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100 Jokes About Lemons

Here are 100 funny lemon jokes and the best lemon puns to crack you up. These jokes about lemons are great lemon jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of lemon dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about lemons, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this lemon humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of waving and smiling lemon on blue background.

Lemon puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about lemons that are also awesome lemons jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. Why did the lemon do poorly on the test? The lemon didn’t do well at school because it couldn’t concentrate.
  2. How did they meet? One lemon met another and the zest is history.
  3. Why are they fighting? Lemons and limes are bitter rivals.
  4. Why did the lemon go to the doctor? It had a sour stomach.
  5. What was the title of the lemon’s motivational speech? If a lemon curd, it would.
  1. Don’t you just love lemons? They are sub-lime.
  2. How do you make a lemon drop? Hold it high and let go.
  3. Which citrus fruit is bitter and green? A lemon in a green jumper.
  1. Why do lemons wear suntan lotion? Because they peel.
  2. Why did the lemon fail his driving test? It kept peeling out.
  3. What kind of lemon performs for charity? Lemon Aid.
  4. Why did the lemon stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
  1. What did the lemon say after it sneezed? Ex-squeeze me.
  2. How do you make a lemon puff? Chase it round the garden.
  3. What’s yellow and goes bzzzzz? An electric lemon.
  4. What do you get when you cross a cat and a lemon? A sour puss.
  1. What did the melon say to the lemon’s marriage proposal? I cantaloupe.
  2. What happens when life gives you pickles instead of lemons? You dill with it.
  3. What did the pickle say to the lemon? I relish our time together.
  1. What will we give to a sick lemon? Lemon aid.
  2. How long did it take for the lemon to form its zest? A couple sours.
  3. How are synagogues like lemons? They’re full of acidic juice.
  4. How did Sherlock reply to Watson’s inquiry, “Sherlock, where did you get all of these lemons?” “A lemon tree, my dear Watson.
  5. What did the dyslexic man do when life gave him lemons? He made melon-ade.
  1. Why did the lemon cross the road? He wanted to play squash.
  2. Who is the lemon’s favorite author? Lemony Snickett.
  3. What did the lemon say when they had to get by? Ex-squeeze me.
  4. What did the orange call his wife? Honey Lemon.
Cartoon graphic of laughing lemon on blue background.
  1. What did the lemon in the salad say to the tomato?“ Give me a squeeze.
  2. Which tree has the least amount of education? A lemon tree.
  3. What advice did the lemon give the lime? Juice be you.
  1. Who did the lemon rob the bank with? His partner in lime.
  2. What do you call a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back? A Boo-Meringue
  3. Where did the grapefruit get her joggers? Lululemon.
  4. Why did the lemon cross the road? Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
  5. What did the old lemon see before it died? The grim ripe-r.
  1. What do you get if you crossbreed a dinosaur with a lemon? A dinosaur.
  2. How does the lemon ask for a hug? Give us a squeeze.
  3. What did the lime say to the grapefruit? Orange, you glad you’re not a lemon?
  4. When you bump into a lemon, what does it say? Sour, you doing?
  5. What did the lemon lawyer declare? I zest my case.
  1. Why do lemons and limes like to fight? They are bitter rivals.
  2. Who did the lemon hire to clean her house quickly? Minute Maid.
  3. Why did the lemon disapprove of his daughter? Because she was a little tart.
  4. How did the lemon change up her style? She got lemonade braids.
  5. What did the teacher tell the lemons when they misbehave? You have to do bitter next time.
  1. How do you make a lemon drop? Let it go.
  2. Why are lemons safer than limes? There’s no such thing as lemon’s disease.
  3. What do you call an evil lemon? Sour On.
  4. Why did the lemon turn into lime juice? It couldn’t handle the pressure.
  5. What do you call a lemon with no eyes? A lemon. Lemons don’t typically have eyes.
  1. What did the lemon say to the lime upon meeting? Did we just become zest friends?
  2. Why are lemons are positive fruits? They always squeeze the day.
  3. What do you call a dancing pie? Lemon Merengue.
  4. Do you like lemons? I think they are sublime.
  5. What’s a lemon’s favorite movie? Pulp Fiction.
  1. What do you call it when you eat lemons at sunset? The golden sour.
  2. What happens to Germans when they eat too many lemons? They become sour krauts.
  3. Where do lemons go to jail? Lemonworth.
  4. What do lemons call any first aid kits? Lemonade kits.
Cartoon graphic of smiling lemon on blue background.

Lemon one liners

Here are some great lemon joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about lemons.

  1. I ate the lemon because it looked so a-peeling.
  2. I gave a woman some lemonade last night and schwepped her off her feet.
  3. You’re simply the zest.
  4. One lemon met another and the zest is history.
  1. The search for the stolen lemons was fruitless.
  2. The lemon is feeling said she just lost her zest.
  3. The lemon lawyer declared… “I zest my case!”
  4. The lemon failed its driving test because it kept peeling out.
  5. Why did the lemon go out with a prune? Because she couldn’t find a date.
  1. A dinosaur eating a lemon is a Tyrannasourest Rex.
  2. When lemons start fighting all hell breaks juice.
  3. Why did the lemon pie go to the dentist? Because it needed fillings.
  4. Cit-rus got real.
  5. Lemon tell you a joke.
  1. A cat that eats lemons is a sour puss.
  2. The lemon went to the doctor because it had a sour stomach.
  3. “This lemon is too sour,” he said bitterly.
  4. The lemon stopped in the road because it ran out of juice.
  5. When the lemon proposed it pipped the question.
Cartoon graphic of running lemon with face on blue background.

Best lemon jokes

These next funny lemon puns are some of our best jokes and puns about lemons!

  1. What were pre-historic lemons called? Dino-sours.
  2. What happened to the lemon boxer? He got beaten to a pulp.
  3. Why did the baker throw in a dozen lemons to his bread mix? He wanted to make sour dough.
  4. What instrument does the lemon play? The lemon-cello.
  1. What happens when a lemon falls in love? It catches peelings.
  2. Why was the lemon depressed? It lost all of its zest.
  3. How does a lemon answer the phone? By saying “yellow!”
  4. What did the orange say to the dying lemon? You will be sourly missed.
  5. What did one lemon said to the other lemon? We are zest friends forever.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about lemons, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny fruit jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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