100 Best Bride Puns

Here comes the pun! Dive into our delightful collection of bride puns that are perfect for adding some laughs to wedding planning. We’ve got bride and wedding-inspired puns, one-liners and memes! If you have any to share, comment them below!

Cartoon graphic of bride with roses and groom on blue background.

Bride puns

Whether you’re the bride or just here for the puns, these funny bride puns all have a ring to them. 💍

  1. When did the bride first get to know her groom? Sadly, a week or two after the wedding.
  2. Why do brides cry at weddings? Because they never marry the best man.
  3. How did the Queen Bee end up getting married? She ended up finding her honey.
  4. Why did the bride keep reading the marriage license? She was looking for a loophole.
  5. Why does the bride always wear white? Because it’s always good for the dishwasher to match the fridge and stove.
  1. What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for? Best before.
  2. Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in the mattress? They got married in the spring.
  3. What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.
  4. What kind of process is Marriage? A process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. 
  5. Which one of your children will never grow up and move away? Your husband.
  1. What is a marriage? A relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
  2. Why is love is a lot like a backache? It doesn’t show up on X-Rays, but you know it’s there.
  3. When a couple gets married, why does the bride change her name? Because men can’t handle that much planning.
  4. Why is a happy marriage a matter of give and take? Husband gives and wife takes.
  5. What is the easiest way of scaring men? Ask whether he remembers what today is.
  1. Why did the bride change her last name? Because it had a nice ring to it.
  2. What’s the leading cause of obesity? Wedding rings.
  3. What’s the secret to your long, happy marriage? I am still figuring out the secret myself.
  4. What’s the difference between a bride-to-be and groom-to-be? A bride-to-be wants a shower and a groom-to-be wants to get as dirty as possible before his Big Day.
  5. What did the father say when he walked his daughter down the aisle for her third wedding.? I keep giving you away and they keep giving you back.
  1. Which cakes are the saddest? Wedding cakes, because they often end up in tiers.
  2. What did Cinderella say when her wedding photos did not show up? Someday my prints will come.
  3. Why did the dad proton want his daughter proton to marry an electron? So the wedding would be free of charge.
  4. What’s the difference between a new wife and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
  5. What happened when a man at the gym proposed to his weights partner? She said no. It’s safe to say it didn’t work out.
Cartoon graphic of bride from behind holding flowers on blue background.
  1. What was the best part of the wedding? The reception. It really took the cake.
  2. What is a wedding ring? The world’s smallest handcuffs.
  3. What is a progression of rings for newly married couples? The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.
  4. It is true that love is blind? Because marriage is definitely an eye-opener.
  5. When is the right time to get married? I don’t know, what do you propose?
  1. How does a math professor propose to his girlfriend? With a polynomial ring.
  2. What do you call a wedding between two Russian people? A Soviet Union.
  3. What did the bride say to the groom who asked for some space? Join NASA.
  4. What should you give a man who has everything? A wife. She will tell him how everything works.
  5. What did bride and groom pickles say at their wedding vows? I dill.
  1. What did the peppermint say during her marriage? We were always mint to be together.
  2. If love is “grand,” what is divorce? A hundred grand, or more.
  3. Did you hear about the two cell phones who got married? The reception was terrific.
  4. Why do brides use twice as many words as their grooms? Because they always have to repeat themselves.
  5. Did you hear about the notebook bride that married a pencil? It finally found Mr. Write.
  1. What do a bride and a grenade have in common? They both leave you hurt when you pull off the ring.
  2. Did you hear about that bald groom that was so in love with his comb, he decided to marry it? Yes, he’ll never part with it.
  3. What did the vegetable groom say to the bride? I love you from my head tomatoes.
  4. What did the groom say to his bride when they went camping? Our love is in-tents.
  5. How do you congratulate a slice of bread on her wedding day? Toast her.
  1. Why did the polygamist cross the aisle? To get to the other bride.
  2. Why did the Mexican groom push his bride off a cliff? Tequila.
  3. Why didn’t the groom report his stolen credit card? The thief was spending less than his bride.
  4. Why did the polygamist cross the aisle? To get to the other bride.
  5. Why do brides use twice as many words as their grooms? Because they always have to repeat themselves.
  1. What do cannibals do at a wedding? Toast the bride.
  2. What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married? Feyonce.
  3. Why do brides watch wedding proposals on YouTube? They find them so engaging.
  4. Why did two pianists have a good marriage? They were always in a chord.
  5. How do you transfer funds even faster than electronic banking? By getting Married.
Cartoon graphic of indian bride and groom on blue background.
  1. What do you call two spiders that just got married? Newly-webs.
  2. Why did the groom plan on taking his bride to Egypt for their honeymoon? To make her a mummy.
  3. Why did the bride order a 2 meter wide frame of their wedding photo? To look at the bigger picture.
  4. How is a marriage like a hot bathOnce you get used to it, it’s not so hot.
  5. What are the seven words for a happy marriage? Yes dear, I’m sorry, It’s my fault.

Bride one liners

Here are some great bride jokes one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about brides.

  1. You know, I was a fool when I married you? Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.
  2. I went to a wedding where a fight broke out between the bride and groom. It was martial arts.
  3. I decided I’m going to change my name when I get married. I would love something with a good ring to it.
  4. Just asked my bride what she’s “burning up for dinner” and it turned out to be all of my personal belongings.
  5. I met a sailor I wanted to marry, but even though he was in love with me, he wasn’t ready to tie the knot.
  1. Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.
  2. Honey, will you give me a ring on our wedding day? Sure, what’s your number?
  3. Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that? How can I? I don’t even know her.
  4. It’s our anniversary, darling. How do you suggest we celebrate? With a minute of silence.
  5. My ex girlfriend: You are invited for my wedding! Me: I am busy, but I’d be there next time.
  1. For butter or worse, I want to toast the lovely bride and groom.
  2. A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
  3. To many girls think the word ‘marriage’ has a nice ring to it.
  4. My husband cooks for me like I’m a god, by placing burnt offerings before me every night.
  5. When they bought a water bed, the bride and groom started to drift apart.
  1. By all means, marry; if you get a good husband, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
  2. When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
  3. A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
  4. My husband and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
  5. On their wedding night, a groom asks his new bride, “Honey, am I your first?” She says, “Why does everyone ask me that?”
  1. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be used against you until death do you part.
  2. Arguing with the bride is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet. In the end you just give up and go “I Agree”.
  3. Best men, please stand to the left because women are always right.
  4. I went to a wedding where all the guests ended up getting food poisoning from the buffet. It was a real party pooper.
  5. On my wedding day, I walked down the aisle with my back to the altar. I really wasn’t looking forward to getting married.
Cartoon graphic of beautiful bride from behind on blue background.

Bride Memes

These funny bridal and marriage-inspired memes are great to share on your socials. Tag us on Facebook!

Wedding cake being cut with the terms "my wedding was so emotional. Even the cake was in tiers'
bride meme with caption 'Will you give me a ring in our wedding?" Sure honey, what's your number?"
A woman smiling with the caption 'A good wife always forgives her husband when she is wromg.'
two pear cartoons, with the caption 'a perfect pear'

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about brides, we hope you had a good laugh.If you want to hear more funny jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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