100 Jokes About Gold

Here are 100 funny gold jokes and the best gold puns to crack you up. These jokes about gold are great gold jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of gold dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about gold, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this gold humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of man jumping on gold and money on blue background.

Gold puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about gold that are also awesome gold jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What did the mummy do when he needed help moving his gold? He hired-a-glyphics.
  2. What do you call a calm piece of gold? Mellow yellow.
  3. Why did the leprechaun turn down the bowl of cereal? He already had pot of gold.
  4. Why did the leprechaun cross the road? To get to the pot of gold.
  5. Where can you always find gold on St. Patty’s Day? In the dictionary.
  1. What did the gold collector bake for dessert? Karat cake.
  2. Why did the little boy take his pet to the appraiser? It was a gold fish.
  3. Why was the mummy home from school? He caught a gold.
  4. How did the leprechaun beat the Irish man to the pot of gold? He took a short cut.
  5. What did the baby find at the end of the rainbow? A Potty gold.
  1. What kind of music did the gold nugget listen to? Heavy metal.
  2. Why did they build a castle for the pile of gold? Because it’s a noble metal.
  3. What did the iron say to the gold when it tried to wake him up? AU, get out of here.
  4. What’s another name for fake gold? Shamrock.
  5. What do miners put on their dry skin? gold bond.
  1. Which fairy tale character is worth the most? gold-ilocks.
  2. What award show does gold like to wath every year? golden Globes.
  3. What do you call a piece of gold who is afraid of the spiders? A chicken nugget.
  4. Why did the little girl want to go bird catching? She thought that catching enough gold finches would make her rich.
  5. Where do gold miners go for lunch? Au Bon Pain (Au is the chemical sign for gold).
  1. What did the hotdog go to the jewelry store? To find gold-ens Spicy Brown Mustard.
  2. Which Busy Town character like jewelry? gold bug.
  3. How is gold like an undercooked steak? They’re both rare.
  4. Why isn’t there any gold in a rainbow? Because it’s all in a pot at the end of the rainbow.
  5. Where do all the metals go to work out? gold’s Gym.
  1. What kind of dogs to gold panners like most? golden retrievers.
  2. What did the rich bunny grow in her garden? gold karats.
  3. What kind of music does gold listen to? Rock.
  4. Why wouldn’t the gold nugget cross the road? It was too yellow.
  5. Why did the poor law student switch majors? He couldn’t pass the gold bar exam.
  1. Why was the gold nugget only friends with boys? Because only diamonds are a girls best friend.
  2. Why wouldn’t the gold ever set the dinner table? He was opposed to electoplating.
  3. Why did the gold yell at the banana? Because gold reacts with potassium.
  4. What video game do gold hunters love to play? Minecraft.
  5. What objects have the most gravitational force? A lambo and a gold digger.
Cartoon graphic of pot of gold coins on blue background.
  1. How did the Iron and gold start dating? They met on TINder.
  2. How do you get gold’s attention? Aaayyyy youuuuuu.
  3. Why did the robber break into the canoe store? He heard that gold is found in ores.
  4. Why is gold king? It’s the most noble of the noble metals.
  5. How old is gold? Coinage.
  1. What’s the difference between a boy and gold? More people want gold.
  2. Should I turn my toothbrush into gold? I midas well.
  3. What happens if you laugh at a joke without any gold in it? You lgh at it.
  4. Have you ever tasted pure gold? I have, and it’s actually rather crunchy. Probably because it’s made of 24 carrots.
  5. Which one do you like more, gold or silver? Meh, either ore.
  1. Can you believe that the two largest gold mines collapsed in the same day? I guess great mines think alike.
  2. Why is the wind blowing gold everywhere? Because it’s Au-gust.
  3. What did gold say when it ran into the periodic table? Ayy you.
  4. What do you call a dinosaur without gold? A dinosr
  5. what do u call a gold digger? a miner.
  1. What do you call a sample of gold that used to be lead? A transition metal.
  2. You know what’s really worth its weight in gold? gold.
  3. What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear? 14 carrot gold.
  1. Did you hear about that massive chunk of gold? It’s au-fully heavy.
  2. What’s a pirates favorite element on the periodic table? gold. What the hell would they need argon for?
  3. What does gold eat to stay healthy? Karats.
  1. What cereal is worth its weight in gold? golden Grahams.
  2. Did you hear about the gold digger who left his pickaxe at home? It was a miner issue.
  3. Where can you always find gold? In the dictionary.
  4. Why were there no bars open during the gold Rush? It’s illegal to sell alcohol to miners.
  1. What did the gold miner shout to the thief as he ran away? Au you got my gold.
  2. Why did the gold go to jail? It made contact with a miner.
  3. What is a soccer player’s favorite chemical element? Goooooooooooold.
  4. What did the miner say when he struck gold? Au, yeah.
  5. How do you make gold soup? Put in 14 carrots.
Cartoon graphic of treasure chest of gold on blue background.

Gold one liners

Here are some great gold joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about gold.

  1. So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my co-workers found gold. I said AU, bring that over here.
  2. You should never date a prospector. They’re all just gold diggers.
  3. My friend has a shovel made of gold I guess you could call him a gold digger
  4. A block of gold walked into a bar, the bartender said ‘AU, get out.”
  1. I really regret eating all that gold-covered food. I have internalized gilt.
  2. So I was working in a mine out west when one of my partners found gold. I said Au, bring that over here.
  3. You want me to give you my money?! Don’t gold your breath.
  4. A man was on trial for trying to sell fake bars of gold. The jury found him gilt-y.
  5. It will be a gold day in hell if the mine ever shuts down.
  1. The miners got together and talked for gold times’ sake.
  2. One day gold got kicked out of the periodic table of elements. When he said goodbye the other elements said, “Au revoir”
  3. When I was digging for gold I banged my knee on a rock. Fortunately, it was only a miner injury.
  4. Not everything that glitters is gold. One example would be glitter.
  5. The billionaire pledged to donate all of his money. It was definitely a gold move.
  1. My wife is like precious gold to me. That’s why I buried her in the backyard.
  2. I entered the world kleptomaniac championship tournament. I took gold, silver and bronze.
  3. Emos and Goths should wear more gold. It’s pretty metal.
  4. A lot of corporations will find gold today. Because they’re ending their rainbows.
Cartoon graphic of stacked golden bars on blue background.

Best gold jokes

These next funny gold puns are some of our best jokes and puns about gold!

  1. What did the miner say when it turned out he found Pyrite instead of gold? Auuuuuuu.
  2. Why did the bouncer not allow gold digger in the bar? Cause miners are strictly prohibited.
  3. What is the 49ers’ defense known for? Their gold rush.
  4. What was the favorite frozen treat served at mining camps? Gold Slush.
  5. Why is the prospector waving a piece of paper on the creek? He is fanning for gold.
  1. Why is the miner not feeling well? He has a gold fever.
  2. Where is a good place to get gold mining supplies? Pan Francisco.
  3. Why couldn’t the gold digger buy his girlfriend a drink? Because he was a miner.
  4. Why did the man that hates miners leave his wife? She was a gold digger.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about gold, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more of the funniest random jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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