80 Funny Shoe Puns

Here are 80 funny shoe jokes and the best shoe puns to crack you up. These jokes about shoes are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of shoe dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about shoes, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this shoe humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of a basketball high top shoe on a blue background.

Shoe puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about shoes that are also awesome shoe jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What kind of shoes does Captain Hook hate? Crocs.
  2. Why don’t people eat shoes? Because they’ve been laced.
  3. What was the plumber’s least-favorite type of shoe? A clog.
  4. What did the hat say to the shoe? I’ll go on ahead, you go on afoot.
  5. Why don’t you ever see a grizzly in socks and shoes? Because they have bear feet.
  1. What do you call expensive shoes? Cashews.
  2. What has six eyes, a sole, and a tongue? A shoe.
  3. What shoes does an apartment wear? Flats.
  4. Why did the shoe show up late for class? She was tied up.
  5. How do you make trainers out of trees? Wooden shoe like to know.
  1. What type of shoes does Voldemort wear? Horcrocs.
  2. What kind of jokes do shoelaces tell? Knot knot jokes.
  3. What sort of shoes does bread wear? Loafers.
  4. What shoes do you wear on ice? Slippers.
  5. What happened when the teacher tied the shoelaces of all her students together? They ended up going on a class trip.
  1. Which letter has its own brand of shoes? A D does
  2. What kind of shoes does a spy wear? Sneakers.
  3. Why should you wear good shoes in a fight? You’ll never see de-feet.
  4. What kind of shoes do airplanes wear? High heels.
  5. Why did the business shoe eat yeast and shoe polish every day? So that he could rise and shine.
  1. What did the chewing gum say to the shoe? I’m stuck on you.
  2. What did one shoe say to the other? Want to go for a walk together?
  3. What type of shoes does a bully hate? A goody two shoes.
  4. What do robots wear during the winter? Roboots.
  5. What do you call a dinosaur that wears boots and a cowboy hat? Tyrannosaurus Tex.
Cartoon graphic of man's legs and shoes walk away from you on a blue background.
  1. Why shouldn’t you buy Velcro shoes? They’re a rip off.
  2. What sort of shoes do artists wear? Sketchers.
  3. Why is it bad to work in a shoe recycling center? It’s sole destroying.
  4. How does a cloud tie its shoelaces? With a rain-bow.
  5. Why did the robot go to the shoe shop? To get rebooted.
  1. What does a trainer say when it sneezes? A shoe.
  2. What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
  3. What was the goose’s favorite type of shoe? Duck Martens.
  4. Why do shoes always come in pairs? They’re sole-mates.
  5. Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
  1. What shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
  2. What type of shoes do bananas wear? Slippers.
  3. What was the car’s favorite kind of sneaker? Vans.
  4. What is made of leather, a foot long and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe.
  5. What did the clown say to his apprentice? You’ve got some big shoes to fill.
  1. Why did the girl put an alarm clock in her shoe? She didn’t want her feet to fall asleep.
  2. What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes? Their mistletoes.
  3. What kind of shoes go with a tree-themed dress? Sandal-wood.
  4. Why do shoes go to the doctors? To be heeled.
  5. Why do dogs chew on shoes? Because they have a taste for fashion.
  1. What vegetable can tie your shoes? String beans.
  2. What do you get when you cross fish and rice with a stiletto? Shoe-shi.
  3. What do you call a milkman wearing high heeled shoes? A dairy queen.
  4. Why did the Earth give a pair of shoes to the Moon? Because it wanted to see the Moonwalk.
  5. Where do mushrooms keep their shoes? On their porch-ini.
Cartoon graphic of a boy putting on shoes while standing up on a blue background.

Shoe one liners

Here are some great shoe joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about shoes.

  1. I need to get new shoes, one of these isn’t right.
  2. I want to buy platform shoes, but I can’t afford them. I’m still a little short.
  3. Last night a thief broke into the shoe factory. He was the sole perpetrator.
  4. I think our local police horse has a dodgy shoe situation going on. He’s always going good clop, bad clop.
  5. When we were kids, my sisters and I would race to put our shoes on every morning. It always ended in a tie.
  1. I took a test on shoes. Totally laced it.
  2. I’ve run a shoe repair shop with my friend for years. He’s my sole mate.
  3. I used to buy my shoes in bulk, but now I just buy them by the foot.
  4. A friend couldn’t tie his shoelaces, so I’ve sent him to boot camp.
  5. My son told me he had a hole in his shoe today I said yes son, that’s where you put your foot in.
  1. I wish I could wear a shoe on my head Because then I’d be a foot taller.
  2. I didn’t think orthopedic shoes would help me But I stand corrected.
  3. I talk to my shoes because the box they came in says Converse.
  4. A friend of mine has this talent for making clown shoes. It’s no small feet.
  5. I bought a pair of running shoes the other day Let me know if you’ve seen them.
  1. Cinderella is a proof that new pair of shoes can change your life.
  2. Sitting with my shoes off next to a warm campfire eating corn chips. Tostitos.
  3. I’d be too embarrassed to make a pun about clog dancing. Wooden shoe?
  4. When Chuck Norris walks through airport security, he makes them take off their shoes.
  5. I opened a shop for plumbers to buy their shoes. Turns out the only thing that will sell is clogs.
Cartoon graphic of a boy sitting while putting on his shoe on a blue background.

Best shoe jokes

These next funny shoe puns are some of our best jokes and puns about shoes!

  1. What does a Pokémon wear on its feet? Pika-Shoes.
  2. How do you measure a lego Minifigure’s shoe size? In square feet.
  3. Why is shoe leather sometimes so stubborn? Because it can’t be suede.
  4. Why did the clown wear horns on his shoes? To keep his feet from falling asleep.
  5. What does it mean when a cowboy finds a horseshoe? His horse is walking around in his socks.
  1. What sort of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad.
  2. What did the ballet dancer say when she lost her shoe? This is pointe-less.
  3. Which animal wears shoes to bed? A horse.
  4. What do you call a peach who works at a shoe mending company? A peach cobbler.
  5. farmer put shoes on his horses and they all started sticking to the grass. They were in a magnetic field.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about shoes, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny clothing puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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