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80 Funny Lettuce Jokes

ByChe Lewis

Here are 80 funny lettuce jokes and the best lettuce puns to crack you up. These jokes about lettuces are great lettuce jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of lettuce dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about lettuces, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this lettuce humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of smiling ice berg lettuce on blue background.

Lettuce puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about lettuces that are also awesome lettuces jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. Why’s it called a Caesar Salad? Because Caesar ruled the romaines.
  2. Why’d the lettuce blush? It saw the salad dressing.
  3. Why is she still part of the pen-pal programme? She loves receiving lettuce from her friends.
  4. Why is lettuce the most romantic vegetable? Lettuce grow old and wilted together.
  5. Why did the lettuce go crazy? It lost its head.
  1. Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it? In case there’s a salad dressing.
  2. What did the lawyer say in court? You have the right to romaine silent.
  3. Did you hear the race of the tomato and lettuce? The lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
  4. How does lettuce listen to music? Headphones.
  5. Why did the lettuce stop dating the mushroom? He though she was a pretty fungal, but didn’t have mushroom on its schedule.
  1. When does a sandwich cook? When it’s bakin’ lettuce and tomato.
  2. What’s a gardener’s favourite Beatles song?  Lettuce Be.
  3. Why should you never float a boat in the salad?  Because it might hit an iceberg.
  4. What’s an astronaut’s favourite type of lettuce?  Rocket.
  5. What did the radish and cauliflower say to the cabbage that needed help, but refused? Lettuce
  1. What did the DJ say at the dinner party? Lettuce turnip the beat.
  2. How do you make a salad very cold? Use iceberg lettuce.
  3. Why did the puny lettuce go to the gym? It wanted to get shredded.
  4. What’s the difference between a baby and a salad? Most people don’t get angry when you toss a salad.
  5. What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad? The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
  1. What did the vegetables say to the sandwich? Lettuce all smile.
  2. What is a kayaker’s favourite kind of lettuce? Row-maine.
  3. How did the vegetables ask for a pay rise? Lettuce have a raisin celery.
  4. Why couldn’t the lettuce relax? Because he wasn’t cool as a cucumber.
  5. What did the lettuce say to the tomato? You hang around and I’ll go ahead.
Cartoon graphic of lettuce waving and smiling on blue background.
  1. What water yields the most beautiful lettuce heads? Perspiration.
  2. What did the sandwich say to the doorman? Lettuce in.
  3. What did the Bacon say to the Tomato? Lettuce get together.
  4. What did the mum say to her son? Don’t be so root, learn some manners.
  5. What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad.
  1. What did the salad greens say to the hungry kids? We will make your mouth and your tummy happy, if you lettuce.
  2. Why are lettuces good at division? They always find the romaine-der.
  3. What did the lettuce say to the celery? Quit stalking me.
  4. What did the kind person say? My car broke down, can I get a leaf?
  5. What did the lettuce say to the ship? Iceberg.
  6. How do you win a race against vegetables? You have to get ahead of lettuce
  7. How do tacos say grace? Lettuce pray.
  8. Why do lettuces solve puzzle better as a team? Its like they say, two heads are better than one.
  9. Why does the lettuce always win the bodybuilding competition? It starts a head and is usually shredded.
  10. Why do bacon, lettuce, and tomatoes have the lowest IQ out of all the foods? Because they’re in-bred!
  1. What is a penguin’s favorite salad? Iceberg lettuce.
  2. What did the lettuce say when asked about his decision? I wanna leaf my options open.
  3. What was the news about the Titanic? The titanic hit an iceberg lettuce.
  4. What novels do salads love? Romaine-ce novels.
  5. Why didn’t the Titanic serve lettuce? They we’re scared of the icebergs.
  6. What do you call it when a chicken stares at lettuce? Chicken sees a salad.
  7. What do you call leftover lettuce? The Romaines.
  8. What was the history of the Romaine empire? Caeser was the emperor.
  9. How does a lettuce listen to music? Headphones.
  10. What do farmers say when they want to party? Hey, lettuce turnip the beets
Cartoon graphic of lettuce with face and doing thumbs up sign with hand on blue background.

Lettuce one liners

Here are some great lettuce joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about lettuces.

  1. I sent some love lettuce to my girlfriend.
  2. Lettuce sing together now.
  3. Lettuce pray together.
  4. Lettuce celebrate.
  5. Lettuce always be friends.
  1. Lettuce know if you love lettuce puns.
  2. In division, you need to find the romaine-der.
  3. Row-maine your boat.
  4. She managed to get a-head of the group.
  5. A-head of the pack.
  1. The investigation lettuce to the wrong conclusion.
  2. I’m rooting for you.
  3. You grow dude.
  4. I’m sexy and I grow it.
  5. Someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
  1. Please romaine calm everyone.
  2. Lettuce is absolutely plant-tastic.
  3. Take a leaf of faith.
  4. Leaf no stone unturned.
  5. What a re-leaf.
Cartoon graphic of lettice doing peace symbols with hands on blue background.

Best lettuce jokes

These next funny lettuce puns are some of our best jokes and puns about lettuces!

  1. What do you call a hen looking at lettuce? A chicken sees her salad.
  2. What makes lettuce so special? Nothing, it’s just arugula vegetable.
  3. What do you call a baby lion on lettuce? Cub Salad.
  4. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? Because its got heart.
  5. Where did the lettuce go on their date? The salad bar.
  1. What do you call a bin full of lettuce? The tip of the iceburg.
  2. What do you call lettuce leaves covered in solid gold? A bunch of money.
  3. Why are lettuces never lonely? Because they come in bunches.
  4. Why doesn’t Elton John like lettuce? Because he’s a rocketman.
  5. What did the salad bar say to the others? You’re so romaine-tic.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about lettuces, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more hilarious vegetable jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

Hi! I'm Che, and I hope you enjoy these jokes as much as me. These jokes lists are curated by me alone. I handpick the jokes for quality, create some myself or add ones that have been contributed by readers like you.

I constantly update Here's A Joke posts to ensure top quality. Not feeling a joke or got one to share? Let me know in the comments or contact me. With your support, I'm aiming for the best joke site around.

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