65 Funny Phone Jokes

Here are 65 funny phone jokes and the best phone puns to crack you up. These jokes about phones are great phone jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of phone dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about phones, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this phone humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of an isometric phone with a play symbol in the middle of the screen on a blue background.

Phone puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about phones that are also awesome phone jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. How do oysters call their friends? On shell phones.
  2. How did the alien break its phone? He Saturn it.
  3. Why didn’t the skeleton need a cell phone? He had no body to talk with.
  4. Why did the pineapple’s phone die? It needed juice.
  5. What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
  1. When does a horse talk on the phone? Whinny wants to.
  2. What do you get if you cross a phone and a lobster? Snappy talk.
  3. How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
  4. Why was the cell phone scared to go to the dentist? He didn’t want him to remove his blue tooth.
  5. Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate? He was afraid the ring would give him away.
  6. Did you hear about the fashion designer who was on the phone while driving and nearly got into a car accident? It was a clothes call.
  1. What is a phone’s favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
  2. What’s my IPhone without me? Phone.
  3. What phone network do they use in Star Wars? Yodaphone.
  4. How did the telephone propose to the lady? It gave her a ring.
  5. Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
  1. What do you get if you cross a phone and a pair of scissors? Snippy answers.
  2. Why are dogs like phones? Because they have collar IDs.
  3. Why do people still have landlines? To locate their cell phones when they go missing.
  4. What does a phone do when it wants to sleep? It downloads a nap.
  5. What noise does a bird‘s phone make? Wing wing.
Cartoon graphic of a girl on her phone while sitting on a pink cushion on a blue background.
  1. What sort of phones do Adam and Eve have? Apple.
  2. What sort of phones do they have in dungeons? Cell phones.
  3. How does a phone propose? With a ring.
  4. Why was the turtle looking at her phone? She wanted to take a shellfie.
  5. How does a barber make phone calls? He usually cuts them short.
  1. Why don’t skeletons have a mobile? They don’t have any body to talk to.
  2. How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They’ll get a buzzy signal.
  3. How does a skeleton call his friends? On the tele-bone.
  4. What did the phone say to begin the race? On your marks, handset, go.
  5. How does a banana answer a phone call? Yellow.
  1. How do you make a phone call in a gardenYou use a cauliflower.
  2. What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it? Money’s tight these days.
  3. What do you get if you cross a mole with an iPhone? A mole-bil telephone.
  4. Why did the fox break his phone after his team lost? He did it in a fit of fur-y.
  5. How did the electrician pay for his new phone? He charged it.
  1. What do you call a fake iPhone? A phone-y.
  2. Why could the skunk not call for pizzaHis phone was out of odour.
  3. How does the foot send messages to the brainToelaphone.
  4. What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone? A golden receiver.
  5. What did the cat on the smart phone say? Can you hear meow?
Cartoon graphic of a cell phone with pop-ups and love hearts coming out side of the phone on a blue background.

Phone one liners

Here are some great phone joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about phones.

  1. I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
  2. I threw my phone from the roof, and it broke. The airplane mode must’ve been switched off.
  3. I love my camera phone. I just can’t picture myself without it.
  4. Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. He was charged with a salt in battery.
  5. My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on his phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
  1. I put my phone into airplane mode. It’s a terrible transformer.
  2. When you step on the weighing scale it shows your phone number.
  3. I don’t hate you, but I got to unplug your life support to charge my phone.
  4. My cellphone got wet, so I put it in rice, but I don’t think it’s working. The soy sauce just made things worse.
  5. I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
  1. I just connected my phone to the cloud I had 10 mist calls.
  2. I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it’s uncalled for.
  3. My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea. I’m not sure why he is upset.
  4. The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game. He said he didn’t want to miss any calls.
  5. Mom was confused when I got home from school. She said, “You left your phone here, and I’ve been trying to call you all day to tell you.”
Cartoon graphic of a man holding a pink phone and wearing a pink hat on a blue background.

Best phone jokes

These next funny phone puns are some of our best jokes and puns about phones!

  1. Why was the phone wearing glasses? It had lost its contacts.
  2. Why couldn’t the mummy answer the phone? She was tied up.
  3. What do you call a phone made out of potato? A gnocchia.
  4. Why did the man cut his pizza with a smartphone? It’s cutting edge technology.
  5. What was the crow doing up on the telephone pole? Making a long distance phone caw.
  1. How does a baritone make a phone call? Song distance.
  2. What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
  3. How do trees contact one another? By teleafone.
  4. Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hook.
  5. Did you hear about the phones who got married? The ceremony was boring but the reception was great.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about phones, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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