60 Funny Paint Jokes

Here are 60 funny paint jokes and the best paint puns to crack you up. These jokes about paint are great paint jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of paint dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about paint, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this paint humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of colorful paint splatter on a blue background.

Paint puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about paint that are also awesome paint jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. Why did the artist sprint down the road? Her paint was running.
  2. Why did the artist add sugar to her paint? To make it more palatable.
  3. How can an artist increase the value of his paintings? By dying.
  4. What did the poor man do with his beautiful water painting? He pond it.
  5. What do you call a drawing made by aquatic animals? Watercolor paintings.
  1. Why did the painter lose the elections? He couldn’t draw enough support.
  2. Do you know how a painter fights? He challenges his rival to a doodle.
  3. What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette.
  4. Did you hear about the artist who only painted peas in little cages? He was a trapped peas artist.
  5. Why was the artist such a big fan of baseball? She loved to paint a pitcher.
  1. What do you call a painter who is colorblind? A sketch artist.
  2. Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? He hoped they’d look like hares.
  3. Did you hear about the skydiving painting competition? The winner won with flying colors.
  4. What did the painter say to the wall? One more crack like that and I’ll plaster you.
  5. Did you hear about the man who painted half of face like a clown, then robbed a bank? The police didn’t see the funny side.
Cartoon graphic of paintbrush and paints on a board on a blue background.
  1. What does a painter draws before he goes to bed? Curtains.
  2. What type of paintings are made in Saudi Arabia? Oil paintings.
  3. How did the painter help his friend in winter? He gave her another coat.
  4. What happened to the man who got paint in his eye? It made him colour blind.
  5. Why do we paint Easter eggs? Because it’s easier than trying to wallpaper them.
  1. How do you hide an elephant in a strawberry patch? Paint it’s toenails red.
  2. What do you call something painted by a tiger? A paw-trait.
  3. Why did the little girl paint spots on the staircase? She was a step-dotter.
  4. What do you get if you paint a pink pig mint-green? A pigmint of your imagination.
  5. Why did the artist quit painting? Cause he was not getting any ‘Monet’.
  1. Did you hear about the artist who paints in jail? He had a brush with the law.
  2. Did you hear about the man covered in gold paint? He had a gilt complex.
  3. Why did the taggers roam around the city at night? They wanted to paint the town red.
  4. Why are there no large painters? Because they all went to the paint store to get thinner.
  5. Why did the lion visit the eye specialist after a can of red paint fell on him? He saw red.
  1. Which famous painting is always sad? The Moaning Lisa.
  2. What do you call a goat who is a famous painter? Vincent van goat.
  3. What sort of art do giraffes paint? Giraffiti.
  4. Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he didn’t have an ear for music.
  5. When Michelangelo finally painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, what did he say? I’ve got you covered.
Cartoon graphic of lots of paint colors splattered everywhere on a blue background.

Paint one liners

Here are some great paint joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about paint.

  1. The painter’s house was very messy. She said it was a work-in-progress.
  2. I really like to paint plane propellers. I am proud of my fan art.
  3. One time Brian tried to paint the sky, but he blue it.
  4. A man recently got arrested for stealing paintings He tried to brush it off, but I think he was framed.
  5. If painting is in your veins, do not be afraid of paint as one day you will have to face paint.
  1. Bought some graffiti proof spray paint. It’s unremarkable.
  2. An eccentric artist used to paint on his pimples. It’s zit art.
  3. I was at the museum and saw a painting of a bowl with milk and food inside. It was surreal.
  4. I went to the paint store to get thinner. It didn’t work.
  5. A ship load of red paint crashed into a ship load of blue paint. The crews were marooned.
  1. I have a joke about paint drying. It’s a bit boring and takes too long to tell.
  2. I painted half of my face like a clown today and went for a drive. I’m not sure everyone saw the funny side.
  3. My friend got some paint in her eye. It made her color blind.
  4. Saw a famous painter painting pictures of bikes on a local church roof. Cycleangelo.
  5. If you tell a painter his art is bad, he usually gets the picture.
Cartoon graphic of opened paint tubes with paint coming out of each on a blue background.

Best paint jokes

These next funny paint puns are some of our best jokes and puns about paint!

  1. What did the painter draw first in the morning? The blinds.
  2. What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
  3. How do painters become famous? By drawing interest.
  4. How did the painter die? By drawing last breathe.
  5. How did the therapist help the painter with his emotions? He drew them out.
  1. When is paint free? When it’s on the house.
  2. How do painters swim? They use breaststroke.
  3. Why did the painter paint a heart? It was a work of artery.
  4. Why can’t painters win at chess? Because they draw.
  5. Did you hear about the artist who only painted fish? His secret was to draw everything to scale.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about paint, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny color jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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