Here are 40 funny soccer jokes and the best soccer puns to crack you up. These jokes about soccer are great jokes for kids and adults.
Here is our top list of soccer dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about soccer, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this soccer humor with others.
- How did the soccer pitch end up as triangle? Somebody took a corner.
- Why didn’t the dog want to play soccer? He was a boxer.
- Why wasn’t the nose on the soccer team? It didn’t get picked.
- Why did the soccer player kick the grass? Because it was being a pitch.
- Did you hear about the soccer player who lived passed a 100? He’s still alive and kicking.
- What did the soccer goalie say to the ball? Catch you later.
- Which soccer player keeps the field neat? The sweeper.
- Why was the magician the captain of the soccer team? He was the best at hat tricks.
- Why was Cinderella such a poor soccer player? Her coach was a pumpkin.
- Why was the skeleton was always left out in a soccer game? Because he had no body to play with.
- Why can’t you play soccer with pigs? They hog the ball.
- How do birds cheer for their soccer teams? They egg them on.
- How do we know that soccer referees are happy? Because they whistle while they work.
- Why couldn’t the soccer player listen to music? Because he broke all the records.
- Why are scrambled eggs like a losing soccer team? Because they’ve both been beaten.
- What is it called when a dinosaur gets a goal? A dino-score.
- What is a ghost’s favorite soccer position? Ghoul keeper.
- What does a soccer player say on Halloween? “Hat Trick or Treat.”
- How do soccer players stay cool during games? They stand near the fans.
- Why did the soccer player hold his boot to his ear? Because he enjoyed sole music.
Soccer one liners
Here are some great soccer joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about soccer.
- The man who invented soccer got a kick out of it.
- My son played soccer in the mud all day. He was a little Messi.
- If you were a soccer ball, I’d never shoot. Because I would always miss you.
- Soccer is the only sport that’s not a game of inches. It’s a game of feet.
- They should end soccer games with an art competition. That way it would be win, lose or draw.
- I bet you play soccer because you’re a keeper.
- Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
- Soccer is a strange game. Soccer is a bunch of people running away from their goals.
- Last weekend I went to see my girlfriend’s soccer match, and she did this awesome save. She’s definitely a keeper.
- The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
Best soccer jokes
These next funny soccer puns are some of our best jokes and puns about soccer!
- What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
- Why are swimmers good at soccer? Because they dive a lot.
- What kind of soccer team cries when it loses? A bawl club.
- Why did the soccer player use his hands? He was tired of de-feat.
- What part of a soccer pitch smells nicest? The “scenter” spot.
- Where do soccer players go to dance? The Football.
- What do soccer referees send during the holidays? Yellow cards.
- Why did the soccer ball quit the team? It was tired of being kicked around.
- Why do soccer players do so well in school? They know how to use their heads.
- Which Pokémon do soccer players like the most? Goalduck.
After reading through all these hilarious jokes about soccer, we hope you had a good laugh.
If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: