25 Funny August Jokes

Here are 25 funny August jokes and the best August puns to crack you up. These jokes about August are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of August dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about August, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this August humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of gold-colored word of August on a blue background.

August puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about August that are also awesome August jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What are a school teacher’s 3 favorite words? June, July, August.
  2. Why do bananas use sunscreen in August? Because they peel.
  3. What do you call a snowman in August? A puddle.
  4. What did August say when June claimed that today is the last day of the month? Don’t July to me.
  5. What is the worst date you’ve ever been on? August 13th. Remind me to never stand on a calendar again.
  1. What’s the humblest month? Au gosh.
  2. Why is there gold blowing through the wind? Because it’s Au-gust.
  3. Has anyone’s gardening skills improved during the quarantine? I planted myself on the couch in August and have grown significantly since.
  4. What do you call a Labrador at the beach in August? A hot dog.
  5. How many seconds are there in one year? 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, and December 2nd.
Cartoon graphic of a light brown calendar with the month of August shortened to 3 letters on a blue background.

August one liners

Here are some great August joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about August.

  1. August without wind is gold.
  2. Bought some 250 million year old Himalayan salt. But it expires in August.
  3. I bought a winter jacket at the store last August. I got a really good deal because I bought it before it was cool.
  4. I celebrate Halloween in August. When you show up at someone’s door at night in August with a mask on, you get better stuff.
  5. The doctor has given me two months to live. I’ve chosen August and December, because I like summer but don’t want to miss Christmas.
  1. When the grass gets burned from the heat in August, I call that lawndry.
  2. Everyone keeps posting about Mayweather, but I’m 99% sure it’s August.
  3. My crush and I are getting married. I am getting married on 31st August and she is on 31st October.
  4. My wife and I just had a daughter and named her JuneJulyAugust. We call her Summer for short.
  5. My friend just asked me why I’m wearing my sweatshirt in August. I told him I’m a trendsetter, I wear sweatshirts before it’s cool.
Cartoon graphic of multicolored word of August on a blue background.

Best August jokes

These next funny August puns are some of our best jokes and puns about August!

  1. Who came after Augustus? Septembrus.
  2. Don’t June know it’s August? Sometimes I think you can’t December.
  3. What makes August so hot? The sun.
  4. Is today really August? Or are Julying to me?
  5. Why do pirates hate May, June July and August? Because they don’t have Arrrrrs in them.
Cartoon graphic of multicolored word of August in block letters on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about August, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny seasonal puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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