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45 Jokes About Grapes

Here are 45 funny grape jokes and the best grape puns to crack you up. These jokes about grapes are great grape jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of grape dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about grapes, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this grape humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of girl wearing grape outfit with blue background.

Grape puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about grapes that are also awesome grape jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What would a grape say if you step on it? It won’t say anything; it will just let out a little wine.
  2. Did you hear the joke about the grape? It was pit-iful.
  3. How do you think the grapes complain? Oh, they just vine.
  4. Who was purple and wanted to rule the world? Alexander the Grape.
  5. How does a wine drinker hear about the next best brand? Through the grapevine.
  1. Why wouldn’t Mrs Grape leave her children behind? Because she loves raisin kids.
  2. What did one grape say to another? You’ve got appeal in bunches.
  3. What did the salad say to the fruit? You look grape today.
  4. What did the fruit say to the vegetable? Lettuce be grape friends.
  5. What happened when the grape was promoted? It got a raisin pay.
  1. What do you call a man that can’t stop eating grapes? A bottomless pit.
  2. What happens when sour grapes get angry? They try raisin hell.
  3. Where would the raisins keep their money? In the currant account.
  4. What kind of decisions do grapes make? Fruitful ones.
Cartoon graphic of bunch of grapes smiling with blue background.
  1. What did the grape say to the peanut? You’re nuts.
  2. Why did grape prices go up? There was a raisin demand.
  3. A grape walked into a mixer and didn’t even thank the mixer for not squishing it. He was quite ungrapeful.
  4. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because she ran out of juice.
  5. What is purple and huge and swims in the ocean? Moby Grape.
  1. People ask why I hate grapes? I have my raisins.
  2. Who is a grape’s favorite actor? Brad Pit.
  3. How did the grape get to be so wise? By raisin awareness.
  4. What is purple and swings from a tree? A gr-ape.
  5. Did you hear about the guy who drowned in a sea of grape juice? He tried swimming to shore but his efforts were fruitile.
Cartoon graphic of grapes with blue background looking like old man with green leaf moustache.
  1. A grape wanted to go out in the sun. The others in the bunch said, You are being unraisinable.
  2. What’s the difference between a grape, apple and an arm? you don’t slice a grape.
  3. Why did the grape get disqualified from the limbo championship? He kept raisin the bar.
  4. What is purple and long? The grape wall of China.
  5. Where do the priests go to get holy grapes? Off devine.
  1. What would it be called if you start educating people about the benefits of dried grapes? Raisin awareness.
  2. What would a superhero who doesn’t wear a cape and dislikes fruit say? Not all heroes wear grapes.
  3. Why was the grape late to work? He had to make a pit stop.
  4. Did you hear about the grape that betrayed his country? He committed traisin.
  5. What fruits do the batteries like the most? The currants.

Best grape jokes

These next funny grape puns are some of our best jokes and puns about grapes!

  1. What do you call a purple gorilla? A grape ape.
  2. What is it called when you get a really bad wine hangover? The grape depression.
  3. Why did the grape cross the road? No raisin.
  4. What would the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe.
  5. What do you say when a grape falls off the vine and ends up drying? Everything happens for a raisin.
  1. How do you measure the length of grapevines? You do it in vineyards.
  2. Why couldn’t the grape help his friend move on Sunday? Because he was in a jam.
  3. Why did the grape get disqualified from the limbo championship? He kept raisin the bar.
  4. What would the news show about berries be called? The currant affairs show.
  5. What did the grape say to others in the bunch?  It’s grape hanging out with you guys.
Cartoon graphic of grapes with blue background smiling.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these orange jokes we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more food puns and funny fruit jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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