60 Jokes About Kitchens

Here are 60 funny kitchen jokes and the best kitchen puns to crack you up. These jokes about kitchens are great kitchen jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of kitchen dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about kitchens, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this kitchen humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of nice kitchen and dining table on blue background.

Kitchen puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about kitchens that are also awesome kitchen jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen? A u-tinsel.
  2. What’s the most desirable kitchen appliance? A hot plate.
  3. Did you hear about the fight in the kitchen? A fish got battered.
  4. How did the chef win the golf tournament? He got a hole in one using his waffle iron.
  5. Two flies are in the kitchen. Which one is the Cowboy? The one on the range.
  1. Why did the judge want to borrow the restaurant’s kitchen? It had a conviction oven.
  2. What do you call men who make “Women belong in the kitchen” jokes? Single.
  3. What does Mike Tyson after he’s finished baking, have in common with Walter White? A methy kitchen.
  4. How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
  5. Why didn’t the chef ever have any spare change? He used it to park in front of the thermo meter.
  1. Why does the queen move more then a king on the chess board? Because it looks like a kitchen floor.
  2. Why shouldn’t you tell an egg a joke? It might crack up.
  3. How can you tell you’re not the best a grilling? Your family heads to the table when they hear a fire engine siren.
  4. Where do tired or angry people go out to eat? A rest-or-rant.
  5. Why was the pasty chef so annoying at the dance party? He kept trying to cut-in.
  1. Why wasn’t the baker asked to join the golf team? He was a well known slicer.
  2. Why was everyone in the kitchen upset with the sous chef? He kept roasting everyone.
  3. What did the religious sausage maker say every time he made a fresh batch? Braise the Lard.
  4. What can you always substitute for ice in a recipe? Frozen water.
  5. What should you do if there’s a sink knocking on your door? Let that sink in.
Cartoon graphic of kitchen setup on blue background.
  1. Why was the chef locked out of his kitchen? Because he had gnocchi.
  2. What did the chef call the person who asked for gluten-free spaghetti? An impasta.
  3. Why was the pickle given the top shelf in the kitchen cooler? The chef thought it was kind of a big dill.
  4. What bummed out the shredder? Not being grater.
  5. Why couldn’t the new kitchen worker prep the carrots? He thought the chef told him to slice with Sudoku instead of with a Santoku.
  1. Why was the new dishwasher fired? The chef said to clean spic-and-span, not spit-in-pan.
  2. Why was the appliance always late to the kitchen? It was slow cooker.
  3. What was the church’s chef asked to put on all the sandwiches? Miracle whip.
  4. Who is the most holy member of all the kitchen appliances? The deep friar.
  5. What do you call two chefs working together in the same kitchen? Taste Buds.
  1. What was the first thing Luke Skywalker said to the diners at his new restaurant? May the forks be with you.
  2. Why did the wait staff avoid the line cook? He was always steaming.
  3. What do lousy chefs use to tell them when a roast is done? A smoke detector.
  4. Why was the chef listed as the baseball team’s best base runner? He kept running away with the hot plate.
  5. If you’re American in the kitchen and African in the bedroom, what are you in the bathroom? European.
  1. Why did the boy put the potatoes on the kitchen floor? He wanted to mash potatoes.
  2. Why do brides wear white? So they match the kitchen appliances.
  3. What do you call a group of kitchen workers? Heard.
  4. What do you call a pumpkin who spits his seeds everywhere? A jerk o’ lantern.
  5. Did any of you hear about what happened when the kitchen floor in Heaven got covered in crumbs? Jesus swept.
Cartoon graphic of a kitchen on blue background.

Kitchen one liners

Here are some great kitchen joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about kitchens.

  1. Opened the kitchen cupboard and found some fake noodles. It’s an impasta.
  2. Never trust people who renovate kitchens. they specialize in counterfeiting.
  3. A lawyer who cooks lunch can be called a sue chef.
  4. It may be illegal to steal kitchen utensils, but what can I say? I’m a whisk taker.
  5. “Can you make me breakfast in bed?” asked my wife. I said, “No, I’ll have to go to the kitchen.”
  1. A favorite gun for any chef is a-salt-rifle.
  2. You can tell the gender of an ant by putting it on top of water. If it sinks, it’s a girl ant. If it doesn’t, buoyant.
  3. One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music. Think it’s the Chopin board.
  4. When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen equipment. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
  5. I was going to put my slices of meat on the top shelf of the fridge but the steaks were too high.
Cartoon graphic of kitchen sink and bench.

Best kitchen jokes

These next funny kitchen puns are some of our best jokes and puns about kitchens!

  1. Who was the best young cook in history? Julia’s Child.
  2. Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
  3. Why were screams coming from the kitchen? The cook was beating the eggs.
  4. What appliance did the stressed out cook use too much? The pressure cooker.
  5. Why could the man not cook a tree branch? Because he used a non-stick pan.
  1. I fell asleep beside the kitchen sink. I feel completely drained now.
  2. What sneaks around the kitchen on Christmas Eve? Mince spies.
  3. I got a Lord of the Rings themed kitchen. I particularly like the hob bit.
  4. While cooking, I got stressed and screamed at my colander, and now I have a strained voice.
  5. I had to give up on my plan to set up a business making work surfaces for kitchens. It was counterproductive.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about kitchens, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more silly jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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