh wait these are wasps.
- What did the volcano say to his beautiful wife? I lava you.
- What did the poor man do with his beautiful water painting? He pond it.
- Why did the nuclear waste worker enter the beauty pageant? Because he was glowing.
- What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter? The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.
- Did you hear the story about the peacock? It’s a beautiful tale.
- Did you hear about the girl monster who wasn’t pretty and wasn’t ugly? She was pretty ugly.
- What’s a bee’s favorite Disney movie? Beauty And The Bees.
- Why did Sleeping Beauty go to jail? She was under a rest.
- How did the female dragon win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show.
Beauty one liners
Here are some great beauty joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about beauty.
- My boyfriend thinks I’m beautiful. Well they do say that love is blind.
- People keep telling me I’m beautiful. What vivid imaginations some people have.
- I have inner beauty and the colonoscopy video to prove it.
- When I see stars I think of you. Because you’re only beautiful from a distance.
- Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance? Man: It did for a while, then it fell off.
- My cat got 10/10 points at a beauty contest. Purrfection.
- Some people think guns are beautiful. I think tasers are stunning.
- I met a beautiful woman in the museum in Paris. I think I’m in Louvre.
- I am a judge for peanut beauty pageants. My job is pretty nuts.
- My wife doesn’t need makeup to look beautiful. She needs a team of surgeons.
- If I freeze, it’s not a computer virus. I was just stunned by your beauty.
- You’re like a cloud. When you go away, its a beautiful day.
- I met this really beautiful crustacean. But I lobst her number.
- Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don’t want to take them for granite.
- I was convinced to over pay for a beautiful bonsai tree today. What a sap.
Best beauty jokes
These next funny beauty puns are some of our best jokes and puns about beauty!
- Words can’t describe how beautiful you are. But numbers can. 2/10.
- What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a banjo player? A tattoo.
- The natural beauty of Mt Rushmore, before it was carved. Was unpresidented.
- An old teacher asked her student, “If I say, ‘I am beautiful,’ which tense is that?” The student replied, “It is obviously past.”
- I joined a gym and said to the trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?” Try the ATM outside.
- What did the salt say to his girlfriend? Wow, you’re so-dium beautiful.
- I married a beautiful woman, a smart one too. Hopefully they’ll never meet.
- What shows the beauties of the world, but when you look at it, it shows the horrors? A mirror.
- Why did the beauty company add rice to their face masks? To make them easier to Pilaf.
- Why do the clothes in Beauty and the Beast look so old-fashioned? Tailors old as time.
After reading through all these hilarious jokes about beauty, we hope you had a good laugh.
If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: