Alright, fellow cat lovers, welcome to the punderful world of cats! I've compiled the ultimate list of cat puns to make you laugh (or at least smile and shake your head).
These are great for printing on a birthday card, adding to Christmas crackers, or printing on t-shirts! And if you think you have a better one, drop it in the comments!
Behind the Jokes
Hello there! Welcome to this carefully curated collection of cat puns and jokes! I'm Che and I created this website for those seeking a wholesome laugh, free from non-clean, unfunny or inappropriate content.
Each joke here is handpicked by me, some are originals, and some are contributions from readers. I'm always updating and refining, based on inspiration and your feedback. If a joke doesn't quite land for you or if you have one to share, drop a comment.
My goal has and always will be to make this the best joke site out there and with your help and support, I think it can! Also consider joining the email list to get a weekly newsletter with jokes of the week, printable games, memes, create your own joke competitions, and more.
Whether you're a cat lover or just here for the laughs, these funny puns might tickle your whiskers!
- Do you want to hear a bad cat joke? Just kitten.
- What do you call a cat sitting on ice? One cool cat.
- What do you call a cat wearing shoes? A puss in boots.
- What did you call the cat next door 800,000 years ago? A neighbor-toothed tiger.
- Why was the poor man shaking a cat? To see if there was any money in the kitty.
- Why don't cats like online shopping? They prefer a cat-alogue.
- What did the cat on the smart phone say? Can you hear meow?
- Where does a cat go when it loses its tail? The re-tail store.
- Why are cats so good at video games? Because they have nine lives.
- How do you mail a cat? Use fur-class mail.
- What animals are the best pets? Cats, because they are purr-fect.
- What's a cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse.
- Why did the cat wear a fancy dress? She was feline fine.
- What did the alien say to the cat? Take me to your litter.
- What was the Cat In the Hat doing on the toilet? Thing one and thing two.
More witty cat puns
I've got tons of hilarious cat puns, it's hard to narrow them down. Take a paws and have a read of these!
- What did the cat say when it was confused? I'm purr-plexed.
- What do cats use to make coffee? A purr-colator.
- What is a cat's favorite season? Pawtumn.
- What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisker.
- Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
- What do you get when you cross a big cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
- Why do kittens not have many friends? They have a lot of cat-titude.
- What is a cat's favorite day of the week? Cat-urday.
- How do you know a cat is agitated? He's having a hissy fit.
- Why can't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
- In what kind of weather is a vet the busiest? When it's raining cats and dogs.
- Why was the alley cat afraid of the tree? Because of its bark.
- What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
- Why was the cat sitting on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse.
- What’s a cat’s favorite button on the TV remote? Paws.
- Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water? She set a new lap record.
- What did the cat have for breakfast? Mice crispies.
- Which spotted wild cat is the epitome of good energy flow? The Chi-tah
- What did the mouse say when the cat grabbed his tail? That’s the end of me.
- What should you tell people when you’re looking for Captain Marvel’s cat? That you’re on a wild Goose chase.
Even more cat-related puns
Admittedly, some of these are fur-midably cheesy, but they still give me a good laugh.
- What do you call a flying cat? I'm-paws-sible.
- What do cats love to do in the morning? Read the mewspaper.
- How did the cat type his name on the computer? He typed A Tab B
- What do you call a cat that lives at the beach? Sandy claws.
- What do you call a cat that eats lemons? A sour puss.
- Why do cats always get their way? They are very purr-suasive.
- What do cats like to eat on a hot day? A mice-cream cone.
- What do you call a photo taken by a cat? A paw-trait.
- What did the cat say when he was fed up? I'm not in the right meow-d!
- What song does a cat like best? Three blind mice.
- What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxi cabs.
- What game did the cat like to play with the mouse? Catch.
- What do you get if you cross a cat and a squid? An octopuss.
- What did the cat say when she got stuck in the hole? Help meow-t.
- What's a cat's favorite discount? Buy one get one furry.
- What do you call a floating cat? A bobcat.
- What do you call a cat who likes to eat beans? Puss ‘n’ Toots.
- What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
- What's kind of sports car does a cat drive? A furrari
- Why did the cat get pulled over by the police? Because it littered.
Cat one liners
Some funny one-liners about our funny balls of fluff!
- My cat won a dog show, would you believe it! The other contestants yelled 'Cat-has-trophy!'
- Took my cat to work today, and when I went to the scanner, everyone else was there with their cats as well. Such a bunch of copycats.
- I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat but I would be lion.
- I saw a big cat wearing a flamboyant hat and cape the other day. I think it was a dandy lion.
- The tiger ran away from other tigers as they were rude to him. He didn’t want to be involved in a catfight.
- My friend keeps trying to get me to get a cat even though I'm a dog person. Talk about peer purr-essure.
- To avoid rodent problems, I always ensure the traps have fresh cheese, and my cat's claws are sharpened. That's just good mousekeeping.
- Forgot my cat's birthday today. He's such a sour puss about it.
- Wishing you a meowy Christmas.
- Yesterday I was charged a million dollars for sending my cat into space. It was a cat astro fee.
I hope you loved these purrfect cat puns! Whether you wanna use 'em to wish your best fur-end a happy purr-thday, make someone smile, or just read them for yourself! As always, I love it when you leave a comment if you have a fave joke, or one to add.
Want meow puns? Check out these other great lists of funny jokes: