30 Funny Table Puns

Here are 30 funny table jokes and the best table puns to crack you up. These jokes about tables are great jokes for kids and adults.

Cartoon graphic of a girl hiding underneath a small table on a blue background.

Table puns

Here is our top list of table dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about tables, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this table humor with others.

  1. Which noble man loves sitting at a round table? Sir Cumference
  2. What do you call a couch, chair, and table made out of plants? Ferniture.
  3. Why do turkeys gobble? Because they never learned table manners.
  4. Why did the T-Rex behind the blackjack table get arrested? He was small arms dealing.
  5. What happens when a chair and a table helps out those in need? They become charitable.
  1. What’s the healthiest piece of furniture? The vege-table
  2. What is fascinating about a breakfast table with a jug of milk on it? It has four legs and lacks toes.
  3. What do you call a cow as a Knights of the Round Table? Sir Loin.
  4. What happens if you play table tennis with a bad egg? It goes ping, then it goes pong.
  5. Why didn’t King Arthur use the square table? Because that table wasn’t a-round.
Cartoon graphic of a young boy wiping the table clean on a blue background.

Table one liners

Here are some great table joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about tables.

  1. An SQL query goes to a restaurant, walks up to 2 tables and says “Can I join you?”?
  2. I think I spent way too much on this table. It is just not a foldable.
  3. At my grandma’s funeral there was a bowl of her favorite candy on the table. They were bereave-mints.
  4. The man who invented the revolving table was probably thinking this is going to revolutionize tables forever.
  5. I had dinner once with a chess Grand Master in a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took her two hours to pass me the salt.
  1. A server walks up to a table of Karen’s and asks, “Is anything alright tonight?”.
  2. Booked a table for 2 for Valentine’s Day. Hope my girlfriend likes snooker.
  3. When I was a kid, my dad worked hard to put food on the table. He was a good waiter.
  4. A student made our teacher so angry, they flipped their desk Oh, the tables have turned.
  5. I’ve just bought a Van Gogh coffee table. I know it’s genuine because it has a bit of veneer missing.
Cartoon graphic of two chairs and a romantic table on a blue background.

Best table jokes

These next funny table puns are some of our best jokes and puns about tables!

  1. What did the cat say when she fell off the table? Me-ow.
  2. What does a table become when you accidentally pour water on it? A pool table.
  3. I bought a DIY table today. There were no instructions. It was counter intuitive.
  4. My wife said, can you clear the kitchen table? I had to get a running start but I made it.
  5. Why did the restaurant get rid of their high-top tables? Because they were short staffed.
  1. What do you call an extremely soothing table? A console.
  2. Where does the periodic table go on Sundays? Mass.
  3. What did the pepper say to the table salt? Why you Sodium fine.
  4. I tried writing jokes about the periodic table. But I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
  5. Yesterday at the dinner table my dad asked me, “are you even listening to me?” Weird way to start a conversation if you ask me.
Cartoon graphic of a group of writers sitting around a table on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about tables, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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