Here are 75 funny sleep jokes and the best sleep puns to crack you up. These jokes about sleeping are great jokes for kids and adults.
Here is our top list of sleep dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about sleeping, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this sleep humor with others.
Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about sleeping that are also awesome sleep jokes for adults and kids to be told!
- What did the turtle sleep all day? It was noc-turtle.
- What do you call a sleeping pizza? PiZZZa.
- Why do clowns often have stiff necks? Because they sleep funny.
- Why couldn’t the pancake sleep? He kept tossing and turning.
- How does a person who has fallen asleep on a jigsaw puzzle wake up? With a puzzled look.
- Where does a librarian sleep? Between the covers.
- What game do moose play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.
- What does a phone do when it wants to sleep? It downloads a nap.
- What do you call it when you make sandwiches at a sleepover? Peanut butter and jammies.
- Why did the clown wear horns on his shoes? To keep his feet from falling asleep.
- Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks.
- Where do jellyfish sleep? On the ocean bed.
- Why do nurses creep around at night? So they don’t wake the sleeping pills.
- What do you call a really sleepy egg? Egg-zosted.
- Why are koala’s so sleepy? Because they are soo tired from being so damn cute all day.
- What do you call a sleepy boy moose? A bull dozer.
- Who can go to sleep with shoes on their feet? A horse.
- How do you trap a baby elephant? You trick him when he’s calf asleep.
- Where do roses sleep at night? In their flowerbed.
- What do you get when you cross a rooster with a duck? A bird that wakes up at the quack of dawn.
- Where do whales sleep at night? In water beds.
- Why did the elf sleep in the fireplace? Because he wanted to sleep like a log.
- Where do burgers sleep? On a bed of lettuce.
- Did you hear about the lady who always goes to sleep on a chandelier? She’s a light sleeper.
- Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up? Because if they slept with two legs up they’d fall over.
- What do lions wear to sleep? Paw-jamas
- How does a lawyer sleep? First he lies on one side and then on the other.
- What do ghosts do at sleepovers? Tell scary human stories.
- Why did the girl put an alarm clock in her shoe? She didn’t want her feet to fall asleep.
- What happened when the women tried to sleep with one eye open? They weren’t able to sleep a wink.
- Where did the chess player sleep? In a KING size bed.
- How do you put a baby alien to sleep? You rocket.
- Why was the laptop wearing a hat while it was in sleep mode? Cause of Caps Lock.
- What do you call a sleeping lizard? A Dino-snore.
- What did the sleep-deprived cowboy say to his cow who was mooing into the wee hours? It’s pasture bedtime.
- What kind of dog is the quietest sleeper of all? A hush puppy.
- What’s it called when your feet go to sleep and won’t wake up? Coma-toes.
- What did the mommy broom say to the baby broom? It’s time to go to sweep.
- What should you do if you see a huge snake sleeping in your bed? Sleep somewhere else.
- Why don’t bananas snore when they sleep? Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
- Where does a fox sleep during the winter? Near the fur-nace.
- Why did the little girl put sugar under her pillow at night? So she would have sweet dreams.
- How is marriage different than most wars? It’s the only war where you sleep with the enemy.
- If there is a king and queen-size mattress, where does the prince sleep? On the heir mattress.
- Why did the meatballs tell the spaghetti to close its eyes and go to sleep? It was pasta bedtime.
Sleep one liners
Here are some great sleep joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about sleeping.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.
- I fell asleep beside the kitchen sink. I feel completely drained now.
- A woman was going to sleep in a bucket of ice. But then she got cold feet.
- They asked me to follow my dreams this Friday. I went back to sleep right away.
- My boss calls me “The computer”. Not because of my calculation skills but because I go to sleep when left unattended for 15 minutes.
- I fell asleep on a jigsaw and woke up with a puzzled look.
- Most softball games are played at night because the bats have to sleep during the day.
- I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
- Just bought a sleeping bag for $40. No idea how to wake it up though.
- At any given time, the urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is never more than a whim away.
- I was offered a job at a mattress factory, but I had to sleep on it before accepting.
- I pulled an all-nighter watching a flamingo sleep. It was outstanding all night.
- I burned 2000 calories today. I fell asleep while baking pizza in the oven.
- I do multiple sit-ups every morning. I get up, hit snooze, and go back to sleep. Then, repeat the cycle.
- Wheels are the sleepiest part of a car because they’re always tired.
- I accidently went to sleep with contacts. But I have never had clearer dreams.
- At the grocery store, they put my items in a bag with Z’s. It was a sleeping bag.
- Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs. “Just five minutes more.”
- Chuck Norris only goes to sleep to let the Earth rest.
- I couldn’t figure out why I haven’t been sleeping all night. And then it dawned on me.
Best sleep jokes
These next funny sleep puns are some of our best jokes and puns about sleeping!
- What’s the best kind of rice to sleep on? Pilau.
- What do gingerbread men sleep on? Cookie sheets.
- Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they nEverest.
- Which type of art equipment makes you tired? A cra-yawn.
- Why did Boba Fett sleep Tuesday through Sunday? He was a Mondaylorian.
- Where do baby monkeys sleep? In ape-ri-cots.
- What do you call a sleeping chameleon? A chameleoff.
- Why do keyboards never sleep? Because they have two shifts.
- Why do dragons always sleep during the day? They fight knights.
- Why did the robot sleep under a car? He wanted to wake up oily.
After reading through all these hilarious jokes about sleeping, we hope you had a good laugh.
If you want to hear more funny jokes, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: