50 Funny Snail Jokes

Here are 50 funny snail jokes and the best snail puns to crack you up. These jokes about snails are great snail jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of snail dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about snails, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this snail humor with others.

Cartoon graphic of pink snail holding a flower with blue background.

Snail puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about snails that are also awesome snail jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. Why are snail races so short? Because they can only move one foot.
  2. When do you know a snail is lying? When she tells you she’s not at home.
  3. What relationship advice did the snail give to it’s friend? Take it slow.
  4. What kind of helmet does a snail wear? A shell-met.
  5. I’m currently studying snails and slugs. It’s safe to say I’m a slow learner.
  1. What would a snail want with a smartphone? It takes a lot of shellfies.
  2. What did the snail say when his friend lost his car? Where did Es-car-go.
  3. Are slugs just snails that have gone through a divorce? Yes, she got the house.
  4. What did the snail say when it was riding on the back of a turtle? Wheeeeee.
  5. What sound does a snail make? Crunch.
Cartoon graphic of adult and baby snail with blue sheels on blue background.
  1. What is the slowest ship? A snail boat.
  2. What did the snail’s parents call him when he dropped out of school? A snailure.
  3. What do you do when you see 2 snails fighting? Let them slug it out.
  4. Why are snails the strongest animal in the world? Because they carry their whole house on their back.
  1. What did the snail say to his ex-wife? I’m still leaving you.
  2. I hosted a party for snails that don’t have shells. It was a slugfest.
  3. Why don’t McDonald’s sell snails? Because they are not fast food.
  4. Why was the snail so fun? He loved having a good slime.
  5. Where can you find giant snails? At the end of a giants fingers.
  1. What do you call a snail in a shotgun shell? A slug.
  2. How do snails breathe under water? Snailkels.
  3. What did the snail say as she slipped down the wall? How slime flies.
  4. Why did the snail get rid of his shell? He was sick of hearing the sea wherever he went.
  5. What do snails do on their birthday? They shellabrate.
Cartoon graphic of green smiling snail with blue background.
  1. Two snails were playing chess but neither could win. It was a snailmate.
  2. Why did the shy snail drink? To come out of his shell.
  3. What do you call it when you have two snails getting towed behind a boat with parachute on? Pair-a-snailing.
  4. What do you call a snail in the Navy? A snailor.
  1. What do you call it when you throw sodium chloride at a snail? An a-salt.
  2. What’s a snail’s favorite fruit? Lemons and slimes.
  3. What did the snail tell the slug? I love Michelle.
  4. How do slugs send post? By snail mail.
  5. What was wrong with the snail? If felt a bit sluggish.
  1. How do snails keep in touch? They use shell phones.
  2. Why was the snail so shy? She was a real homebody.
  3. What did the slug say to the snail? I don’t suppose you’re selling your house?
  4. What did a snail say to another snail when he wanted to leave the party? We should slowly get going.
  5. How does a snail answer the phone? Shello?
Cartoon graphic of smiling green snail on blue background.

Best snail jokes

These next funny snail puns are some of our best jokes and puns about snails!

  1. Why did the snail cross the road? It is not clear yet, let it cross the road first.
  2. My pet snail lost his shell. He’s looking a bit sluggish.
  3. What did the sloth say when he was mugged by a bunch of snails? It all happened so fast.
  4. What’s the difference between a snail’s eye and a slug’s eye? Nothing. They are eye-tentacle.
  5. What was the snail doing on the motorway? About a mile a week.
  1. Why are snail shells so shiny? Because they use snail varnish.
  2. Did you hear about the snail who robbed a clock shop? She took a lot of time.
  3. What did the sea snail say to the other sea snail when be cracked his shell? Sea-kelp! Sea-kelp!
  4. What is a snail’s preferred political and economic system? Soshellism.
  5. Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail? It’s pretty much a downward spiral.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these funny snail jokes we hope you had a good laugh..

If you want to hear more funny animal jokes like these snail puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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