65 Funny Witch Puns

Here are 65 funny witch jokes and the best witch puns to crack you up. These jokes about witches are great witch jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of witch dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about witches, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this witch humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of a young witch with a cauldron and holding an owl on a blue background.

Witch puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about witches that are also awesome witch jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What do witches put in their hair? Scare spray.
  2. Why did three witches call in the plumber? Hubble, bubble, toilet trouble.
  3. What do you call a bee with a spell on him? Bee-witched.
  4. What does a witch say when it can’t decide which one to wear? Witch hat?
  5. Did you hear about the witch who ate 10 packs of gum? She had some double bubble toilet trouble.
  1. Why couldn’t the little witch read her spellbook? It was written in curse-ive.
  2. What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand? A ham sandwitch.
  3. What happened to the bad-tempered witch? She flew off the handle.
  4. What do you call it when a witch’s black cat falls off a broomstick? A catastrophe.
  5. What happened to the witches who broke the school rules on Monday? They got ex-spelled.
  1. What do you say if a witch turns you into a moose? Oh deery me.
  2. What do you call a group of witches cooking simple recipes? An Easy Bake Coven.
  3. How does a witch-doctor ask someone to dance? Voodoo like to dance with me?
  4. What do witches in Australia ride? Broomerangs.
  5. Are you obsessed with Black Widow, Captain Marvel, and Scarlet Witch? You may be a heroine addict.
  1. What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project’
  2. What game do witches play in October? Hide and ghost seek.
  3. What’s the most hostile mob on a Minecraft beach? The sandwitches.
  4. Why did the witch have to move out of her gingerbread house? The property taxes were gastronomical.
  5. What happened to the witch with an upside down nose? Every time she sneezed, she blew her hat off.
Cartoon graphic of a witch with pink hair on a flying broom on a blue background.
  1. How do you make a witch scratch? By taking away the ‘w’.
  2. What do you call a nervous witch? A twitch.
  3. What did the wizards and witches say to the airplanes? WING-ardium Leviosa.
  4. Did you hear about the witch that crashed into the bat? She didn’t bat an eye lid and kept flying.
  5. What do you call a witch that lives in the sand? I don’t know but I’m getting hungry.
  1. Who turns the lights off on Halloween? The light’s witch.
  2. Why is it good to drink witch’s brew? It’s very newt-tricious!
  3. What did the orc tell the witch when she ate her pie too fast? Stop goblin your dessert.
  4. Why are witches good at farming? Because they love occult-ivation.
  5. Question? Answer.
  1. How do witches play loud music? On their broom boxes.
  2. What does a witch and a candle have in common? They’re both wicked.
  3. What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future? Witchful thinking.
  4. What do you call two witches who live together? Broom-mates.
  5. Why did the witch put her broomstick inside the washing machine? She wanted a clean sweep.
  1. What noise do witches’ cereals make? Snap, cackle, and pop.
  2. Why don’t wizards make their witches mad? They’ll give them a cold spell.
  3. What do you call a fast broomstick? A vroom-stick.
  4. How do you find out if a witch is carrying a bomb? You hear her brooms tick.
  5. Have you heard about the good weather witch? She’s only anticipating sunny spells.
Cartoon graphic of a smiling witch on a broom on a blue background.

Witch one liners

Here are some great witch joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about witches.

  1. Witches don’t fart. They cast smells.
  2. I went to witch school when I was a kid. I didn’t love it. All we did was spell.
  3. A witch tells the time by looking at her witch watch.
  4. The witches team lost their opening baseball game because all their bats flew away.
  5. I always forget that holiday that comes at the end of October. Then the doorbell rings, witch reminds me.
  1. Audio psychology isn’t witchcraft. It’s sound science.
  2. I asked why the magician was late to the party. He said, “bewitcha in a minute.”
  3. he witch hated riding her broomstick on a cold night. She just went out for a short spell.
  4. Witches don’t really like martial arts. The only exception being taekwando.
  5. In primitive times when people beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft. Today, in our civilized society, it is called golf.
  1. People are scared of witches because of their resting witch face.
  2. There was a magical young lady, eating lunch in the desert. It was a sand witch.
  3. Someone who does not become a witch until they’re old is a late broomer.
  4. I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
  5. Witches can smell brew from far away because they have a very keen sense of spell.
Cartoon graphic of an old witch on a broomstick with a pointy hat on a blue background.

Best witch jokes

These next funny witch puns are some of our best jokes and puns about witches!

  1. What do you learn at witch school? Spelling.
  2. Why won’t a witch wear a flat cap? Because there is no point in it.
  3. What do witches ask for at hotels? Broom service.
  4. What did the witch say to the nurse? I need to see doctor, I had a dizzy spell.
  5. What did the vegan witch use in her magic potions? Ear of corn and eye of potato.
  1. How do you get rid of a Witch in the desert? I usually toast my sand Witches.
  2. What do the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe have in common? Narnia Business.
  3. What do witches put on to go trick-or-treating? Mas-scare-a.
  4. What happens if someone sees a magic crime? They enter the Witches’ Protection Program.
  5. What makes trick-or-treating with twin witches so challenging? You never know which witch is which.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about witches, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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