Here are 45 funny driving jokes and the best driving puns to crack you up. These jokes about driving are great jokes for kids and adults.
Here is our top list of driving dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about driving, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this driving humor with others.
- What kind of car does a Viking drive? A fjord
- Why did the chicken cross the road? Because only vegans were driving.
- Who can drive all their customers away and still make money? Taxi drivers.
- Why are racecar drivers the best people to go to for dating advice? They’re trained to look for red flags.
- Why was everyone in the Soviet Union so good at driving manual? Because they were afraid of Stalin.
- What kind of cars do cooks drive? Chef-rolets.
- Why are pigs such bad drivers? Because all they do is hog the road.
- What’s the first thing the taxi driver said to the wolf? Werewolf?
- What do cucumbers drive? Pickle-up trucks.
- What should you double check when buying an electric car? That your driving license is current.
- What do you need to be able to drive in the outback? Koala-fications.
- What did the skeleton drive to the hockey game? A zam-bony.
- What does a tiger drive around the jungle? A furr-ari.
- Why should you never drive a car like a cricketer? Because then you will hit and run.
- What did the computer say to the other person after a 16 hour car ride? Damn, that was a hard drive.
- What car do minions like to drive? SubaGru.
- What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A lamb-orghini.
- What did the donkey do when he saw a bad driver? HEE-HAWnked his horn.
- Why did the man driving stop at every gas station? Cause it’s impolite to pass gas.
- Did you hear about the boss who didn’t give his employee a single weekend off this December? He’s a sleigh driver.
Driving one liners
Here are some great driving joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about driving.
- If I owned a DeLorean, I would probably only drive it from time to time.
- I stopped to pick up a hitchhiker. Turns out he was just telling me he approved of my driving.
- Whenever I see a computer driving a car, I think to myself “What if they crash?”
- I went to the cinema to see a film about truck drivers. It wasn’t for me though. There were too many trailers.
- I got pulled over while driving because I was weaving too much. I told the cop it’s my first time knitting, so I’m pretty slow at it.
- I am driving through England currently and plan to be in Greenwich tomorrow. Not too sure what to do in The Mean Time.
- I saw a lady texting and driving today and I was furious. I rolled down my window, and threw my beer at her.
- I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
- Two fish are in a tank. But they couldn’t figure out how to drive the thing.
- While driving down the road, two robbers jumped into my car and stole everything. They were pirates of the car I be in.
- I saw a magic car driving down the road. It turned into a gas station.
- Apparently I snore so loudly that I scare everyone in the car I’m driving.
- I was driving down a road that was surfaced with emeralds, rubies and diamonds. I think it was a jewel carriageway.
- When Chuck Norris went to his first driving lesson. He got in the car and said “Ok. This is lesson number 1.”
- I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
Best driving jokes
These next funny driving puns are some of our best jokes and puns about driving!
- What cars do snakes drive? An ana-honda.
- Why did Shrek crash his car? He went into ogre-drive.
- Who do you call when you hurt your feet while driving? A toe truck.
- What does a spoon hate to see when driving? A fork in the road.
- Someone complimented me on my driving the other day. They left a note on the windscreen that said “Parking Fine”.
- What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
- I hate stair lifts. They drive me up the wall.
- Why are sheep bad drivers? Because they’re always making ewe turns.
- Why did the washing machine schedule a test drive? Because he wanted to go for a spin.
- I don’t get why people are bothered by the sun while driving. I just close my eyes and it’s not a problem.
After reading through all these hilarious jokes about driving, we hope you had a good laugh.
If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: