40 Jokes About Psychology

Here are 40 funny psychology jokes and the best psychology puns to crack you up. These jokes about psychology are great psychology jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of psychology dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about psychology, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this psychology humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of a phycology professional with a client sitting in chairs on a blue background.

Psychology puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about psychology!

  1. What did the ghost say to its psychologist? I just feel like I really used to be somebody.
  2. Why is there no point in going to a child psychologist? They’re too young
  3. Why was the psychologist always so good at solving mysteries? He had a real “sense” of “psycho-logic”.
  4. What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison? A small, medium at large.
  5. What’s the difference between an experimental psychologist and a magician? An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats.
  1. Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft? Classical conditioning.
  2. Which psychologist helps members of rock bands? Pink Freud.
  3. What happens if you go skiing with a lot of psychologists? You’ll see a lot of Freudians slip.
  4. Does the name “Pavlov” ring a bell? No, but it makes my mouth water.
  5. Why was the duck kicked out of his psychology lecture?. He kept calling the professor a quack.
  1. What does a psychologist do when they’ve lost their sanity? They talk to themself.
  2. Why was the psychology major such a good musician? He was classically conditioned.
  3. What psychosis do you have, if all you can think about is Chinese noodles? Mega-Lo-Mein-ia.
  4. Have you heard of the new psychological therapy for trendy kids? Hipnosis.
  5. How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to want to change.
Cartoon graphic of a red and blue brain with smiling faces around them on blue background.

Psychology one liners

Here are some great psychology joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about psychology.

  1. I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
  2. The phycologist’s office is like a “phyco-logical” playground.
  3. My husband has a minor in psychology I guess you could say he’s a little psycho.
  4. I attended a psychology lecture by a famous professor today. It was mental.
  5. I got a degree in psychology and a degree in reverse psychology. I didn’t learn a thing.
  1. Audio psychology isn’t witchcraft. It’s sound science.
  2. If you want to study phycology, it’s important to have a “phycological mindset”.
  3. I take psychiatric medication. It doesn’t feel as bad as stealing it.
  4. My therapist said I had “phycological blindspots” and I couldn’t see the problem.
  5. I was phycologically disturbed by the fact that I can’t stop making bad phycology jokes.
  1. I have an anxiety disorder. It means I panic when I do something out of order.
  2. I always cheated on my psychology tests. I don’t know what that says about me.
  3. I think i’m an expert in reverse psychology, but you don’t have to agree.
  4. I told my psychologist I am scared off living in a block of flats. She says I have an apartment complex.
  5. I have a double major in Psychology and Geography. I lead the field in research on glacial depressions.
Cartoon graphic of a psychiatrist and patient on a blue background.

Best psychology jokes

These next funny psychology puns are some of our best jokes and puns about psychology!

  1. Why can’t you hear psychologists weeing? Because the p is silent.
  2. Why was Waldo going to start psychotherapy? He wanted to find himself.
  3. What did the hippocampus say when it retired? Thanks for the memories.
  4. Why are psychology students so bad at fixing things? They’re always analyzing the problems, not “psycho-logical” solutions.
  5. How many psychotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it’ll need five more sessions.
  1. How does a crazy person get to the woods? He takes the psychopath.
  2. What’s the human psychology behind all this toilet paper hoarding during covid-19 pandemic? That’s just how we roll.
  3. Why did the clairvoyant visit the psychologist? He was suffering from pre-traumatic stress disorder.
  4. Why did the psychologist leave the math teacher? He had way too many problems that needed solving.
  5. Why didn’t the psychologist meet the client who thought he was invisible? She didn’t have the time to see him.
Cartoon graphic of head split in half showing symbols of emotional psychology and little people around it on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about psychology, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny occupation puns then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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