20 Funny Tank Puns

Here are 20 funny tank jokes and the best tank puns to crack you up. These jokes about tanks are great jokes for kids and adults.

Cartoon graphic of a blue tank with a smiling face on a blue background.

Tank puns

Here is our top list of tank dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about tanks, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this tank humor with others.

  1. Where do the smart fish hang out? A think tank.
  2. Why did the tank go to school? It wanted to get armed with knowledge.
  3. Do you want to hear what happened on Tiananmen square? No tanks.
  4. Why do French tanks have rear way mirrors? So the drivers could see the battlefield.
  5. How long does it take a Russian tank to drive from Moscow to Kyiv? Depends how many people are pushing.
  1. Why did Thomas the Tank Engine stop working on FridayHe ran out of steam.
  2. Why did the French chef stuff snails into his gas tank? Because it makes escargot.
  3. What does a car‘s fuel tank wear when it’s cold outside? A gas cap.
  4. What does Thomas the Tank Engine call his teen brother? A steam punk.
  5. Why did the seafood-themed jazz musician’s career tank? Because he had no sol
Cartoon graphic of a red gas tank on a blue background.

Tank one liners

Here are some great tank joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about tanks.

  1. A sea lion escaped from the aquarium, I heard they had to re-seal the tank.
  2. After 18 days of stealing Putin’s tanks, Ukrainian farmers are now the fifth largest military in Europe.
  3. I never knew that Peter Sellers was a tank driver for Germany during WW2, apparently, it was a pink panzer.
  4. I recently bought a few tank tops, sadly our captain doesn’t want our armored vehicles to look trendier.
  5. Gas prices are getting ridiculous, I went online to check the value of my car and it asked if the tank was empty or full.
Cartoon graphic of two fish in a fish tank on a blue background.

Best tank jokes

These next funny tank puns are some of our best jokes and puns about tanks!

  1. What do you call a shirt you go to war with? A tank top.
  2. What did the goldfish say when he got his house cleaned? Tank poo.
  3. Two fish are in a tank. But they couldn’t figure out how to drive the thing.
  4. How do you get all those Russian tanks out from the mud? Ukraine them out.
  5. It’s great that Turkey is providing heavy armored vehicles to Ukraine. Everyone loves tanks giving turkey.
Cartoon graphic of an army man saluting on top of a tank on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about tanks, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny vehicle jokes, then check out these other great lists of funny puns:

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