70 Funny Morning Jokes

Here are 70 funny morning jokes and the best morning puns to crack you up. These jokes about the morning are great jokes for kids and adults.

Morning puns

Here is our top list of morning dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about the morning, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this morning humor with others.

1. What do dogs eat in the morning? Barkfast.
2. How does it feel to wake up every morning? It’s an eye-opening experience.
3. How do cheeses greet each other on Monday mornings? Have a Gouda week.
4. What would it be called if you refused to go running in the morning? Resistance Training.
5. Did you hear about the man that woke up in the morning and forgot which side the sun rises from? It eventually dawned on him.

6. Why do birds always sing in the morning? Because they don’t go to work.
7. How do you feel every day before having your morning coffee? Depresso.
8. What do cows read in the morning? The moospaper.
9. Where is the first place Batman goes every morning? The Batroom.
10. Why couldn’t you shave this morning? Because someone stole my mirror. The police are looking into it.

11. Where do birds go every day to get a cup of coffee? To the NESTcafe.
12. What’s yellow and makes mothers happy? The school bus in the morning.
13. How does coffee usually help in the morning? It makes people coffeedent.
14. What takes you the longest to get ready in the morning? Finding the will to live.
15. What do cats love to do in the morning? Read the mewspaper.

16. What’s a cannibal’s favorite morning drink? A cup of Joe.
17. What did the rising sun say to the morning dew? You will be mist.
18. What did the Cyclops say every Monday morning? Eye don’t want to get up.
19. What happens when you finish drinking your cup of tea in the morning? It becomes emptea.
20. How did the man burn 800 calories in the morning easily? He forgot his pizza inside his oven.

21. What does a cup say to the coffee every morning? “You’re brew-ti-ful.”
22. Why did the coffee taste like mud? Because it was just ground this morning.
23. Why did the trucker sleep under his oil tanker? To get up oily in the morning.
24. What do bakers say when they wake up in the mornings? Time to get bread-y now.
25. What happens when you eat yeast and shoe polish? You rise and shine every morning.

26. How does a panda make pancakes in the morning? With a pan…duh.
27. What did the painter draw first in the morning? The blinds.
28. What beverage do sick people have in the morning? Cough-ee.
29. Did you hear about the guy who got hit by the same bike every morning? It was a vicious cycle.
30. Why did the man get arrested for pouring himself a coffee in the morning? The police thought it was a mugging.

31. Where do eggs enjoy their morning coffee? On the poach.
32. What do sloths drink in the morning? Sloth-ee.
33. Why is Mario so energetic? He’s the first 1-up in the morning.
34. What do you say to a pickle in the morning? Rise and brine.
35. What if clocks would hit you back in the morning? That would be truly alarming.

36. Why don’t helicopters fly in the morning? Twirly.
37. How does the ocean say good morning? It waves.
38. What does a potato say on a sunny morning? What a mashing day.
39. What’s the color of the sun when it rises in the early morning? It’s rose.
40. What do you call an armadillo that wakes everyone up in the morning? An alarm-adillo.

Morning one liners

Here are some great morning joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about the morning.

41. A yawn in the morning is a silent scream for coffee.
42. Any job is a dream job if you fall asleep in morning meetings.
43. I forgot to pluck my eyebrows while getting ready this morning. It was an oversight.
44. My first car was a muscle car. Every morning I had to push it to start.
45. I do multiple sit-ups every morning. I get up, hit snooze, and go back to sleep. Then, repeat the cycle.

46. I was grilling steak this morning. Didn’t mean to wagyu up.
47. My daughter was born this morning, July 4th. It’s the day I lost my independence.
48. The only good part about getting out of bed in the morning is that I get to eat again.
49. Every morning clowns wake up with sore necks. It’s because they sleep funny.
50. I spent the morning coating the ladder that leads into my roof space with grease. Its an anti-climb attic story.

51. As a programmer, waking up is the 0th thing I do every morning.
52. My morning alarm is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
53. On Monday morning, rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off the floor is another story.
54. I didn’t have any toast this morning, and I’m very angry about it. I think I might be lack toast intolerant.
55. I never thought I’d be the type of person who would one day get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.

56. I would be a morning person if morning happened around 1 p.m.
57. Ever since a friend of mine started eating toast for breakfast in the morning, he has become a breader person due to it.
58. My outfits are typically inspired by the fact that I hit my snooze button 6 times every morning.
59. I woke up this morning to find all my books and knick-knacks scattered all over the floor. I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
60. I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself. I really need to wash some mugs.

Best morning jokes

These next funny good morning puns are some of our best jokes and puns about mornings!

61. What do lobsters drink in the morning? Claw-fee.
62. How does Shrek like his eggs in the morning? Ogre easy.
63. How does Moses make coffee in the morning? He-brews it.
64. Why did the rock shower every morning? He wanted to start with a clean slate.
65. How do zoo keepers wake the animals in the morning? They set their allamas.

66. I had a stack of 52 slices of toast this morning. I ate an entire deck of carbs.
67. This morning I tried to flip my eggs like I do with my pancakes. Yolks on me.
68. I made a tuna salad this morning. Stupid thing didn’t even eat it.
69. My wife asked me why I put a ladder in the bedroom. I said to her, “It helps me get up in the morning.”
70. Whenever I have a stressful day, I drink a glass of water before going to bed. It always gives me a reason to get up in the morning.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about mornings, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

• Tall people jokes
• Short people puns
• Jokes about height
• Flirting jokes for kids