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60 Funny Bean Puns

Dive into a harvest of hilarity with this legume-loaded collection of bean puns! Beans, that musical fruit, the more you eat (and read jokes), the more you’ll hoot! If you’ve got any of your own bean jokes to share, feel free to comment them below!

cartoon can of beans on blue background.

Hilarious bean puns

Wander through the world of witty wordplay with this bushel of our best bean puns. 

  1. Why did the bean sell his car? The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Phillip. Phillip who? Phillip that basket, I need help picking the beans.
  3. Did you hear about the guy who invented dip made from garbanzo beans but didn’t get any recognition for it? He was honored posthummusly.
  4. What do you call a retired vegetable? A has-bean.
  5. Why couldn’t the green bean answer the door? It was in the can.
  1. What kind of stockings do you need to grow green beans? Garden hose.
  2. What’s a werewolf’s favorite bean to eat? A human bean.
  3. What did the lentil say to the other lentil? How you bean?
  4. Did you hear about the bean that changed careers? He went into a different field.
  5. What do you call onions and beans? tear gas.
  1. What do you call a pea that works in the circus? A tra-peas artist.
  2. What did the weirdo say after he was caught creeping around in someone’s garden? I’ve bean stalking you.
  3. What is your favorite pirate movie? Pirates of the Carib-bean.
  4. What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner? The casse-role.
  5. Why can’t you trust tacos? They tend to spill the beans.
Cartoon graphic of scared coffee bean on blue background.
  1. Why did the kicker bring string beans to the football game? Just in case he needed to tie the game.
  2. Why do peas dislike noisy eaters? Because they want peas and quiet.
  3. How does a baked bean learn from its mistakes? It uses Heinz sight.
  4. What vegetable can tie your shoes? String beans.
  5. What did the mama green bean say to her son who got home late? Where have you bean?
  1. Why were the two green bean plants so close? They had deep roots.
  2. When he finally met the love of his life, he said these words, “where you bean all my life? I have been looking for you.”
  3. How are coffee beans like teenagers? They’re always getting grounded.
  4. Who’s a famous jelly bean? Mr. Jelly Bean.
  5. Why should you always invest into the bean market? The stalks can only go up.
  1. Why did the bean play fortnite? because it had a beantroller.
  2. What’s beans’ favorite hat? A beanie.
  3. What vegetable can tie your stomach in knots? String beans.
  4. Why wasn’t the young veggie allowed to start in the game? He was a green bean.
  5. What’s an alternate ending to the famous fairy tale? Jack and the beans talk.
Cartoon graphic of happy bean with arms up on blue background.

More funny bean jokes

Just like there are different types of beans, there are different types of funny bean puns too!

  1. Do you think I’m funny? I’ve bean practicing jokes all day.
  2. Did you hear about the little bean who looked just like his dad? Like fava, like son.
  3. What kind of shows do green beans do? Pod casts.
  4. Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a garden? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the green beans stalk.
  5. Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green bean farm? It was in a seedy part of town.
  1. What kind of beans can’t grow in a garden? Jelly beans.
  2. What is a poet’s favorite legume? Rhyma-beans.
  3. Why don’t I eat beans? Cuz it gives migas.
  4. What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower? De-calf.
  5. What made the green bean turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
  1. What do you call brown mixed with yellow? someone who just ate beans.
  2. What do you call a bean that was previously famous? A “has bean”.
  3. What did Hamlet say? To bean or not to bean, that is the question.
  4. What did the bean philosopher say? I’ve bean thinking
  5. What happens to coffee beans when they have a similar experience?  Having a deja brew.
  1. What do you call a group of trendy beans? Cool beans.
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bean. Bean who? Bean a while since I last saw ya.
  3. Ah, you like Star TrekWell, bean me up, Scotty.
  4. Why are there exactly two hundred and thirty-nine beans in an Irish Bean Soup? Because if there were one more, it’d be too farty.
  5. What’s a tailor’s favorite kind of vegetable? A string bean.
  1. What vegetable comes from outer space? Green beings.
  2. What do you call an athletic bean? A runner bean.
  3. What did the bean of coffee say to its wife? You are brew-ti-ful.
  4. Why don’t people gossip during breakfast? They don’t want to spill the beans.
  5. What do you call a cat who likes to eat beans? Puss ‘n’ Toots.
  1. Why was the bean always so cool? It was just chili.
  2. What’s a bean’s favorite musical instrument? The beanjo!
  3. Why did the bean join a soccer team? It was a great refry!
  4. What what was lima bean always searching for? The beaning of life
  5. A garbanzo bean was looking a little green. “Are you okay?” asked its friend. “No, I falafel.”
Cartoon graphic of split bean with a smiling face on blue background.

Final thoughts

We hope you had a good laugh after reading through all these cool bean puns.If you want to hear more funny vegetable jokes then check out these other great lists!

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