25 Funny Blanket Puns

Here are 25 funny blanket jokes and the best blanket puns to crack you up. These jokes about blankets are great jokes for kids and adults.

Blanket puns

Here is our top list of blanket dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about blankets, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this blanket humor with others.

Watson, this bed is missing something? No sheet Sherlock.
What did the pastor say when his blanket rose up from his bed? Holy Sheet.
How do you make a bed in winter? With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Why did the kid wrap all his books in a blanket? So that he could cover the entire syllabus.
Did you hear about the woman who plugged her electric blanket into the toaster? She kept popping out of bed.
What does a blanket detective do? Go undercover.
Why does your laptop have a blanket on it? It’s on sleep mode.
Why did the blanket need a therapist? Because it always covered up its feelings.
What kind of blanket has the most patience? A weighted blanket.
Why did the kids give their dad a blanket for Father’s Day? Because they thought he was the coolest dad.

Here are some great blanket joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about blankets.

My wife traumatically ripped the blankets off me last night, but I will recover.
I love my electric blanket, I’m never going back to my acoustic one.
I loved my job at the blanket company until it folded.
I’ve only got a couple of hours left to finish weaving this blanket, it’s a looming deadline.
I used to hate the electric blanket but the last few nights I’ve been warming up to it

I saw an Elsa blanket, I didn’t get it though, the cold never really bothered me anyway.
I’ve just checked my home insurance policy and apparently if my blanket is stolen in the middle of the night, I’m not covered.
My friend told me that I’m obsessed with blankets and duvets, apparently I’m just too wrapped up in them.
My daughter asked for a Frozen blanket so, last night she slept on the balcony.
My wife asked me, “Which one of my two quilts do you like better?” I said, “I refuse to make blanket statements.”

These next funny blanket puns are some of our best jokes and puns about blankets!

What did the blanket scream as it fell off a bed? Oh sheet.
Why was the child’s blanket arrested? For being an accessory to a kid napping.
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Look out pillow.
What kind of moron invented the fire blanket? Surely fire is warm enough already.
I feel a bit bad for making blanket statements about beds. It’s just that they are my quilty pleasure.