65 Funny Clock Puns

Here are 65 funny clock jokes and the best clock puns to crack you up. These jokes about clocks are great clock jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of clock dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about clocks, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this clock humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of a grey alarm clock running and looking like he is late holding a briefcase and paper on blue background.

Clock puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about clocks that are also awesome clock jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What do you call a clever clock? Clockwise.
  2. What do you call a belt made out of clocks? A waist of time.
  3. How do clocks greet each other? Hour you doing?
  4. How do clocks sneeze? Watch-oo.
  5. Why did the person hold their wall clock up to the mirror? It was time for reflection.
  1. What do you call a clock on the moon? A lunar tick.
  2. What happens if you annoy a clock? You might just tick off.
  3. How do you know a clock is hungry? It goes back four seconds.
  4. Why did the girl put an alarm clock in her shoe? She didn’t want her feet to fall asleep.
  5. On a clock, 11:59:59am is my favorite time of day. It’s second to noon.
  1. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a clock? A cluck.
  2. What do wall clocks do after they stop ticking? Probably just hang around.
  3. What is another name for a grandfather clock? An old timer.
  4. What do you say when you find out that your grandfather clock is infested with bugs? Time flies.
  5. What does it mean if you see a billboard with a picture of a wall clock on it? It’s a sign of the times.
Cartoon graphic of a happy-faced colorful clock with one arm up and one arm down on blue background.
  1. Why was the clock called to the principal’s office? It was tocking too much.
  2. What did the clock say when it got punched at noon? It’s twelve ow clock.
  3. Why was the clock in a hurry? It was running out of time.
  4. What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? Look Grandpa, no hands.
  5. Why did the man throw his watch out of the window? He wanted to see time fly.
  1. What would a clock look like with no numbers? Timeless.
  2. What do you call a clock made out of records? It’s the vinyl countdown.
  3. What did the man say after he swallowed a clock and went to the bathroom? Watch out.
  4. Why did the scientist drop a wristwatch into his flask? He was looking for a timely solution.
  5. What’s tall, wooden and complains about all of today’s digital gadgets? A grandfather clock.
  1. Where did the clock finish the race? Probably wherever it wound up.
  2. Why do clocks get Covid? Their hands are on their faces.
  3. What did the clock say to the metronome after his stand-up routine? The jokes need some work, but your timing is impeccable.
  4. Did you guys hear about the kid getting arrested for bringing a clock to school? Sources say that the teachers were alarmed.
  5. Why do you think the man kept a clock under his work desk? Because he hoped to work overtime.
  1. How did the cow soccer team win the game? By milking the clock.
  2. What has eight arms and tells the time? A clocktopus.
  3. How do you make time go fast on MondayThrow a clock.
  4. Why do the guards around Big Ben always look so tired? Because they’re working around the clock.
  5. If love is one long sweet dream, what’s a marriage? An alarm clock.
Cartoon graphic of a green clock with a smiling face standing with arms in the air on blue background.

Clock one liners

Here are some great clock joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about clocks.

  1. I got a new 24 hour clock yesterday and it’s broken already. It only lasted a day.
  2. There is a competition to find the country’s best time piece. So I have put my clock forward.
  3. They are finally making a movie called “Clocks”. It’s about time.
  4. I had a friend who kept changing the sound that his alarm clock made. I wonder what he’s getting up to now?
  5. Interesting to hear about plans to install a clock face on the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It will have the time and the inclination.
  1. 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
  2. If I worked in a clock shop, I’d have the time of my life.
  3. Trying to eat a clock is very time consuming.
  4. Once I tried to make a belt out of watches. I found out it was a big waist of time.
  5. Went to a fancy dress party as an alarm clock. Got really irritated, everyone was winding me up.
  1. I smashed a clock and the policeman wanted to arrest me for killing time.
  2. Most clockmakers are normal. Some are cuckoo.
  3. If you play a clock in a drama, you might just end up in a time-consuming act.
  4. I am thinking of opening a pre-owned clock store. I’m gonna call it ‘Second Hand’.
  5. I’ve been teaching myself to juggle clocks. I guess I have too much time on my hands.
  1. A scientist wanted the day to go faster, so he tied a clock to a messenger pigeon. Time flew.
  2. I held up my clock to a mirror. It was time for reflection.
  3. My son’s favorite nursery rhyme taught me what strategy mice use to win sports games. They like to run down the clock.
  4. Did you know Father Time is really good at boxing? He can clock you a good one.
  5. I finally came up with a good joke about clocks. It’s about time.
Cartoon graphic of a happy-faced colorful clock on blue background.

Best clock jokes

These next funny clock puns are some of our best jokes and puns about clocks!

  1. How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
  2. Why did the boy sit on the clock? To be on time.
  3. Why did the woman shoot the clock? She wanted to kill time.
  4. What do you call a story that one clock tells another? Second hand information.
  5. What has 2 hands, a face and is only ever right twice a day? A clock with no battery.
  1. What did the robber say to the clock? Hands up.
  2. Why couldn’t the clock work alone? It needed a hand.
  3. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Time will tell.
  4. Why did the beaver need an alarm clock? It was too dam early.
  5. Did you hear about the snail who robbed a clock shop? She took a lot of time.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about clocks, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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