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30 Funny Vacuum Jokes

ByChe Lewis

Here are 30 funny vacuum jokes and the best vacuum puns to crack you up. These jokes about vacuums are great jokes for kids and adults.

Cartoon graphic of a young girl using a vacuum cleaner on a blue background.

Vacuum puns

Here is our top list of vacuum dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about vacuums, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this vacuum humor with others.

  1. What do you call a boxer who vacuums? Mike Dyson
  2. What’s the scariest thing to a lego? The vacuum cleaner.
  3. How do you fix a broken vacuum cleaner? Put a Green Bay sticker on it, it’ll suck again.
  4. Want to hear about my appliances? My fan blows me away, the fridge is pretty cool, the vacuum sucks and the air ventilator just sits there and collects dust.
  5. What’s that thing that everyone says it’s great but actually sucks? A vacuum cleaner.
  1. Does anyone want a vacuum cleaner? Mine’s just gathering dust.
  2. Why do witches only fly on brooms? Vacuum cleaners are too heavy
  3. In space, what do you call a janitor? A vacuum cleaner.
  4. Why are dogs are afraid of outer space? Because it’s a vacuum.
  5. What are the only two words in the English language that have two U’s together? Vacuum and Sheep.
Cartoon graphic of a young boy using a vacuum cleaner on a blue background.

Vacuum one liners

Here are some great vacuum joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about vacuums.

  1. Our household needs a new vacuum cleaner. The one we’ve got just collects dust.
  2. Last night the Grim Reaper came for me, but I managed to beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with Death.
  3. Bought my wife a new belt and bag for Valentines day, The vacuum works just fine now.
  4. I got Inside a vacuum chamber once. It was breath taking.
  5. Don’t be worried about your iPhone and laptop spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
  1. So I woke up this morning to my dishwasher making a weird sound. Turns out she was just vacuuming.
  2. I feel like my purchase of a vacuum cleaner was a waste of money. Ever since I bought all it’s done is collected dust
  3. The highlight of my week was my new vacuum cleaner. Things are picking up.
  4. It’s almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not. Either it sucks or it sucks.
  5. Son: When is Mother’s Day Dad? Dad wearily unplugging the vacuum, “Every day son, every day.” 
Cartoon graphic of a young boy with a vacuum cleaner on a blue background.

Best vacuum jokes

These next funny vacuum puns are some of our best jokes and puns about vacuums!

  1. Despite space being a vacuum. Mars is really dusty.
  2. What’s a vacuum cleaners favorite plant? A succulent.
  3. What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes? KA-BROOM!
  4. What’s the difference between a biker and a vacuum? The position of the dirt bag.
  5. Whats the last thing your father says before killing you with a vacuum cleaner?Dyson
  1. Why can’t Buddhists vacuum under the couch? Because they have no attachments.
  2. What is the best vacuum brand? I don’t know they all suck.
  3. When you clean out a vacuum cleaner. You become a vacuum cleaner.
  4. How did the robot vacuum the house? Roomba room.
  5. Have you heard about the vacuum company’s new CEO? They hired him because of his good business Vacuumen.
Cartoon graphic of a family cleaning their house and the dad with a vacuum cleaner on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about vacuums, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

Hi! I'm Che, and I hope you enjoy these jokes as much as me. These jokes lists are curated by me alone. I handpick the jokes for quality, create some myself or add ones that have been contributed by readers like you.

I constantly update Here's A Joke posts to ensure top quality. Not feeling a joke or got one to share? Let me know in the comments or contact me. With your support, I'm aiming for the best joke site around.

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